NuevaVida
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt
Life is a learning process, and I no longer look at my past relationships as *failed* relationships. I look at them as opportunities to learn lessons that I evidently needed to learn.
Hey CP. That's how I see it, too. I took the emotional crisis I was in to learn my own self truths. I don't regret any of it, and I don't hold animosity toward those who were less than kind toward me. Out of my most difficult times came the most awesome self discoveries.
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Oh, how did you state it the other day? That you've come a long way and it's been an interesting trip? Sometimes, we *need* to take the scenic route to get where we're going.
Yep, that's pretty much what I said. You know, one of my brothers recently had his emotional foundation rocked, and he's really struggling. I told him he wasn't going to like this, but I'm really excited for him, because what's going to emerge from this, in his quest to figure out the why's and what to do's, is going to be awesome.
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And if we take the time to learn what we need to learn, it's all good, it's all what makes the super fabulous (not to mention humble) people we are today.
Amen!
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Like you, I didn't have the world's best childhood, or adolescence come to that, so for a long time I thought all my relationships fuck ups were all about me picking the wrong people. A lot of it *was* that, sure. Some of it was spectacularly good/bad chemistry.
Good for the sex, bad for the emotions.
I've since learned I can be great in a relationship. And guess what? I didn't get a brain transplant, and I didn't have years of therapy. I'm still the same, basic me.
I actually *did* go through some amazing therapy, but I didn't get a brain transplant, either lol. I learned that I had never done the work to know and create myself, so I just became what someone else wanted me to be. When my own emotional foundation was torn apart, it was my opportunity to become what *I* wanted me to be. It was a difficult, painful, scary and really exciting process. And hey, I'm still in it. 
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But now I *am* with someone who doesn't push all my bad buttons. And I don't push his bad buttons. We have no need to. And yes, I do think he's a super hunk. What's the difference? A certain degree of improved emotional health, for sure. A better choice, for sure. But, a better emotional chemistry between us.
Ditto that!
Admittedly, it was a hard adjustment for me to learn to receive what he wanted to give. His love scared the shit out of me at first, and it look me a lonnnng time to trust it....I had to learn to trust myself, too.
Happy for you. Happy for us both. 
_____________________________
Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.
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RE: Changing Perspectives - 
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