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Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 5:08:49 AM

Muzzles

Posts: 2
Joined: 8/11/2012
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Hello everyone,

I have been following this site for a while but it took the implosion of an long term relationship to finally admit I am just not wired that way.

While I understand the purpose of the pain side of things I am more interested in the power/control side of things. I would love to hear the thoughts of anyone interested in sharing or recommendations on threads to read.

Also, if anyone has any recommendations for clubs or meeting places near the Ottawa area I would appreciate the input.

Thank you,

Muzzles

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 6:10:54 AM

DarkSteven

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Hi there. Welcome to collarme.

I'm not sure what you mean when you say that your LTR failed because you're not wired to be modern and sensitive. If it means that you just wanted what you wanted and were tired of accommodating her, the lifestyle may not be for you. As a Dom, you not only need to be aware of her and her preferences, you also need to make decisions that take all that into account.

That said, if you're into the mental aspects rather than play sessions, you may want to check into a couple of things:

Gorean, which emphasizes conduct of the Gorean master and the control he has over his kajira. There's a forum for that: The Gorean forum.

The Head of Household/Taken in Hand (HoH/TiH) dynamic, in which the man sets the rules, the woman follows them, and she gets spanked as punishment if she doesn't.

Here are links to Ottawa groups: Group 1 and Group 2

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 6:32:39 AM

Delilya

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good luck

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 10:01:12 AM

kalikshama

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I had a play partner in FL who was a minister, yoga teacher, and nasty kinky fuck. Sensitive and sadist are not exclusive.

Welcome!

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 10:41:25 AM

MyWay1954

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Joined: 8/3/2011
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I bet dollars to donuts ya didn't expect that.

Truth is most of us are a hell of a lot more sensitive and impathic than people think.

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 1:26:26 PM

Shininglight23

Posts: 1336
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I'm not sure what you mean when you say that your LTR failed because you're not wired to be modern and sensitive. If it means that you just wanted what you wanted and were tired of accommodating her, the lifestyle may not be for you. As a Dom, you not only need to be aware of her and her preferences, you also need to make decisions that take all that into account.

This..

Quoted because DarkSteven said what I was thinking.. in a much nicer way.

-Allie

ETA: Welcome OP.. I hope you discover what you really want, and then have the time, patience, and integrity to wait for it.

< Message edited by Shininglight23 -- 8/17/2012 1:27:31 PM >

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 2:24:49 PM

Kaiel

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Hello and welcome

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 2:46:03 PM

Muzzles

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Joined: 8/11/2012
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I mispoke when I said sensitive but at the moment I do not know how best to express what I mean. Unfortunately, I am better expressing myself with my actions then with my words. I absolutely agree that this lifestyle may not be the correct one for me but that is why I am looking for input from those who are more knowledgeable then me. Thank you for the welcome and the information.

< Message edited by Muzzles -- 8/17/2012 2:47:28 PM >

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 5:39:27 PM

OsideGirl

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Well, I'll tell ya...WIITWD usually takes more communication. If you want clearly defined roles, you need to actually define those roles.

You just say Canada on your profile, so I don't know where you are. I would suggest going onto Fet Life and using your area as the search term and find a discussion group near you. It will help you get some clearer ideas about how some approach the life.

Welcome to the forums!

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 6:42:04 PM

ARIES83

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MyWay1954

I bet dollars to donuts ya didn't expect that.

Truth is most of us are a hell of a lot more sensitive and impathic than people think.

"empathic"?
There are all kinds of people, I'm one who is
less interested in pain and more geared toward
Power exchange, I cant think of a good thread...
So I'm gunna make one! Look for
Sadism & Power exchange in general discussions,
Hopefully there will be a few points of view there
in the not to distant future, I'm pretty interested
myself.

-ARIES

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/17/2012 6:51:30 PM

JanahX

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Empathetic - is the word you were looking for - and I have to disagree, Ive found the complete opposite. People are LESS sensitive and empathetic that I thought. Its a sad note too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MyWay1954

I bet dollars to donuts ya didn't expect that.

Truth is most of us are a hell of a lot more sensitive and impathic than people think.

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RE: Done trying to be a sensitive modern man! - 8/18/2012 9:09:47 AM

OohAahMrs

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Welcome muz, i never use doughnuts in a wager!

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