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I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/10/2006 9:06:01 PM

SeekingaServant

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

I was wondering about slaves, subs, servants, and beyond. I am earnestly seeking a true slave, who is mine to do with as I will. But the overwhelming majority of responses I receive are from those just seeking to be sexual slaves. Is this a common issue?
Of course there are times when I will use my slaves as sexual objects...but the majority of the time they need to be just doing my daily biddings/chores.
Many of them seem to think this is all about getting laid, when for me...that is definetly not the point. One of the perks of being in charge is that I am rarely disappointed in the bedroom, but its just that...a perk...not the main focus.
Also, I have had a few applicants that are over seas or very far away. What do you do to keep the training process fresh and real? Is it even possible? I've told my applicants to punish themselves while I listen, but sadly its not as satisfying as doing it ones own self.
How do you punish a painslut? Isn't the pain of punishment exactly what they are craving? sigh! Sometimes they disobey just to get the pain.

Anyway, long and rambling this may be...but the main point is to just seek some advice from other Mistresses. Any help or tips would be appreciated.
Thanks

Post #: 1

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/10/2006 9:27:39 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

I've had quite a few petitions for service here at CM from submissives and from slaves who do not expect sexual contact at all. They are only searching for One to serve, whether as a domestic, bath boy, gardener, houseboy, or toilet slave.

I'm certain that if you keep your lines of communication open you'll be contacted by one who only wants to serve.

Good luck to you,

TexasMaam

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to SeekingaServant)

Post #: 2

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/10/2006 10:34:39 PM

SeekingaServant

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

Thank you TexasMaam. I am refining me search over time, discovering the differences between the subs/slave/servants and wannabes. Many potentials, think they want to serve...but when it gets to the nitty gritty, they are really more about the sexual fantasy aspect of it. I mean, what male wouldn't want to be kept as a 24/7 sex slave...brought out of his cage just to service women? But the reality is a little bit different...at least for me.
Scrub my floors, cook my meals, be my footstool, whipping boy, and occasional bedroom slave. I'll find the one eventually.

*edited for horrible spelling errors! Hope I caught them all*

< Message edited by SeekingaServant -- 6/10/2006 10:35:37 PM >

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 3

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 1:48:26 AM

HayaSierra

Posts: 119
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: In Georgia
Status: offline

Greetings,

There are a good number of service slaves around the place who are not into it for the sex. It may take some time to find the perfect one for you, but they are out there.

Overseas there are often some real gems, but even harder than training them is trying to relocate them, unless you are looking for a strictly online relationship with visits tossed in. Long distance training is possible, but it takes a lot of time and effort (and sincerity on both sides). This is because not only are you not right next to them, but also typing takes a lot longer than speaking, and some things just do not transfer well into the written word.

Punishing a pain slut, simple -- do not give them pain. Make them do something boring, repetetive, or even useless. But don't make it anything that would inflict them the type of sensation that they want. To show this a personal example: I'm teaching one right now that unless it does everything I say and the way I want -- it is not getting any punishment from me of the types it craves (Miseries). it is one of my overseas slaves, and it had a hard time understanding that my idea of punishment is not its idea of punishment, and it had a bad habit of begging or asking for "punishment". Until I REALLY punished it, Hanian style. Since then it has been much easier to deal with -- ask for punishment and one will get indeed punished. But not the way it likes. As for Miseries -- when it does well, I will give it a little Misery here and there. Just enough to gratify it a little and make it content. A painful pose held for a minute a few times a day. Spanking itself with it's hairbrush. Things like that. This has been a long road, but I'm getting somewhere with it. Interesting to know, though it is one of my low-Caste slaves, and is even commonly objectified as is Custom in my household for such creatures, it is one of my only and *quite useful* urdu translators that does work with a major social change project in regards to one of the poorer communities in it's country where my Society does work. Using these techniques I keep it useful to me and the Society, but still occasionally reward it with some gratification.

_____________________________

Haya Sierra
Haya Of Ka Azdor Estate --
http://groups.msn.com/Domsub/
Basic Information about the Hanian System of D/s

(in reply to SeekingaServant)

Post #: 4

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 2:56:07 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

A lot of the folks that now find a great pleasure and deep fulfillment in service of their Mistress did not start out that way.

It is something that is learned, it comes from having a deep intimate relationship with some one you like and admire that one day its not enough to be of service to them sexually, suddenly you want to bathe them, clean for them, make their lives more enriched. The type of slave you seek has already had that sort of experience, which typically means he is an older wiser slave...so you might start looking farther afield.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to HayaSierra)

Post #: 5

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 3:33:56 PM

chains314

Posts: 81
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

Corner time is a very good punishment for a pain slave standing or kneeling holding a coin against the wall with his noise for a pried of time he can do it with the web cam so you can see he don't drop the coin that is no fun for any sub

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 6

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 4:54:35 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingaServant

Thank you TexasMaam. I am refining me search over time, discovering the differences between the subs/slave/servants and wannabes. Many potentials, think they want to serve...but when it gets to the nitty gritty, they are really more about the sexual fantasy aspect of it. I mean, what male wouldn't want to be kept as a 24/7 sex slave...brought out of his cage just to service women? But the reality is a little bit different...at least for me.
Scrub my floors, cook my meals, be my footstool, whipping boy, and occasional bedroom slave. I'll find the one eventually.

Welcome to the wonderful world of boy toys. Even a sex slave in the way you describe above would be frustrated if you gave him what he wanted...leave him in a locked cage all day, no books, no paper, no tv, locked up pee pee and only let him out for sexual service then lock him back up. Showing them the flaws between porn and reality usually reveals their motives.
I've had boys just like you describe, it's not all that uncommon as long as you're mindful of "their place". My last boy especially got confused with being allowed in my bed, sexual service and the reality that he was there for personal service and not vanilla sex. In his mind we did lots of vanilla things together, had sex and other than the bondage part he was able to rationalize enough items into fitting a vanilla mold. He mistakenly believed that these items meant that he could announce that he's in charge and everything would be ok. Big shock it didn't work...I think it was an unfortunate side effect of allowing myself to care about his opinions which in turn ruined some of the dynamic. Anyway, for what it's worth my personal pitfall experience with what you seek...it's out there and sometimes it even works.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to SeekingaServant)

Post #: 7

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 5:27:46 PM

mellian

Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

I get the reverse here. I am a service oriented sub having trouble finding a Domme that is seeking one. Dommes in this area mainly into S&M play than D/s. :/

-mellian

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 8

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 5:30:45 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mellian

I get the reverse here. I am a service oriented sub having trouble finding a Domme that is seeking one. Dommes in this area mainly into S&M play than D/s. :/

-mellian

Profile not found isn't the best way to use this post to your advantage.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to mellian)

Post #: 9

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 5:37:44 PM

mellian

Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
Profile not found isn't the best way to use this post to your advantage.

If that is what it seems like, than it is not my intention. As for my profile, not sure why that link doesn't work. *goes to checks her settings*

-mellian

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 10

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 10:30:39 PM

SeekingaServant

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

Corner time is a very good punishment for a pain slave standing or kneeling holding a coin against the wall with his noise for a pried of time he can do it with the web cam so you can see he don't drop the coin that is no fun for any sub

Thank you, I have been getting alot of good feedback and I might try a few of these things.

(in reply to chains314)

Post #: 11

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/11/2006 10:36:42 PM

SeekingaServant

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mellian

I get the reverse here. I am a service oriented sub having trouble finding a Domme that is seeking one. Dommes in this area mainly into S&M play than D/s. :/

-mellian

I too had no ability to locate your profile. I am understanding though...its hard to find the right fit. Just because we all have a major catagory for our kink doesn't mean we are able to find the right match for the more minor details in our kinks.
I enjoy using my slaves for a little bit of everything, so its harder in some ways. I'm not always looking for a pain slut, or a sex toy...but I am looking for one who's sole desire in life is to serve. Who is content with being allowed to worship me once in a while as a reward for work well done, can work well with minimal direction, is able to satisfy my occasional kinky sexual desires,is able to understand his place is not at my side rather it is at my feet, can handle it when I'm in the need to inflict pain....seems like so little to ask, but then again....lol.

(in reply to mellian)

Post #: 12

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 12:07:02 AM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mellian

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
Profile not found isn't the best way to use this post to your advantage.

If that is what it seems like, than it is not my intention. As for my profile, not sure why that link doesn't work. *goes to checks her settings*

-mellian

mellian,

I see you have the same problem that I and more than a few other people here have. If you click my name on this post, you'll get "profile not found" If you type or copy my name into the username field on the homepage, poof, there's my profile.

Do you also have the problem of nobody receiving your emails here? You're welcome to send me a test message to find out. Of course, I'll have to post on this thread if I get it, because nobody receives my emails here either.

If you find a solution to these problems, please let me know.

(in reply to mellian)

Post #: 13

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 1:41:45 AM

SeekingaServant

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

I have another question....or topic to explore....

Cucks vs. hot wife

What are peoples thoughts on new subs/slave expecting a cuck immedietly? What are peoples personal opinions on what a cuck is?
I think a true cuck can only happen AFTER a relationship has developed between a sub/slaveand their Mistress....that the true feelings of being cucked is when the Mistress you adore and worship goes out and brings in another lover to satisfy her because you can't.
In my opinion, if I bring a slave in and then 1 day later bring another lover in...its only play, or a fantasy scene of the hot wife variety...more of a swing then a cuck.
Lets discuss. :)

< Message edited by SeekingaServant -- 6/12/2006 1:42:31 AM >

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 14

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 6:09:46 PM

SeekingaServant

Posts: 37
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline

I'm being bumped off the page....ahhhh!! Anyone have any answers or is there another thread that might deal with this better?

(in reply to SeekingaServant)

Post #: 15

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 6:24:09 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

No personal experience to back this one up BUT it's never stopped me before LOL. It seems that having a relationship with the boy before turning him into a cuck would be necessary. Otherwise he's just a creepy tied up dude watching you have sex. You also need to be mindful of the subs motivations. My last boy for example would have freaked out and left at the idea of anyone else involved especially sexually. So turning him into a cuck wouldn't have been a possibility.
I currently have a friend with benefits that actually enjoys being told about my current relationship and how he doesn't measure up. A cuck in the making perhaps?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to SeekingaServant)

Post #: 16

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 6:43:05 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I do get a lot of boys who only think about the kink, and the sexuality of the kink. They think they love the idea of being a slave or a sub until they realize that
much of it is day to day routine with the mindset always in place regarding their place in the relationship. There is too much fantasy out there and that is what many of them latch onto with one hand while the other is busily at work on their cock.
I don't do anything online except normal "getting to know you" email correspondence. No chat, no IM, no cam. I won't even deal with anyone in another country as, for Me, there is no point. Telephone domination can be done, but I also have a special set up for that, and it is rare. It is also paid for. By the minute. It is the only way I can honestly be bothered, and it will be My way, when I want it. So, most of the time, it is not done at all. If a boy gets past the first hurdles with Me, then we will move onto a phone call, (not a professional call) and I will be listening for any telltale signs of an unzipped fly. I am sure I can be fooled once in a while, but if I am, then he has not had as much fun as he hoped! *Smile*
Painsluts would never be punished via pain. That would be a reward. So it is important to determine what it is that a boy likes, and then any punishment needed would not be that! As you said, yourself, it is not as satisfying to listen to a boy spank himself. Frankly, I would rather be wielding the leather strap up close and personal.
Hot Wife vs. cuck. I don't cuck anymore...At least not in the fullest sense. I might still require a boy to help Me prepare for a date, or a vanilla outing, and leave him home to wonder, but there is no listening at the door, no service of the bull, and no cream pie cleanups. Yes, to Me, the hotwife camp is something that is more in tune with a Dominant male. But in that case, I don't consider the male a cuck. I would look at it as a swing scene, and he is having it his way. JMO
I agree that bonafide cucking is going to be much more successful after a relationship has already been established.
I too seek a slave in the truest sense of consensual slavery in this lifestyle. It is not easy to find, but there are some fine boys out there. It can be hard geographically, and there is also age to consider. I prefer an older boy or girl who is settled and aware of what they want and need to fulfill themselves. And, as had already been stated, there are some real gems in other countries, but I cannot and will not relocate a boy, so it is up to them to get here, legally, on their own, and then we can take a look. I think that there is a different and more realistic attitude toward this lifestyle in other countries. American boys have a tendency to be hard pressed to be willing to make that power exchange.
But online will not work for Me, so I just don't get involved.
Good luck and welcome to the boards.

.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to SeekingaServant)

Post #: 17

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 7:28:17 PM

mellian

Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

I see you have the same problem that I and more than a few other people here have. If you click my name on this post, you'll get "profile not found" If you type or copy my name into the username field on the homepage, poof, there's my profile.

Yes, while trying to figure out why it doesn't work, my profile doesn't come up for me either when I click my name, same goe when trying to open my profile from the chatroom.

quote:

Do you also have the problem of nobody receiving your emails here? You're welcome to send me a test message to find out. Of course, I'll have to post on this thread if I get it, because nobody receives my emails here either.

Come to think of it, I did thought I am an email problem the other week when I msged someone on collarme for the first time in nearly a year, yet keep showing as unread. I just assumed that they so uninterested that they simply deleted my email without reading. Hmm, I will send you a msg to see if you get it or not, maybe send one to myself as well.

quote:

If you find a solution to these problems, please let me know.

If it is a common problem, especially with the email, then it is something the collarme admin people really need to fix.

-mellian

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)

Post #: 18

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 7:37:54 PM

mellian

Posts: 211
Joined: 9/6/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingaServant
I too had no ability to locate your profile. I am understanding though...its hard to find the right fit. Just because we all have a major catagory for our kink doesn't mean we are able to find the right match for the more minor details in our kinks.

My profile it is up, just the link in my name is broken and not bringing anyone to the profile, hence would need to search my name instead. even without being picky in any way, I woud still have trouble finding a Domme around here because of them being straight or leaning to men bisexuals....along with being S&M mainly and monogamous. I need to move to another city me thinks.

-mellian

(in reply to SeekingaServant)

Post #: 19

RE: I have a question for my fellow Mistresses... - 6/12/2006 9:50:45 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mellian

If it is a common problem, especially with the email, then it is something the collarme admin people really need to fix.

-mellian

I haven't gotten anything from you. It does seem to be a fairly common problem. I went around and around with Moderator 11 about it a month or two ago. She assured me that since it had been discussed on these boards, Support must be aware of it and would probably fix it. I've had this problem for six months now, so far, no fix.

(in reply to mellian)

Post #: 20

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