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Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 1:51:24 PM   
traveler1981


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Hello,

My girlfriend and I (we switch with each other) have been discussing going to a pro-Domme that would dominate us both (though my instincts say I'll definitely end up being placed below my gf on the sub totem pole).

Neither of us have ever seen a professional and I'm unsure what questions to ask the pro-Dommes I've seen advertised in our city (Phoenix) about seeing a couple. Any recommendations?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 1:56:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		You're the ones paying, it's up to you to be VERY SPECIFIC about what you want. That doesn't mean hand her a script, but if you have any HELL NO items on your list, make them clear. As to questions, ask about the location, safety, her experience, all the stuff you might ask anyone who's providing you a service.

If you don't click with the first person, go on to the next one.

Is there some reason that you're not just making pals at APEX or something?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to traveler1981)
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RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 2:04:32 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I would definitely made sure I was clear about your hard limits. I would also be open about things you are willing to explore.

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RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 2:12:29 PM   
ElleStClaire


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/17/2011
Status: offline 		Hello,
I really have too much to say about this but I'll try to keep it brief and to the point.
I do Pro-Domme work. Everyone works differently and you may need to either place an ad or ask who you contact to see if they will see couples.
You may also want to look up dungeons or groups in your area - I know there are some.
Rates will vary as well as if a solo/individual session or a session with couples - some Dommes charge per session, per person, etc. (I do)

As far as questions, I'd much prefer and find it easier to tell you what NOT to ask.. basically do not ever mention sex or sexual acts (period)
Some Dommes are very sexual, others want nothing to do with that at all. Regardless, no one can ever be compensated for sex (another period) so don't even ask.
That is a much disputed hardcore division line in the BDSM community (few ever agree)

You may be asked and offer to tell your limits, give basic ideas f what you enjoy or how you like to serve, etc.
The Domina wil most likely take charge and ask you questions.

Also keep in mind, trust and a D/s relationship is built, not created or produced like an event.
The better people know each other, the better the experience.
Hope I could help a little,
Elle

(in reply to traveler1981)
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RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 2:28:31 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Actually they are a couple, so anything sexual happening between them would be OK as there is no money exchange between the couple...

As for being in Phoenix, I have heard that Porsche Lynn is absolutely superb and great with couples, I'd give her a try.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ElleStClaire)
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RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 2:29:36 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Is she still working, she's fab!

And.... it's a real grey area if anyone has any of the sexy times when money is involved, unless of course they're shooting a porno.

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RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 2:48:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		What a great way to explore as a couple! Claudia Varrin discusses the advantages of using a pro in such situations in her books. This could be a great way to go!

I am not a pro, but I would have to think that negotiations and what you would like to have happen during the scene wouldn't be all that different than lifestyle top/bottom scenes. What would you like to do? Are there certain things that you would like to experience? Do you want the top to have a certain role (disciplinarian, etc) for your time together?

Lots of possibilities here. I hope you have a fantastic time in your endeavors.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 2:52:10 PM   
ElleStClaire


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/17/2011
Status: offline 		I don't want to hijack this thread at all.. but want to elaborate a bit more only because laws are different everywhere and a few dungeons I was involved with got raided on "BS" charges (it was political, not legal)
But anyway.. LadyHibiscus and LadyConstanze are both technically correct, however .. the main rule is anyone can have sex to any degree as long as there is no compensation involved - and that doesn't only mean money.. it means anything of value. I chose to have sex (to whatever degree) during a lot of sessions just because that's my nature.. BUT any time anyone even mentions it before I'm actually hired and paid, I decline seeing them. I'm not a whore, just kinky and horny.. and sometimes like for subs to cum in their pants and go home - lol.. anyway.. sorry.. getting off topic..

a few suggestions about wording.. it's ok to say "I have an interest in toys", or "I'm cuckold", or "a Voyeur", or "I'd love to surrender control and serve" etc.. those are all getting the message across, but not crossing the line..
Staying in the gray means that you're Not in the Red :)

Porche Lynn is a great referral.. (excellent reputation, experienced, etc)

Also, and I don't keep lists or anything, but do searches here using key words and your location to find members.. drop them a note and ask for a reference or referral..
I'm trying to remember where I came across the dungeons in Phoenix, what site, what their name is, etc and I can't remember.. (sorry)

There is nothing wrong with hiring someone, like someone else said above.. pros offer a service (well, at least real pros) some are just hacks so you definitely want to check out reputations :)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 3:17:28 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Porsche Lynn seems to be still active, DOIAZ.com, giving her a call might be an idea...

Lady D'Sherrie would get an absolute recommendation as well, but she relocated from Phoenix to LA...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to ElleStClaire)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 6:20:30 PM   
traveler1981


Posts: 2
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		Hi,

Thanks for all your responses. We haven't gotten much involved in the local community, partially because we're busy, and partially that we aren't completely comfortable with it yet.

I think seeing a professional would allow us to compartmentalize the emotional experience more than playing with someone that we have a pre-existing relationship with. We're definitely approaching this with a "do no harm" to our own relationship perspective.

I think Porshe Lynne is down Tucson, or at least she was last time I checked. Worth thinking about though.

I have been looking for Domme reviews that were written about couple's sessions, or just stories, fictional or otherwise, about a couple going to a pro-domme with limited success. Any suggestions on where to find those?

I like seeing how I react internally to reading/hearing about other's experiences before I request them myself (especially if they are costing $$.)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 6:37:18 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Www.maxfisch.com has reviews, but of course take them with a grain of salt...or maybe a whole cupful.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 6:37:22 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		You're thinking about Karen von Kroft, she's in Tucson, Porsche Lynn is in Scottsdale, I'm not all that often in Phoenix but I was always under the impression that Scottsdale and Phoenix kinda overlap, the same metro area.

As for reviews, I don't think couples are as keen to write reviews as single men, so that is a bit difficult to find. I can tell you from my own experience that it only really works if both partners are on the same page, that is why the domme most likely will insist on speaking with your gf separately, to find out if you aren't pushing her into this, because that really really can go pear shaped. It's also really important that you both are happy with the domme you are picking, no jealousy issues and such.

Couples aren't something a pro domme sees very often, for obvious reasons, so it's also a bit of treat, especially if the chemistry is right, it's actually a lot more common that couples come so that the wife learns to dominate the husband than actually a session together, let's say it does add a lot of spice and because it's a professional environment, the boundaries are also clear, it's easier for the wife or gf to relax because she doesn't have to worry about somebody trying to get into the relationship.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to traveler1981)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 6:41:34 PM   
pyschosubmission


Posts: 1109
Joined: 7/6/2012
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline
quote:

Thanks for all your responses. We haven't gotten much involved in the local community, partially because we're busy, and partially that we aren't completely comfortable with it yet.


I can't advocate enough that you should go to munches :) I was slightly apprehensive before I went to my first one last month, in hindsight that was utterly foolish. I've met some wonderful people and the atmosphere at every event I've been to has universally been friendly and welcoming!

Give it a go :D

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/9/2012 7:19:21 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Again, going off of what I have read in Claudia Varrin's books. The benefit of booking a session with a pro is that there isn't a preestablished relationship and no commitment for follow up. Like it, don't like it, want to do other stuff???? You are not beholden in the client/pro situation. This may not especially be the same for a lifestyle Domme/top.

Once you have an idea of what you like, then you can deal with a female friend.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to pyschosubmission)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Couple seeing a pro-Domme - 8/14/2012 6:32:15 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: traveler1981

Hello,

My girlfriend and I (we switch with each other) have been discussing going to a pro-Domme that would dominate us both (though my instincts say I'll definitely end up being placed below my gf on the sub totem pole).

Neither of us have ever seen a professional and I'm unsure what questions to ask the pro-Dommes I've seen advertised in our city (Phoenix) about seeing a couple. Any recommendations?


Now that is just over the top hot!

(in reply to traveler1981)
Profile   Post #: 15
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