RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (Full Version)

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sexyred1 -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 4:28:55 PM)

I cannot even imagine a relationship where someone had to write down what is expected of us.

Contracts are for employment or legal issues, not relationships.



littlewonder -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 4:35:28 PM)

The ex Dom and I had a written contract.

It was worthless and was simply used to hold everything over my head and caused us much arguing and fighting.




crazyml -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 4:41:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
When bringing a partner into your life, do you have a manifesto, a clear agenda for them?


Hmmm... I think in the context of "manifesto" the answer has to be "no".

Sure, I have goals but to describe them as a "manifesto" seems a little too much.

quote:



Do you write it up?


Fuck no.

The closest I'd get to a "manifesto" would be my profile text (which is currently hidden - so I suppose I have no manifesto right now).

Manifestos and books of procedures are simply not how I would choose (or desire) to manage my relationship.

Plainly, if they work for someone else, then all power to them - But to me, in my own very personal circumstances, a manifesto or list of procedures would seem a lot like taking this shit wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too seriously.




SylvereApLeanan -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 4:42:49 PM)

~FR~

I don't have a manifesto as you've described it. However, I do come with an instruction manual that covers the basics of how to have a successful relationship with me.



crazyml -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 4:42:59 PM)

Yeah, that's how I feel about it personally.

Not that people who are very into protocol etc aren't perfectly entitled to be so.



LadyPact -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 4:57:44 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
As far as a manifesto goes, it is a "proclamation of intent" which often includes objectives and/or opinions and perspectives.

Example: I am XYZ and my house is XYZ style. We shall strive to reach XYZ life goals and we shall do it with XYZ attitudes because we don't do ABC around here. As a member of my XYZ house you shall get XYZ and together we will take over the world . . . or at least a few counties in Florida.

I wonder if your Master's Manual is anything like the Owner's Manual I plan to write? It's more of a book about methodology, techniques (emotional & physical), philosophy and my perspectives on ownership. I have had a vivacious leather life and writing a book and sharing what I have learned would be an extension of what you said about "each one, teach one".
I think we're basically talking about the same thing. It's those ABCs and XYZs that seem to be more alike in content.

By chance, have you happened to read either "Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave" by Dr. Robert Rubel or "Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household" by Machele Kindle (better known as MasterFireMaam)? These are both excellent examples of what I would like to accomplish. Both discuss protocols and methods of the home.

One of the follow up questions was how is a manual different than a contract. I see it as a manual being for the way the home is run and the formal behavior of the slave. The contract is more specific to the relationship. In My mind, there is a difference.




Kaiel -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 5:18:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
As far as a manifesto goes, it is a "proclamation of intent" which often includes objectives and/or opinions and perspectives.

Example: I am XYZ and my house is XYZ style. We shall strive to reach XYZ life goals and we shall do it with XYZ attitudes because we don't do ABC around here. As a member of my XYZ house you shall get XYZ and together we will take over the world . . . or at least a few counties in Florida.

I wonder if your Master's Manual is anything like the Owner's Manual I plan to write? It's more of a book about methodology, techniques (emotional & physical), philosophy and my perspectives on ownership. I have had a vivacious leather life and writing a book and sharing what I have learned would be an extension of what you said about "each one, teach one".
"Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household" by Machele Kindle (better known as MasterFireMaam)?




^^Great book^^ for a Master/Mistress who enjoys protocols and formalities... as I do.



Karmastic -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 10:54:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I have known many Dominant types that have a manifesto. One guy I knew took it to the point where he clearly outlined his goals, policies and procedures written out in a booklet. It was over 100 pages long because he wrote up all the procedures. When taking a partner, I'll write up several pages to put into writing what my relationship and life goals are.

When bringing a partner into your life, do you have a manifesto, a clear agenda for them? Do you write it up?


i don't, and haven't so far. but i think i might consider writing something out next time. not a manifesto or set of rules thought up by me, but a collaborative set of ideas we both agree on. the truth is, i'm a bit hesitant to do that because it doesn't seem natural to me. i'm still deciding.



CRYPTICLXVI -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 10:59:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Kanas manifesto?
One word-suck


This works.



Kana -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 11:15:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Kanas manifesto?
One word-suck


This works.




Works, my ass.[8D]
It's Hemingwayesque in it's elegance, brevity and simplicity.
Eat your heart out, Ernest!



NuevaVida -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 11:24:45 PM)

~ Fast Reply ~

I don't consider it a manifesto, but we did write out a contract (or perhaps better worded - "commitment document") in the recent months. It's a statement of our intentions to each other and our commitment to each other. It is NOT to hold shit over each others heads. It was written out of love, and the process (months) of writing it together resulted in hours and hours of conversation on many awesome topics. The end result was a written understanding of where our relationship is today, and where we'd like to see it go. The entire exercise was very cool.

I used to think negatively about contracts until we began the process of writing ours. It came about because I had forgotten some things and he had forgotten some things and it caused enough problems to almost break us up. So we began with the intention of having something to reference, so we don't forget things (hey we're both getting old, the memory goes) and what happened ended up being a really cool coming together regarding our relationship.


Edited to add: Just wanted to add in here that we are not at all high protocol and actually pretty easy going most of the time. The process of writing our document was basically two people hanging out in the living room, laughing, talking, paperwork all over the place, laptop out, sipping wine, and really delving into what each of us thought about various relationship topics. Then ending with us printing it, signing it, and him saying "Now you're contracted to me" and us kissing.....

Really nothing rigid or cold about that. [:)]



SeekerMA -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 11:28:40 PM)

I don't have a manifesto, or anything of the sort, and to be totally honest, I fail to see what the point of one would be. Is it a journal, to track progress and thoughts? Is it a rulebook, to consult whenever gray areas are stumbled upon? Is it a how-to/training guide for a new submissive to memorize as though she is an employee at some job? In all of these cases, I fail to see the point.

I don't like having such rigid structures and rules. Laws are needed for a society, because there are far too many people in it to decide things case by case. But relationships are organic and personal, and that's the way I like for them to be. I never kept any journals or diaries or anything, and I don't intend to start. BDSM is just a facet of my life, and no different from any other thing. I keep my ideas and rules in my head, because that way I have the perfect mechanism for identifying when I have accumulated too much excess nonsense--I simply forget it. This can cause problems, of course, when actual important things are forgotten, and uncertainty can creep in. But I'd much rather have that than suck the soul out of my relationship by trying to codify it.

But maybe I'm missing something in this manifesto thing. Do the rest of you mean something else by it? Or if you don't, would you care to explain why you find it necessary or useful?



CRYPTICLXVI -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/13/2012 11:33:51 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI


quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Kanas manifesto?
One word-suck


This works.




Works, my ass.[8D]
It's Hemingwayesque in it's elegance, brevity and simplicity.
Eat your heart out, Ernest!


Throw in a bit of Hunter S Thompson gonzo and Ralph Steadman drawings and it would be everything that those writing pages would be seeking...



sunshinemiss -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/14/2012 3:30:36 AM)

You know... I remember when I realized I was in love. He was (is still I presume) Catholic, I am VERY MUCH not. I realized I would gladly change religions for him. That was a shocker! And then I realized I would change just about anything for him. My motto became basically this:

1. Keep him happy.
2. Make sure I don't disappear in that.

That was it. Everything else was simple and flowed from those two things. Every decision after that realization was based on those two things. I LOVED how simple my life became. I no longer had to fret over anything.



littlewonder -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/14/2012 11:29:41 AM)

Exactly. That's why I like Master's rules: serve, obey, be pleasing. Makes like a whole helluva lot easier. No stress, no worries, no wondering what is wrong or right. 3 simple rules. Amazing how much better life can be with those simple rules.



Kana -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/14/2012 12:03:20 PM)

The lilone is being humble. She's the one who came up with the simplicity of Serve, Please and Obey. I just immediately recognized the truth inherent and seized it as my own



Aswad -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/15/2012 10:05:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

When bringing a partner into your life, do you have a manifesto, a clear agenda for them?


Sort of. I have a clear idea of what I would want from an another woman in my life, whether pet, slave, sub, switch or domme, and I have a clear idea of what I would be able and willing to offer in return. I could articulate that in writing if I thought it would be useful. I guess it might be, but I suspect it would just drive a lot of people away, as opposed to explaining these things to them in conversation.

What I do not have, is a clear up-front idea of how an individual will live. That depends on the person. I don't plan out my entire life in advance. Nor do I believe in the idea that a rigid set of rules can adequately govern anything but a computer. I don't intend to govern. I intend to lead. Or share, in the case of a domme in the household.

I enjoy people. Particularly women. A part of this enjoyment comes from their diversity, of both spirit and flesh. I have spoken to women that want an equal relationship, women that want to live at my heels, and women that want to be mere meat. I can find a place for any one of these in my life, and can enjoy each of these possibilities. Although I've never tried, I might even find a place for a man, though I doubt it. In any case, to expect to cover all these variations in a manifesto seems quite a ludicrous proposition.

Don't know if that answers your question.

IWYW,
— Aswad.




doctorgrey -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/15/2012 1:30:51 PM)

Come the Revolution, anyone who present me with a Manifesto will be First Up Against the Wall!

DrG



OsideGirl -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/15/2012 1:52:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
"Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household" by Machele Kindle (better known as MasterFireMaam)?


I've met her in the past and have had several fantastic conversations.



samdarella -> RE: -=Do you have a manifesto?=- (8/15/2012 7:27:32 PM)

Master (ResidentSadist) has explained to me his concept of a manifesto. Its not a rigid set of rules, just a guideline of what is expected in His household. He updates it to reflect his evolving concepts. What worked years ago with His slaves at the time, the house they lived in and economic status would not work now. He wants my input in writing the manifesto to include a mission statement, specific goals, and also a house flag. This will be my first experience with this but i can see the value in it and look forward to the many conversations it will take to develop it. It sounds all formal and strict but truthfully He is not that severe with me.

We will also have a contract specific to us. Again it will not take away the fun or spontaneity of the relationship but will act as a written reminder of what we agreed upon. I trust Him completely and know He would never go back on His word, but our memories are not what they used to be. And the outside world and stresses do take up brain space. The contract would get reviewed and updated periodically to reflect how our relationship may have changed.

LadyPact...Master asked me to extend His appreciation for the books You suggested. I am looking them up on Amazon now and will probably purchase both of them.




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