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RE: What to do????? - 8/13/2012 10:20:44 PM

Karmastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

i like to make lists. and i love when the lists are executed.

re what the tasks should be? could be anything...how about having her dig a hole, moving the dirt to the side, and then filling it back up? or you could assign her tasks to do for things you know she needs to get done at home. or, you could use internet software and gadgets to control some things remotely.

the task doesn't really matter...what's important is that she knows she's doing it for you.

hope this helps, have fun :)

Honestly I'd stay away from useless tasks like digging holes and filling them in. To me, that makes me lose respect for a Dominant if he values my time so little as to think he can ask me to waste it. When I feel like I'm getting the busywork assignments, I don't follow them and end up resenting the Dominant who gave it to me.

thanks, you're right, or at least, i agree; i should have said i don't subscribe to that (lists with useless busy work). but it seems to work for some. but what do i know, what goes on behind closed doors.

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RE: What to do????? - 8/13/2012 10:34:37 PM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

i like to make lists. and i love when the lists are executed.

re what the tasks should be? could be anything...how about having her dig a hole, moving the dirt to the side, and then filling it back up? or you could assign her tasks to do for things you know she needs to get done at home. or, you could use internet software and gadgets to control some things remotely.

the task doesn't really matter...what's important is that she knows she's doing it for you.

hope this helps, have fun :)

Honestly I'd stay away from useless tasks like digging holes and filling them in. To me, that makes me lose respect for a Dominant if he values my time so little as to think he can ask me to waste it. When I feel like I'm getting the busywork assignments, I don't follow them and end up resenting the Dominant who gave it to me.

A lot of people like to use journaling as a task as it promotes introspection and closeness as well if the Dominant reads/shares the writings. The journal could have a task built in too, such as choosing something specific of your choosing to reflect upon each day.

In my relationship i keep up the calendar we both use on the internet with current dates and appts - this makes me think of him and our upcoming time together and what we are each doing when we're away from each other. If she's trying to lose weight or eat more healthy you could ask for a daily food and exercise log which falls within certain parameters that you've already set. Identify something that would enrich her life and set it as a goal for her to accomplish something towards that each day. Identify a long term goal and break it down into segments and have her report back as each thing is accomplished, thus bringing her closer to attaining the goal. He also likes to use me to research things he needs done.

Or you could have her wear a butt plug to the store

Okay, the butt plug to the market statement has made me laugh several times now...

You can give busy work, if that is what you want but I have to agree with lizi here as well as lilwonder. I think that asking is almost counterproductive but you have been given some examples. Obviously though, you need to act upon what works within the framework of your situation. Personally, I would find journal keeping and sending you the entries to be productive, it gives her the realization that her entire day is centered on you. By asking her questions, having her reflect upon different things, her focus is upon you as well as on learning more about herself. having her potentially taking classes, to learn, expand, become a more well rounded person, would only be seen as possible.

Not that there is a goddamned thing wrong with her having to wear a buttplug to go grocery shopping.

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RE: What to do????? - 8/13/2012 11:22:20 PM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CRYPTICLXVI

Okay, the butt plug to the market statement has made me laugh several times now...

You can give busy work, if that is what you want but I have to agree with lizi here as well as lilwonder. I think that asking is almost counterproductive but you have been given some examples. Obviously though, you need to act upon what works within the framework of your situation. Personally, I would find journal keeping and sending you the entries to be productive, it gives her the realization that her entire day is centered on you. By asking her questions, having her reflect upon different things, her focus is upon you as well as on learning more about herself. having her potentially taking classes, to learn, expand, become a more well rounded person, would only be seen as possible.

Not that there is a goddamned thing wrong with her having to wear a buttplug to go grocery shopping.

To expand on the busywork idea a bit....if I feel that I am so worthless as to get busywork from a man that is supposed to be my leader, it is the beginning of the end for me. I do not see him in the same way after that point and I feel it is justified. I can put it aside and wait it out, but each time this has happened in real life for me, what follows is the death of the relationship. At that point I feel that this is not a Dominant man, but someone getting off on playing a part and I see I can do a better job of leading myself - I no longer see him as Dominant when he indulges himself at my expense for silliness. I don't need someone to give me meaningless duties to keep me out of his hair like a child. I'm very good at either entertaining myself, or doing something that needs to be done. The first time I ignore something a D has given me to do because I feel its stupid, it starts the downward slide of having me become disillusioned with the man.

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Post #: 23

RE: What to do????? - 8/13/2012 11:31:43 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
Honestly I'd stay away from useless tasks like digging holes and filling them in. To me, that makes me lose respect for a Dominant if he values my time so little as to think he can ask me to waste it. When I feel like I'm getting the busywork assignments, I don't follow them and end up resenting the Dominant who gave it to me.

*laughs* And here I was thinking of calling Carol tomorrow (who's travelling) and having her dig a random hole for EXACTLY the reason you mentioned. Well... she would follow it, of course, but she'd resent the hell out of it and it would probably be a respect losing proposition at least temporarily. But to be fair, 99.9999999% of the commands I give her are not like that. I certainly thinking making a career of it would be... uh... unwise.

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Post #: 24

RE: What to do????? - 8/14/2012 12:03:23 AM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

i like to make lists. and i love when the lists are executed.

re what the tasks should be? could be anything...how about having her dig a hole, moving the dirt to the side, and then filling it back up? or you could assign her tasks to do for things you know she needs to get done at home. or, you could use internet software and gadgets to control some things remotely.

the task doesn't really matter...what's important is that she knows she's doing it for you.

hope this helps, have fun :)

Honestly I'd stay away from useless tasks like digging holes and filling them in. To me, that makes me lose respect for a Dominant if he values my time so little as to think he can ask me to waste it. When I feel like I'm getting the busywork assignments, I don't follow them and end up resenting the Dominant who gave it to me.

thanks, you're right, or at least, i agree; i should have said i don't subscribe to that (lists with useless busy work). but it seems to work for some. but what do i know, what goes on behind closed doors.

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RE: What to do????? - 8/14/2012 9:38:08 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

re what the tasks should be? could be anything...how about having her dig a hole, moving the dirt to the side, and then filling it back up?

Crap like that shows that you don't respect your submissive's time and think that it doesn't have value.

quote:

or you could assign her tasks to do for things you know she needs to get done at home.

Yeah, nothing like assigning something that I'm going to do anyway as a way to assert dominance.

Let me tell you what my life was like when I was single.

I worked somewhere between 45 and 50 hours per week. Thanks to SoCal traffic my commute was somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes each way. So, I had a minimum of an 11 hour day with just that.

I went to the gym three times per week. Had a dog that needed my care. I had to clean, do laundry, go grocery shopping, cook, take care of my appearance, make time for maintenance on the car, pay my bills, balance my checkbook, attend work events and be social with family and friends. If that didn't get done during the week, it had to happen on the weekend.....which means that it cut into the time I got to spend with my Dom.

So, why the hell would you want waste her time on mindless shit like digging holes?

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Post #: 26

RE: What to do????? - 8/14/2012 9:53:49 AM

CRYPTICLXVI

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

re what the tasks should be? could be anything...how about having her dig a hole, moving the dirt to the side, and then filling it back up?

Crap like that shows that you don't respect your submissive's time and think that it doesn't have value.

I am still trying to imagine someone actually considering this, outside of online/fantasy... and even for that, it would be "huh???".
I hope this approach works for those who utilize it, I realize that there are as many interests/dynamics as there are individuals.

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RE: What to do????? - 8/14/2012 10:49:54 AM

Karmastic

Posts: 1650
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

re what the tasks should be? could be anything...how about having her dig a hole, moving the dirt to the side, and then filling it back up?
Crap like that shows that you don't respect your submissive's time and think that it doesn't have value.

quote:

or you could assign her tasks to do for things you know she needs to get done at home.
Yeah, nothing like assigning something that I'm going to do anyway as a way to assert dominance.

Let me tell you what my life was like when I was single.

I worked somewhere between 45 and 50 hours per week. Thanks to SoCal traffic my commute was somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes each way. So, I had a minimum of an 11 hour day with just that.

I went to the gym three times per week. Had a dog that needed my care. I had to clean, do laundry, go grocery shopping, cook, take care of my appearance, make time for maintenance on the car, pay my bills, balance my checkbook, attend work events and be social with family and friends. If that didn't get done during the week, it had to happen on the weekend.....which means that it cut into the time I got to spend with my Dom.

So, why the hell would you want waste her time on mindless shit like digging holes?

i guess you missed where an adult (lizi) responded to me with a similar sentiment as yours, but not at all angry or accusatory. i already replied with this...

quote:

Karmastic

thanks, you're right, or at least, i agree; i should have said i don't subscribe to that (lists with useless busy work). but it seems to work for some. but what do i know, what goes on behind closed doors.

crap like this (assuming nasty negative things about people you don't know, even when they have already clarified) shows where your head is at.

furthermore, the sequence of events just boggles my mind...

1. OP asks open ended question

2. People give open ended brainstorming answers

3. Other adults discuss and clarify

4. Angry person lashes out to belittle someone for offering open ended brainstorming answers, but angry person is so mad they can't even read the words that make her angry point moot.

really, i mean REALLY, what the fuck gives with you?

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 8/14/2012 10:52:22 AM >

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RE: What to do????? - 8/14/2012 11:33:22 AM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

i guess you missed where an adult (lizi) responded to me with a similar sentiment as yours, but not at all angry or accusatory. i already replied with this...

You're assuming I'm angry or accusatory, which is totally your bias. It's convenient for you to spin it that way so that you can justify your behavior.

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Post #: 29

RE: What to do????? - 8/14/2012 11:38:35 AM

Karmastic

Posts: 1650
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

i guess you missed where an adult (lizi) responded to me with a similar sentiment as yours, but not at all angry or accusatory. i already replied with this...

You're assuming I'm angry or accusatory, which is totally your bias. It's convenient for you to spin it that way so that you can justify your behavior.

my "behavior" was to have the nerve to contribute to the thread by answering OP with random brainstorming ideas, some of which seem to work for other people (not me). and, to call people of your ilk who attempt to belittle people's ideas and POVs.

and now you're in denial and projecting...

"Crap like that shows that you don't respect your submissive's time and think that it doesn't have value."

"Yeah, nothing like assigning something that I'm going to do anyway as a way to assert dominance. "

...rant on how hard your life was...

"So, why the hell would you want waste her time on mindless shit like digging holes?"

edit: and, it seems that you're so disingenuous, you cannot even admit that you simply made a mistake, and didn't read my clarification before you went off on your ranting and raving. speaks volumes.

< Message edited by Karmastic -- 8/14/2012 11:41:34 AM >

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Post #: 30

RE: What to do????? - 8/23/2012 7:52:51 AM

SimplyMichael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC
But this is where I wish SimplyMichael were here. I'm certain he could trot out a list of 20 kinky things to do remotely in about 2 seconds. I always thought of him as a Maestro at that.

OMFG and his voice.... *swoons*

Jeff, miss having morning coffee with you! Thanks for the compliment and I don't know why you can't think of 20 things to do AND do with long term goals in mind. Busy work is silly but having goals and intentions is important. Those goals can be anything from improving health to changing personality or creating cravings. Another way to think of it is when you want to create a bigger change, one shapes or reshapes behavior one piece at a time and you can often do it without them even knowing what your end game is. For some women, suddenly showing them what those little peices add up to? PRICELESS!

Now, doing these sorts of things depend entirely on the person, the relationship, and how two people relate, nothing works universally...

Kiegels are a great one and if you add in trigger words while she does them...
Then get them fantasizing while they masturbate about some kink you want her to internalize.
Then when you are doing something to her she finds hot you get her to close her eyes and imagine the fetish
THEN...when you get her to the point she fantasizes about the fetish and she begs for it.
You go back and use the trigger words you made her do her kiegels too....and voila, massive orgasms fueled by stronger kiegels...

Another one would be to work up something do deal with an issue she has, poor body image and self confidence are common ones.

First do this WITH her when the two of you are in a great emotional place.
Stand her clothed in front of a mirror and explain to her how you see her beauty, the things that excite you, lust for, etc.
THEN when she is out during the day, have her find mirror and replay your voice in her head telling her those things
Understand this SEEMS easy but is often terrifying for a woman.
SO...repeat doing it together to reinforce your voice

So THOSE sorts of things can make time apart hot, sexy, and useful.

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Post #: 31

RE: What to do????? - 8/23/2012 2:34:56 PM

FrostedFlake

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quote:

I would like to have more tasks for her to do while she is away, but am kinda at a loss of what type of tasks to keep the connection even though she is not here. Any suggestions would be great

I suggest the fact that you cannot come up with any tasks might mean that this is an inappropriate idea.

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 8/23/2012 2:41:36 PM >

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