What makes you obey? (Full Version)

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Karnikula -> What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:26:34 PM)

I've never been known to ask simple questions.

Edit: If D-type: what makes your s-type obey ?
Edit#2: WHY do you / does your s-type obey ?



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:28:10 PM)

It pleases me to obey.

I've (actually) been known to give simple answers.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:30:57 PM)

They obey because that's what I require, and it pleases me when I get what I require.



LadyPact -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:32:37 PM)

He obeys because it is a requirement of the dynamic. If he would wish not to obey, he needs a different Dominant.



Karnikula -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:32:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

They obey because that's what I require, and it pleases me when I get what I require.


And why would they be so inclined to do so? While it'd please me greatly if everyone did as I required, such is not the case.

edit @ LP: so obeying you is something he does out of necessity to profit from other things you do for him? And the dynamic itself is more important than the people involved ?



CRYPTICLXVI -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:32:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

They obey because that's what I require, and it pleases me when I get what I require.

...and shown chocolate.



SlipSlidingAway -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:34:41 PM)

Actually, it's a pretty simple answer, though- at least for me.  I obey because it's in my best interest to do so.  It's true whether I am obeying the speed limit (it's in my best interest not to pay a speeding fine or cause an accident), obeying nature (not touching a flame, as it's in my best interest not to get burned), or obeying a person within the confines of a relationship.  The last one is a bit trickier, I admit, as it has everything to do with who I am obeying, or even if I will obey.  But, when it's in my best interest to do so, I do it.  It could be out of respect, his position of authority, or because it's something that simply needs to be done in terms of making life easier, better, or more harmonious (his and mine). 



LadyHibiscus -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:36:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

They obey because that's what I require, and it pleases me when I get what I require.

...and shown chocolate.


Coconut, raspberry, and lemon also please me. Blueberries, too. I confess that I am easily pleased by sweets and berries.



BambiBoi -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:39:06 PM)

I haven't always been a submissive type. I suspect, when I top, the obedience comes from wanting to relinquish control. It is often coupled with "I like to make other people happy, and him having control makes him happy, so I am happy." But I don't believe it's always 100% selfless. The bottom is freed from obligation, from responsibility, and many times from having to think. That freedom is a drug-like high.

Why do I submit and obey? Just for the taste of it.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:41:31 PM)

Ah, you edited your question after I answered.

Too simple for you?

I obey b/c that is the relationship dynamic I agreed to. To not obey would be betraying that dynamic and lacking in personal integrity. So even when I don't especially want to, I obey.

Now, the question of why I agreed to this particular dynamic is quite complex and having to do with he and I. He is a great dominant to my specific type of very switchy submissive. Time has show we work well as a unit w/p compromising each other's individuality.

Win/win.




LadyHibiscus -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:48:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

They obey because that's what I require, and it pleases me when I get what I require.


And why would they be so inclined to do so? While it'd please me greatly if everyone did as I required, such is not the case.

edit @ LP: so obeying you is something he does out of necessity to profit from other things you do for him? And the dynamic itself is more important than the people involved ?



Because they entered into a d/s dynamic with me, and that's how that works. Or they aren't in a formal dynamic, but are devoted to me and want to please me. If they're an employee, because doing what I need them to do is part of the job description.




subpnw -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:50:24 PM)

Most people who know me don't know about my submissive side and in fact would be quite surprised that it is the core of my being. All my life I have challenged authority often pushing the limit to the edge but knowing just when to stop (so far) after succeeding in making my point. Despite that, I was taught to obey at a young age by an older man who brought out my submissive side, but I think it was always there. At any rate it is still with me now and when i find someone who can Dominate me (which is harder to find the older I get) it always seems like the right place to be.



kitkat105 -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:56:57 PM)

I obey due to a combination of warm fuzzies and seeing His reaction. [:)]



JeffBC -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 1:57:49 PM)

So again with the clarification that I am not talking about the "by agreement" model of D/s but rather the social model then I'd broaden this to "what makes humans obey other humans?"

Dominance & submission: Yup, I believe these are their own quantifiable things and I think they matter more than any other attribute in most cases.
Aligned self interest: It's a lot easier to get someone to obey when they believe it will be good for them to do so.

I'd say that about sums it up for Carol and I personally also. Obviously, our self interests are aligned... we're married and happily so. After that, the only real reason she obeys me not some other random arrangement is that I happen to be the dominant one.



Kana -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 2:12:42 PM)

She obeys because it pleases me.



Endivius -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 2:37:51 PM)

I imagine because it makes us both happy.



BambiBoi -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 2:40:31 PM)

Since you broaden the question, I broaden the answer.

Serotonin and Dopamine.



Karnikula -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 2:44:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

Since you broaden the question, I broaden the answer.

Serotonin and Dopamine.


And what in obeying creates those dinosaurs ?
What makes you think or feel "oh I want to obey to get my dinosaurs" ?



LadyPact -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 3:03:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula
edit @ LP: so obeying you is something he does out of necessity to profit from other things you do for him? And the dynamic itself is more important than the people involved ?

Frankly..... Yes.

Keep something in mind. We are not the majority of power exchange people out there. We absolutely are dynamic first. We started as a service based dynamic, rather than one that was mixed with a vanilla relationship. Think of us as the opposite of Jeff and Carol. They loved each other for a number of years before incorporating a power exchange dynamic. We established a power exchange dynamic and then added the element of love between owner and property. Where Jeff and Carol would still be in love with each other if they dropped the dynamic, clip and I wouldn't work that way. We built this thing on the foundation of the dynamic.

At the same time, not all obedience is based in requirement. The boy honestly does want to obey. That's the pleasing Me part. He sincerely wants to do that and wants to make Me happy. There is also the part that says one will not always enjoy obeying and they do it purely because it is their job to submit. The concept of obedience is very much like the concept of acceptance. You may not like everything in life that you must accept, but you accept those things because you have no choice and it is just life on life's terms. Obedience is the active form of this, where acceptance is the passive.




JeffBC -> RE: What makes you obey? (8/9/2012 3:09:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karnikula
And what in obeying creates those dinosaurs ? What makes you think or feel "oh I want to obey to get my dinosaurs" ?

If you can answer those two questions then you have a great paper that needs to be published. The actual science on this bit of biochemistry is lagging well behind the popular press. We missed oxytocin and testosterone in the list also. In the end, we are all biochemical machines. We're just a long way from really understanding how the machine works.



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