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Falcor64 -> RE: The submissive orgasm (11/27/2004 12:17:57 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hawkins
I would say, regarding women who have problems orgasming, that masturbation is very important.
Every girl I ever been with who masturbated regulary has been multi-orgasmic. Almost all who didn't masturbate regulary didn't, and the less sexual they had been with themselves the harder orgasming was for them.
Actually, you're on a good track there. The research is pretty clear that masturbation is related to women's sexual satisfaction. Women who masturbate do report more satisfaction in general in their sex lives. Now there's a question as to which caused what, BUT if you have sex therapy, one of the first techniques is to encourage a person to explore themselves and see what feels good. That's essentially masturbation, though exploration does not have orgasm as a goal.
And I have known women who masturbated regularly, but were not very orgasmic with partners. (Just to add to the data pool :) )
Oh, one other note: a common cause of orgasm problems is "spectatoring." This means that the person is too busy mentally watching events to actually fully experience them. So, during sex, s/he is evaluating their performance, worrying about what their partner thinks, trying to decide what to do next, etc etc. Everything BUT feeling the sensations. This is essentially what was called "ego-stuckness" way back up in this thread. The letting go associated with subbing can help if this is the issue. The key is to focus on the sensations, and not have any "goal" in mind at all. Remember, a watched twat never boils! [8D]
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