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Kana -> RE: TRAIN WRECK!!! (9/29/2012 5:59:33 AM)
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Joke time!
Man is laying in bed with his wife when she rolls over, gives him a real hard look that says somethings on her mind, and asks:
Woman(W)-"Honey, if I died, would you get married again?"
Man(M) looks at her with that look that says her knows there ain't no right answer to this one and that he's trapped, sees he's getting that look, and decides to answer, "Probably. I don't think you'd want me to be lonely for the rest of my life and it would be good for the kids to have a female role model around the house. Yeah, I likely would."
Woman goes "hmmmph." Rolls over.
A minute later she pokes him in the side.
W-"If you got married, would you keep this house?"
Man looks increasingly trapped, sees how serious she is, answers,"I think so. It's a good house, paid off, I like the neighbors and it's close to work."
Woman goes "hmmmph." Rolls over.
A minute later she pokes him in the side.
W-"This wife, would you let her drive my car? Would you give her my Honda?"
Man tries to remain patient despite his need for an early start the next day, but he's a good hubby so he thinks a while before answering, "Most likely. It's a good car, reliable, gets good mileage and it's almost paid off."
Woman looks a bit upset, goes "hmmmph." Rolls over.
A minute later she pokes him in the side.
W-"What about my jewels? Would you let the tramp wear my jewels?"
Man is getting irritated now, but he hides it when he sees the line of questioning is important to her so he thinks real hard before replying, "Yes. Most of them are heirlooms, been in my family for generations. I'd want to be able to give them to our daughters when their time comes and it would be strange to just keep them in storage. Jewelry is made to be worn."
Wife is getting perturbed now, Woman goes "hmmmph." Rolls over.
A minute later she pokes him in the side.
W-"What about our bed? Would you keep the bed, make love to her in our bed."
Man is getting exasperated now, he wants to get to sleep, however he sees that shes starting to get seriously upset, but wants to answer honestly, so he mulls the question a looooong time before responding, "I think so. The bed is the centerpiece of the bedroom and we've already determined that I'd keep the house. If I got rid of the bed I'd have to redecorate the entire bedroom and that would cost a lot of money." Then hoping to quiet her as well as give her some solace, toss her a bone, reminds her, "After all, it is a good bed. You should know."
Wife is really getting upset now, Woman goes "hmmmph." Rolls over.
A minute later she pokes him in the side.
"What?" he says, desperate for sleep.
W-"What about my golf clubs. Would you let the bitch use my clubs?"
Man doesn't even take a second to think, quick as a shot he replies, Oh nonononono.Not a chance in hell."
The wife bolts upright in bed, stares as hard as humanly possible at him and cries, "What the fuck? You're gonna marry this floozy, move her into my house, let her act as a Mother to my kids, drive my car, wear my jewelry, even fuck her in our bed but you won't let her use my Golf Clubs. What kind of nonsense is that."
And without missing a beat, the man replies, "Honey, she's left handed."
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