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[Poll]

Health decisions

I make the decision

88% (15)

My other makes the decision

11% (2)

Total Votes : 17

(last vote on : 8/26/2012 6:00:13 PM)
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Health decisions - 8/2/2012 1:56:02 PM

JessN

Posts: 8
Joined: 8/1/2012
Status: offline

I have a question for anyone out there both dominant and submissive.

When it comes to the health of the other, do you make the decision or do they? We aren't talking about anything life threatening but things such as quitting smoking, which doctor to go to, when and what to do towards exercise, etc.

Post #: 1

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 1:57:29 PM

Lucifyre

Posts: 1067
Joined: 3/27/2012
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You need to add an option for "we both partake in the decisionmaking process"

Lucifyre

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Post #: 2

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 2:06:32 PM

sheisreeds

Posts: 578
Joined: 7/8/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

You need to add an option for "we both partake in the decisionmaking process"

Lucifyre

Exactly. When we need to intervene with the other, we do. My partner has forced me to stay home sick a few times, when I was just being stupid about it. We have set deadlines on when one another needs to attend appointments. When we need to be we're up each others butts about taking medicine.

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Post #: 3

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 2:18:40 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JessN

I have a question for anyone out there both dominant and submissive.

When it comes to the health of the other, do you make the decision or do they? We aren't talking about anything life threatening but things such as quitting smoking, which doctor to go to, when and what to do towards exercise, etc.

Neither to the degree you've outlined.

I prefer to be in relationships with adults. Adults that take responsibility for themselves.

That being said, IF a slave wants to belong to me there are things that simply will not be allowed. No smoking......PERIOD. Never ever ever EVER! No drug abuse, no alcohol abuse. She will have a healthy diet and exercise, as I determine she needs. If she cannot see the wisdom of my ways, she won't be mine.

Odds are, we won't even be interested in one another if her sense of self responsibility isn't already pretty closely aligned with my thoughts on the matter.

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Post #: 4

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 2:44:28 PM

LanaDeVille

Posts: 209
Status: offline

We both try and take responsibility for each other. I push him to go to the doctor (as he has knee problems), and he'll try to get me to forgo pills if I'm feeling bad and he thinks I've taken too many already.

Why does it have to be one way or the other?

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 5

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 2:55:30 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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I gave up a lot of control to my ex D and it Did Not End Well.

With M, I ~~nag~~ encourage him, but the decisions are his. Statistically, men are substantially less likely to seek preventative care.

Ideally, I'd be in a mutually supportive relationship with someone who shares my lifestyle values.

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Post #: 6

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 3:06:13 PM

TNDommeK

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Pretty much what everyone here has said. I think each of us care about each others health. So here, it is that way.

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Post #: 7

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 3:14:48 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

You need to add an option for "we both partake in the decisionmaking process"

Lucifyre

Yup, because while most of the time he leaves it up to me, there have been times that he has over ridden me.

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Post #: 8

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 4:59:31 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JessN

I have a question for anyone out there both dominant and submissive.

When it comes to the health of the other, do you make the decision or do they? We aren't talking about anything life threatening but things such as quitting smoking, which doctor to go to, when and what to do towards exercise, etc.

He expects me to find a doctor, he expects me to take care of my health but I'm kinda stubborn about this stuff and I usually blow off my health thinking it's really not a major problem.

At that point he takes over and forces me to go to a doctor or hospital or doing what I need to do to fix the problem. And when it gets to that point, I'm usually in deep shit for being stubborn about it.

As for his health, I will make requests and let him know how I feel about something but after that I drop it so that I don't nag him. When he does have appointments though he usually tells me and expects me to remind him.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 8/2/2012 5:02:07 PM >

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Post #: 9

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 6:17:30 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

Depends what the health issue is.

For major decisions, I provide him all the research/information I can, we talk through it as much as possible, and then he decides.

For minor stuff, it's up to me.

Regarding diet, I tend to influence his diet - I'm more "health-nutty" than he is.

Regarding smoking, he has decided I'm not allowed.

Regarding exercise, if anything, he occasionally tells me to stop and rest. I'm a Zumba freak and I wear myself out sometimes.

For the most part it's a collaborative effort. He's always the ultimate decision maker, but many of these conclusions we come to, together.

I've influenced his medical care and health, as well. We take care of each other.

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Post #: 10

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 8:15:20 PM

ShaharThorne

Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline

Depends...I take care of myself and am about to look into this diet that my doctor is endorsing. Half of his staff is on it and they are looking good.

If I need pain pills (I have fibromyalgia), I go and get them.

I 'force' Mom to go to the doctor Monday because she was sick with the crud (blame the grandkids). Got her antibiotics, steroids, cough syrup

Now, if she just leave my nyquil alone...

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Post #: 11

RE: Health decisions - 8/2/2012 10:25:14 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

I hate being in the majority, but I am this time.

When we discuss anything to do with health and safety, the words, "What do you think" and "How do you feel" come up every time. It's mutual respect, that's all there is to it.

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Post #: 12

RE: Health decisions - 8/3/2012 12:16:41 AM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

With us, we are both adults and we both make our own decisions re: our own health. I don't make decisions re: his and he doesn't re: mine. Of course we can discuss things with each other but, in the end, the one whose health is affected is the one making the decision. We each exercise as we see fit, go the doctors we each choose for ourselves and, as for smoking, I just don't get involved with a smoker in the first place.

NBMG

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Post #: 13

RE: Health decisions - 8/3/2012 10:37:04 AM

kitkat105

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/29/2011
From: Eating dutch crunch in the Silicon Valley
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Well, I'm a registered nurse so I sort of like to think I'm qualified to give suggestions regarding health management. However, I certainly appreciate his input and it's very much a mutual decision.

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Post #: 14

RE: Health decisions - 8/3/2012 10:57:06 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

If I'm ill, he expects me to take care of it. If I neglect it and it gets worse, then he gets really pissy about it. He wants me to take care of myself. I have a couple of long-standing medical conditions - nothing major - that he expects me to manage.

Similarly, he has some health issues that he is managing, although I do tend to be the 'voice of reason' to say 'yes, it IS appropriate to go to the doctor with this one' rather than him self-medicate.

Health and fitness wise is another thing altogether. He's trying (and succeeding) to lose weight for health reasons. I've put on a lot of weight in the last year since my dad died. My asthma got out of control and I ended up on steroids, and I also developed lupus. Throw in a bit of depression and...well, let's just say I'm more of a woman than I ever used to be!

He is pushing me to lose weight for my health, and as long as I continue to lose he is happy, even if it's just a pound a week. When I reach my target weight he has promised to buy me a new corset to celebrate, so it's not all negative

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Post #: 15

RE: Health decisions - 8/3/2012 6:04:28 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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A pound a week is a very healthy rate at which to lose weight. I wanted bigger weekly losses when I first started myfitnesspal, but am now very happy with the 20# I've lost in 15 weeks.

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Post #: 16

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