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Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there is di... - 8/7/2012 4:22:07 PM   
ScarlettSummers


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		It seems unfair to me that here I can be controlled from far away but what pleasure does a Dom get from it? Satsifaction in knowing?
Sorry if that's a dumb question...I am super new to this.
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 4:25:03 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Most Dominants derive great pleasure from being in control, and distance doesn't diminish that.

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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 4:37:51 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I much prefer playing in person but there's a special rush to making a woman carry out your bidding upon herself.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 4:40:06 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

It seems unfair to me that here I can be controlled from far away


Only if you allow it. Personally, I only give control to men who are local and have met and established chemistry. It sucks to build up a huge long distance fantasy only to have it crash and burn when you finally meet in real life.

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(in reply to ScarlettSummers)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 5:42:42 PM   
ScarlettSummers


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Interesting. Thank you.

(in reply to kalikshama)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 6:57:31 PM   
SpaceSpank


Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline 		There are some who are only into the online fantasy, they never wish to every have any real life association. So for them of course they would be satisfied with online.

For those who wish to have a relationship that goes past it... then they will, at best, only be satisfied with it for a time. They will simply see it as a stepping stone and part of the "getting to know you" part of things.


As kalikshama noted, there is always the danger of getting in VERY deep while online, and then having it fizzle when you meet. It's rather important that both parties be honest about things. If you don't have any web cams at all, then at least take pictures that actually look like you. If you cherry pick them from that awesome party you were at 10 years ago where you looked FABulous.... then chances are things won't go quite according to plan when you meet.

Really that's just one of those dangers you need to be able to accept if you're going to spend a lot of initial time as online only.

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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 8:07:34 PM   
Oklamat


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/31/2012
Status: offline 		I'd be a little careful. It is my hope that you know who this guy actually is. Otherwise, you can find out later that this 'Dom' does not actually exist and everything he told you about himself was a complete lie. Then you are left with an emotional attachment to what boils down to little more than an imaginary friend.
However, I hope it works out much better for you. Just, proceed with a little extra caution is my warning. Good luck.

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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 9:09:21 PM   
SeekerMA


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/4/2012
Status: offline 		What do you mean by unfair? Unfair to you, or unfair to the Dom? In any case, while I'm sure everyone would prefer in person experiences, D/s can actually work quite well over the internet. That is because unlike something like sex, which becomes just masturbation unless the two parties are in the same room, orders can be given and carried out at any time, without being constrained by distance. The only issue is trust, whether the Dom can trust the sub to carry out commands and tell about it honestly. But that can be gotten around with taking pictures or figuring out some other means of proof, or even by simply having a strong enough connection that the two of you trust each other to be fully honest. Though obviously building up that connection is a hard and time consuming process.

(in reply to Oklamat)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 10:30:54 PM   
Magnus32169


Posts: 11
Joined: 6/11/2011
Status: offline 		I agree wholeheartedly with kalikshama. Distance allows two persons to fit each other into their perfect ideals, and oftentimes the person's reality and the other person's ideal image are inversely related to each other, and exacerbated by time...

(in reply to poise)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/7/2012 10:59:07 PM   
ScarlettSummers


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Great points.
Unfair to the Dom was my meaning.

I do have a webcam..I actually ventured into the Cam Chat thing....that was interesting.

Now I am stuck with the question of what do I *really* want. I love the intensity of the online thing but the fear of meeting offline and having it fall apart scares me.
I guess it's all a part of the online meeting formula. There must be a fine line to walk with not getting too intense before meeting. Maybe that is the ground I need to stand on to keep everyone from being hurt.

There used to be this great club in San Diego. I can't remember the name of it but I really wished I had taken more advantage of their "Alternative Nights". I went once and I was in awe of the whole thing. So many like minded people around. So you went knowing you were going to meet the alternative crowd. I remember having so much fun but never did go back. What I would not do for that club right about now.

(in reply to Magnus32169)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 1:50:30 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		For some people, "distance relationships" are the only option. For example, me. I live in Asia. While it may be true that there is a scene here, the people are too young for my taste and I have next to nothing in common with them. I'm really not interested in being involved with them in that way. It actually creeps me out - not because of their age so much as their stage in life. Yeah. I've been there, done that - 20 years ago. The waygooken who are here (non-Koreans) are mostly military men who will be here only a year (and many are married). That doesn't work for me. And if they aren't military, they have yellow fever. So what's a gal to do?

It's not that distance play is the perfect solution, but it is sometimes the only thing realistically available. I need to be here for certain other reasons, and that means I have to sacrifice this *for the time being*.

As to - some folks are only in it for fantasy. I think that's a perfectly plausible and acceptable thing. I love to read bodice rippers, but I certainly don't think that some hot Scot in a kilt is going to grab me and throw me on the back of his horse and turn me into his favorite lass. (much to my chagrin). There are people who do fantasy role play around that. Not a thing wrong with it. Lots of people do lots of fantasy things - war re-enactors, Comic-con attendees, heck even when you go to a costume party, you're acting out a fantasy. Why should there be a thing wrong with this being fantasy only?

Best,
sunshine

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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 6:47:51 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I do have a webcam..I actually ventured into the Cam Chat thing....that was interesting.


I'd possibly cam if I was temporarily separated from someone with whom I had a real life relationship, but I would never cam in the getting to know someone stage. I'm not judging exhibitionism - I want a real life relationship and it's been my experience that men who want to jump into an intense online things are not interested in RL.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to ScarlettSummers)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 8:39:49 AM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		Work within your means, and if merited think long term. That's true for you and for the Dom. My girl and I are LD; we eventually arranged to meet and both of us had a wonderful time. We have a committed relationship and she wears my collar. We have discussed longer term goals and we agree on what we want to do; the how and when will develop when other considerations are made.

If the stage you are at right now only allows for online interaction, then it is what it is. The Dom knows what he's getting into as well (or ought to); and if you have open communication you can go over what you both want now, and later.

Have fun, be happy, play safe.

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There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 8:42:16 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there is distance?


How large is his cock?

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(in reply to RemoteUser)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 9:08:48 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScarlettSummers

It seems unfair to me that here I can be controlled from far away but what pleasure does a Dom get from it? Satsifaction in knowing?
Sorry if that's a dumb question...I am super new to this.


For ME, there is very little pleasure, if any. I need a warm body, to actually see and know for a fact that the person is who they say they are and doing what they say they are. Quite honestly, I don't trust someone saying or writing a bunch of words. The way I communicate with people is very multi faceted and just words, won't cut it. Even if I can manage to get interested, knowing that is all there is, frustrates me.

I need a real, honest to god, living breathing body, within physical reach. She has to want to serve me, not just follow (or pretend to follow) some random kinky instructions I've typed or spoken. The control aspect is hot, but for me it's a given. It's what that control actually creates in the real physical world, in MY world, that matters.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ScarlettSummers)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 3:00:55 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScarlettSummers

It seems unfair to me that here I can be controlled from far away but what pleasure does a Dom get from it? Satsifaction in knowing?
Sorry if that's a dumb question...I am super new to this.


If it's completely cyber with never meeting the person face to face, I don't understand what anyone could possibly get out of it. However, if you both are still meeting face to face every few weeks or so then I can understand it because there could be followup as to what you've done while not being with him.

When Master and I were long distance, he would give me orders to follow but he trusted me to do just that without him having to ask or show him because we have a completely open and transparent relationship. He knows when something is wrong or I am not telling him everything just from the sound of my silence. I think it is the power he has over me whether in person or online is what he got from it. But if we were just cyber and had never met in person, we both would have become bored and walked on.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 6:21:53 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ScarlettSummers

It seems unfair to me that here I can be controlled from far away but what pleasure does a Dom get from it? Satsifaction in knowing?
Sorry if that's a dumb question...I am super new to this.


What he gets out of it is some hot fantasies to think about while he's jerking off. Even better for him if you go on cam and he gets to see you naked and horny. Some guys like doing that so much they'll pay for it on sex sites, so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise that they'll enjoy getting it for free from you.

Also, a lot of people that do online-only are married, and this is their way of fulfilling their kinky desires without actually sleeping around. I guess in their minds it doesn't "count" as cheating.

(in reply to ScarlettSummers)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 8:06:51 PM   
CRYPTICLXVI


Posts: 3907
Status: offline 		Satisfied? Well, if you are looking for online only, then yes, I suppose so...

Still, I was not looking and yet have found someone who I have a close connection, resonance with who happens to live quite far away. Not close enough to make for a three day weekend and I am not currently in a situation where flying out, even monthly is an option. Still, I am getting to know her, am talking with her on the phone quite a lot. We email as well. Am I satisfied? No... waiting until the opportunity to meet is quite annoying. On the other hand, this is not an online fantasy for either of us, the conversations range from what each of us have done that day, to what our goals are, our past experiences, what we believe, etc. Essentially the things which people talk about when they first meet. When they get to know each other... though probably more time spent on the phone and writing emails than if we could just meet for dinner, go have coffee, whatever.

I do know, that though this is not a process that I would willingly choose, I have no regrets for what we are going through... she appears to be a good match.

I realize that this is not the reasoning behind your question and yes, I would prefer that we were closer geographically, still, distance happens when communication can be global and pretty fucking much instant.

Cryptic

(in reply to graceadieu)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/8/2012 8:26:11 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		Someone who I actually respect who allows me "control" over them is demonstrating they have some level of respect for me. I groove on respect.. Especially the earned kind. In the end, I get the same thing from it as I do from controlling Carol just less-so.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to ScarlettSummers)
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RE: Is it possible for a Dom ot be satsified if there i... - 8/9/2012 10:55:27 PM   
AVegasMaster


Posts: 119
Joined: 8/2/2010
Status: offline 		The important thing is the control. There is a lot to be said for "hands on," but dominating room a distance can be satisfying.

(in reply to ScarlettSummers)
Profile   Post #: 20
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