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Kink???? - 6/9/2006 3:19:49 PM   
rose442


Posts: 60
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		Why is this lifestyle refered to as kink?
By people that live this lifestyle to the fullest, it is NOT KINK. It is a lifestyle.
And, why are there so many people within the lifestyle that do refer to it as kink? ( ohh well, I guess we could refer to VANILLA as kink).

rose442

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 3:39:32 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		You do not have to think of it that way, but I see nothing wrong with the term personally, it is just an adjective

here is the definition

Kinky 2 : relating to, having, or appealing to unconventional tastes especially in sex; also : sexually deviant


Now that describes what I do, and I have no problem with it... If you do, well that is your feelings on the subject Adding more on edit... I think that the defiition actually encompasses more than sexuality, it states unconventional tastes. I think that this lifestyle appeals to unconventional tastes. Many people in the lifestyle embrace the term "deviant" also. People in subcultures often embrace the terms others have used to denigrate them, I see this as being no different. It is only denigrating if you feel it is.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 6/9/2006 3:58:20 PM >

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 3:49:53 PM   
vield


Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		One point I feel is important is that ANY label used to characterize a person or group of people only makes sense if it is "self applied".

If I feel my interests are "kinky" then it is my right to stick the "Kinky" label on my forehead. You may have identical interests, but if you feel yours are not kinky, that is your right. A lot depends upon what definitions everyone is using, which may be very different. This is one reason I feel it is very important to talk through all of one's negotiations with potential partners, to try to bring forth good mutual understanding.

I feel that when one choses labels and applies them to others this is usually done in an attempt to feel superior to those one is labeling. When the label is self applied it is advertising, lol.

As always your mileage may vary!

vield

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 3:55:29 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

Why is this lifestyle refered to as kink?
By people that live this lifestyle to the fullest, it is NOT KINK. It is a lifestyle.
And, why are there so many people within the lifestyle that do refer to it as kink? ( ohh well, I guess we could refer to VANILLA as kink).

rose442

Why do people refere to BDSM as 'the lifestyle'.  To me, its not a lifestyle - its who I am and what I like and believe in.  It is a lifestyle to YOU.  But not to me.  How can a lifestyle be what I just am?  I am female - does that mean female is a lifestyle?  Why do so many people refere to BDSM as a lifestyle?
How about 'community'... why do I need a community, I do not have a need to belong?
How about the great 'submission/dominance is a gift' theory?
 
They say it to stand out.  Because it makes it different from being 'vanilla'(hate that word).
 
Kink is a desire - to some - BDSM is a desire.
Its a quirk.  So yes - being outside wiitwd can be kinky too.
Its something unusual.  Its just a simple slang word.
 
I adore being kinky.  I love that I am eccentric.  Why be offended to be a pervette?  The definition simply means to be that little bit more different.
 
Peace and Rapture


< Message edited by darkinshadows -- 6/9/2006 3:56:37 PM >

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 3:59:44 PM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		In my humble opinion there is no such thing as being kinky. At the end of the day it is only how another person percieves ur tastes because they are not theirs and that has to make ur tastes abnormal right??????????
 

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 4:08:40 PM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

Why is this lifestyle refered to as kink?
By people that live this lifestyle to the fullest, it is NOT KINK. It is a lifestyle.
And, why are there so many people within the lifestyle that do refer to it as kink? ( ohh well, I guess we could refer to VANILLA as kink).

rose442

I can not speak for anyone else, but when speaking about myself, I always refer to it as only kink. It is not a lifestyle for me; just something that I like to indulge in as often as possible.

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 4:09:44 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		I think my signature says it all for me. LOL

I like using the words kink, kinky, pervert, perv, slut, deviant...what have you. They make me smile, and I don't have any negative association with them.

I don't take labels very seriously. Especially those related to sex. Life is too short to get my panties in a bunch over words, when I have a drawer-full of perfectly good thongs to do the trick.



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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 5:03:26 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		you're not alone...one of my biggest pet peeves in this lifestyle is when people refer to it, or the people within it, as "kinky". while clinically speaking the definition may be accurate at least in reference to sexuality, i have a problem with it because 1. this is not simply my sex life...it is my LIFE, period. and 2. the word kinky has a very light, non-serious connotation...as in the term, "kinky fun", or "this is just my kink". well, that just doesn't apply to my life or the way i view this lifestyle, or the way i view Dominance and submission in general. it is not a kink, it is not fun and games and playtime on the weekends. it's who i am...day in, day out, since the day i was born and til the day i die. it's having the freedom to be myself truly and have the potential for fulfillment and happiness like the rest of the world seeks. it is NOT my kink.


quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

Why is this lifestyle refered to as kink?
By people that live this lifestyle to the fullest, it is NOT KINK. It is a lifestyle.
And, why are there so many people within the lifestyle that do refer to it as kink? ( ohh well, I guess we could refer to VANILLA as kink).

rose442

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 5:45:07 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I dont't use labels, I'm just me, and I'm having fun doing it.

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 6:20:58 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Labels are an invitation to play semantic games.

'Kink' is a reference to not being straight.

'Straight' in this context is a reference to allowing one's fun/sex/pleasure to be rigidly and externally defined and limited to what is considered normal.

And 'Normal' can imply average.

Go ahead and use any and all labels if you feel they work for you.



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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 6:29:50 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		People are individual. What to one is a lifestyle, to another is kink, to another is evil and perverted. There is no one true way to practice bdsm, s/m, D/s or M/s etc., nor is there one true way to refer to it or describe it. It's whatever it is for you and whatever fits and works for you. If it's not kink to you fine, but if to others it is kink that doesn't mean they're wrong and you're right or vice versa.

edited to add that this is not in response to the previous poster but rather my response to the thread and OP and my general viewpoint. 

< Message edited by SweetSarijane -- 6/9/2006 6:31:44 PM >

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 6:54:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I do it all.  Sorry but I don't choose- I'm kinky AND I live a full lifestyle.

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:02:55 PM   
MrrPete


Posts: 614
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		Kink (sexual) From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 Kink is a term used to refer to unconventional sexual practices such as bondage, domination and submission, and sadomasochism (known collectively as BDSM), and sexual fetishism. It is important to note that the definition of what is and is not kinky can be quite subjective. People who are sexually conservative may consider anything other than monogamous sex within a private bedroom to be kinky.

The opposite is also true; someone who enjoys spanking may feel that this activity is not kinky. Someone who is "into kinks" is also referred to as being kinky. A kinkster is a friendly term used in the BDSM community to refer to someone else who also participates in BDSM activities. The Internet has had an enormous impact on facilitating communication among kinky people and bringing them together as well as raising awareness of kinks among those who would have otherwise never been exposed to them. This new awareness has begun to change the definition of what's kinky.

I think that about covers the whole spectrum.

Mr. Pete

< Message edited by MrrPete -- 6/9/2006 7:04:39 PM >

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:12:22 PM   
Sab


Posts: 325
Joined: 5/2/2006
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I am of the world of kink, my sub is and our life is - kink is kink, who cares other than nilla's?

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:16:49 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

Why is this lifestyle refered to as kink?


Well, it ain't chewing gum causing those pages to stick together.



Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:18:47 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe because for some people (like me) we're trying a life a life, not a 'lifestyle.' Even though I use the term lifestyle because there is a generally agreed up on definition of what it means in these circles the term grates on my nerves and I can barely type it without twitching.  BDSM is part of a full life for me but by no means is it as all encompassing as some 'lifestylers' would like us all to believe it should be.


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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:25:06 PM   
CrescentLuna


Posts: 89
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline 		Not everyone who practices is into it for the lifestyle - and one can call them fakers or whatever, but it remains they liked to be tied up or like pain or like giving someone else pain or tying someone up. Or mentally dominating or being dominated. Personally, I haven't found those to be "normal" but maybe your perspective is different. Why do people call someone who isn't into those things "vanilla?" If we're picking at terms. To some people, being in a power-exchange type of relationship is a lifestyle, but being spanked is the "kink" they prefer.
Do you feel that calling it "kinky" trvializing it?

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:25:11 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Well I call it kink because I'm not telepathic and I need words to communicate.

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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:40:28 PM   
lisa1978


Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline 		I think most people who live a D/s or M/s life do not classify the D/s or M/s as kinky in itself, but within the dynamic most practice kinky things and enjoy them.

We all label things. Some maybe constantly others less so but it is there. So kinky is just a label of things people do sexually that is not common in most relationships or sexual encounters. I know many hold the belief that all people are kinky or could be kinky but most truly never are. I just think you can never tell who between family, freinds and coworkers are kinky.

I think kinky encompasses most people in D/s and M/s but a significant lower percentage of the "regular" people.



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RE: Kink???? - 6/9/2006 7:50:01 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		Short answer... linguistic artifact.

In other words its a left over from a period when it probably was mostly about kink, became part of common usage and has simply remained.

Just as we still say things like "he's shell shocked" when in fact this saying came from WW I when it was thought the explosions of artillery shells actually caused nerve damage which was responsible for the associated behaviors.  Later, it was proven no such physical damage occured, but the phrase stuck and is still used and even used in situations that have nothing to do with war, artillery or explosions.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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