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Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/9/2012 10:16:33 PM

ToyOfRhamnusia

Posts: 99
Joined: 8/4/2012
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Having browsed a bit on the site, I don't feel this introduction any easier... There are all kinds of people here, and I don't see much I can related to directly, as to classifying what I am and what I am looking for for. Maybe some experienced people can add some insight or suggestions also...

I am married and owned by my mistress. We have a notarized relationship agreement that species her powers. I love her and have no interest in leaving her. But we have a problem we agree to try to solve in a way that might be possible, offensive, outrageous, stupid, or whatever - all subject to individual judgment.

The problem: I have an insatiable appetite/craving for pleasing women and being used to worship their bodies - and she has, due to mainly health issues, very limited interest in using me to please her, other than for pain relief - which I do because of humane reasons, not because I enjoy being reminded of her pain.

The solution we see: Find another Domme (or several?), who would like to take part-time ownership of me and use me for their own pleasure when they have time to take care of that. Mistress wants me to identify candidates for her to approve. She wants them as her friends, and she has given me the right to veto a choice of hers I did not suggest myself, if it involves more than casual encounters (which we define as "more than a week-end per month").

In a way I am thrilled and honored about her care for me - but I am also extremely unsure about how to go about this, other than starting out honestly explaining the situation, and what we are looking for. Obviously, it is a Domme who has only limited time for a D/s relationship, but wants to enjoy that time fully when she has it. Maybe those are just a bit more common than unicorns? I hope so...

Anyway, posting this makes sense when the purpose is to solicit advice and comments that possibly could help us achieve this (hopefully not quite impossible) goal.

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Toy of Rhamnusia

- Freedom includes the right to choose to enter into a contract that strips you of all rights...

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/9/2012 10:23:25 PM

Shininglight23

Posts: 1336
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Welcome to the discussion side of CM.

I wish you luck in your search.

-Allie

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 7:23:08 AM

OohAahMrs

Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
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Hello and welcome, hope you can get satisfied!

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You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 10:21:06 AM

MissToYouRedux

Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
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Leaving the wife outside the equation, I really doubt that dominant women who will accept needing approval from another dominant and being in a secondary position would be any more common to find than unicorns, lol, but looking can't hurt. Welcome and good luck.

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 10:23:38 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

Hello and welcome.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 10:35:28 AM

Delilya

Posts: 4108
Joined: 2/2/2011
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good luck

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 10:49:24 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ToyOfRhamnusia
The problem: I have an insatiable appetite/craving for pleasing women and being used
to worship their bodies - and she has, due to mainly health issues, very limited
interest in using me to please her, other than for pain relief - which I do because of
humane reasons, not because I enjoy being reminded of her pain.

The solution we see: Find another Domme (or several?), who would like to take part-time
ownership of me and use me for their own pleasure when they have time to take
care of that. Mistress wants me to identify candidates for her to approve. She wants them
as her friends, and she has given me the right to veto a choice of hers I did not suggest myself,
if it involves more than casual encounters (which we define as "more than a week-end per month")..

I come away from this thinking you are looking more for a Top or a Switch as opposed
to a Domme, because it seems the only thing lacking in your relationship are your physical cravings.
I imagine it could be a little awkward for you to try and attract someone on your own, and
then have them submit to inspection by your Mistress. However, it isn't impossible.

I would suggest another great resource for finding someone is get involved in the lifestyle community
by attending munches, and/or events in your area. It's more likely that, through networking with
others that are local to you, you both can find someone that may be just the ticket!

Try googling bdsm and your city to see if you can come up with any events nearby, or try Fetlife,
which is another website that has group and event information. Best of luck.

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 11:02:29 AM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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Welcome! Your situation is a tough one, but not impossible. I second getting involved with your local community. Worst case scenario...pro domme. And good on ya for serving with pain relief. As someone with long-term pain issues, a partner's help with this is invaluable.

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 7:39:06 PM

ToyOfRhamnusia

Posts: 99
Joined: 8/4/2012
Status: offline

Thanks for the welcome everyone - and thanks for the tips. They more or less confirm my dreaded fears, but also reassure me that I am not completely off into the unrealistic, although I know I am close....

Top, switch, Domme? - I am not really certain about what exactly the difference would be...

About serving with pain relief, then I could not deny it. But there is a big difference between helping your partner suffer less and providing enjoyable pleasure for her. It is not the same thing. Just as drinking water won't still your hunger.

Yeah, Pro Dommes have been discussed between us - but quite seriously: I have tried that in my young days, and I don't get much from that. They don't allow their customers to truly please them - other than with money. And that gives me nothing, emotionally.

Sure, local communities are good avenues to pursue - and it is being done. Just some devilish driving time involved that make one-day visits impossible... Driving 8-9 hours for a 2 hour munch is not always an easy decision when there is absolutely nothing that promises it won't be a waste of gas and time...

Anyway, I still appreciate the comments.

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/10/2012 10:36:47 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ToyOfRhamnusia

About serving with pain relief, then I could not deny it. But there is a big difference between helping your partner suffer less and providing enjoyable pleasure for her. It is not the same thing. Just as drinking water won't still your hunger.

My dear, having pain relief provided IS enjoyable pleasure. Just because it doesn't make your dick twitch doesn't mean it isn't what's truly needed by your wife. So, this is really all about you and your dick/tongue or something, not about service.

quote:

Yeah, Pro Dommes have been discussed between us - but quite seriously: I have tried that in my young days, and I don't get much from that. They don't allow their customers to truly please them - other than with money. And that gives me nothing, emotionally.

You can't f*ck them or stick your tongue in them. And there's a reason for that...namely, she could go to jail for prostitution. Stop calling it 'service' and 'truly pleasing her'. You have sexual needs that are not being met. Why don't you just call a spade a spade? As for getting nothing emotionally...maybe you're not supposed to. You are married, after all. Your emotions belong her, not a pro or a surrogate.

quote:

Sure, local communities are good avenues to pursue - and it is being's done. Just some devilish driving time involved that make one-day visits impossible... Driving 8-9 hours for a 2 hour munch is not always an easy decision when there is absolutely nothing that promises it won't be a waste of gas and time...

You know OP, I had a lot of empathy for your first post. Now I think you're pegging the whineometer. You have an excuse for why every suggestion made won't work for you. Sure, maybe you'll strike out at the munch...this time. But the folks you meet there might know a friend of a friend...see how that works? Make your wife comfortable in the car and take her with you...make a little getaway trip out of it. That way no matter how the munch turns out both of you can spend some quality time together.

Dude. There are no guarantees in life; I'm sure your wife didn't plan on having chronic pain just to frustrate you. Count yourself feckin' lucky she's giving you the go-ahead to dip your wick elsewhere.

quote:

Anyway, I still appreciate the comments.

Uh huh. Best of luck to both of you.

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/12/2012 9:41:50 PM

ToyOfRhamnusia

Posts: 99
Joined: 8/4/2012
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Well, I don't think this leads anywhere - I am obviously not good enough at expressing myself so well that I am not being kicked into some established stereo-type I didn't know about and do not feel I can relate to. I see a big difference between whining and trying to explain facts pertaining to issues that were raised; it certainly wasn't meant as criticism of the advice. I understand the points raised; although I do not agree with all of them, I see no advantage for anyone in debating them.

Thanks again for the comments. I will rest the case.

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/13/2012 6:20:15 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Fella, there is no way that you'll get that online. There are too many women earning good money providing the sessions that you want for free. And to make Dommes jump through hoops for.

Why not just get out into the local community? Meet folks, chat, and one day you may find someone you both approve of. That's how my sub and I meet other spanking friends.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/13/2012 6:25:39 AM

JhonP

Posts: 83
Joined: 7/5/2012
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Just relax there is no shortage of dripping cunts on this site, most alleging dominance however know only what they learned watching Jerry Springer.

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RE: Male toy looking for mature female co-owner - 8/13/2012 6:30:08 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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OP, I had to have a look at your location. You may want to have another look regarding that eight or nine hour drive to get to the local munch.

It seems you are looking for a once a month fuck buddy. Nothing wrong with that, but most gals are going to go for the young, good looking types for that. For Me, if it was just about sport fucking, I'd be going for the most delicious eye candy I could see.

Best of luck in your search.

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