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LanceHughes -> RE: TRAIN WRECK!!! (8/22/2012 7:53:13 PM)
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Ah, c'mon guys (said in a non-sexist way) . . . .
You want train wreck? True story: Male acquiatance tries to seduce Lance. Invites me over for a legitimate reason, asking my advice on a subject I have knowlege of. After we're done with that and sitting on couch, he pulls poppers out from pillows of couch, saying "I know you're gay. Could you show me how to use these?" Good thing I was sitting down since I was laughing so hard. (Bottle only 2/3rds full.)
So where's the wreck? He's madly in love with a straight woman. Oh, a married straight woman who has ZERO, zip, nada knowlege of what he and I are doing. She and I were introduced before he decided he was "bi-curious." She's in love with him, but her husband is .... well "still in the picture."
Lance is very tired of the "bi-curious" male. To the man (pun in there somewhere) they want to suck one dick to prove they can and then they're done. Well, our boy here - let's call him Jeff - Jeff has Thursday set aside for his "blow Lance nite." Funny thing... he's DAMN fine at it! A natural? Maybe not since he had a 4-year prison term, but who cares where he learned to deep throat.
Jeff moans and begs and pleads to get fucked, but Lance has quite the piece-o-meat, so tries starting out with a finger or two. Jeff can't take that. Lance decides to get a set of "build-up-your-abilities" dildoes. OOPS! Too many $$$. But wait! The individual mini is $10. Okay. Surprises Jeff with it and Jeff can't take his eyes off it. Practices sucking on it, etc.....
Fast forward to removal - "OMGawd! That was incredible. It was all the way in me and when you pushed your hips it felt just like you were fucking me." Winds down a bit and continues.... "Oh, man if you could find a friend built just like that, bring him over. I want to get fucked by a dick just like that." <pause> "But he has to be kinda cute."
Lance just holds his laughter, grinning like a cat.
Jeff says, "Oh, BTW, did you leave something here last time?"
Like what?
In my bedstead?
Never touched your bedstead. What are you talking about?
It's like a big condom.
::: sigh ::: Maybe Jennie left her "in vagina" condom?
Is this a trainwreck?
Oh, as I leave..... "Please take MY dildo and bring it back next time. And don't let anyone else use it," says the germ-a-phobe. "And make sure you took all the wrappings."
Yes, yes.
And then he gets on his knees, wraps arms around my legs and says "Thank you, Sir."
YIKES!
Husband is in a wheel-chair and not long for this world. Jennie has already been offered a transfer to East Coast with HUGE promotion for same firm. Husband won't go, so Jennie refused to go. Jeff had fantasy that he would follow her (sans husband) and marry her the moment the husband died.
And then where would I get nice deep-throat blow-jobs?
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