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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 7:03:16 AM

cerealbox

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Who needs it when I can work out my issues on this forum? :P

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 7:04:03 AM

DaddySatyr

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Our therapy sessions start getting more expensive after you've lost the vanilla cone

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 7:05:07 AM

cerealbox

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I'm thinking maybe it's just an issue of trust? Maybe it's that I need a real relationship to be able to let go of my mind and not just my body?

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 7:06:06 AM

JeffBC

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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cerealbox

I'm thinking maybe it's just an issue of trust? Maybe it's that I need a real relationship to be able to let go of my mind and not just my body?

Bingo

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 7:14:53 AM

Baroana

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 7:16:23 AM

DaddySatyr

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I think it's fair to say that when a lot of us are younger, we don't necessarily need a relationship to enjoy sex. Whether it be hormones or that it's something new or whatever, we can pretty much, hop to it like a bunny at the drop of a hat.

(Now, I'm speaking from my own experience but I am projecting)At some point, we begin to realize that the other people we're engaging in sex with have some emotions, too. They want things from us and we realize that we want other things from them besides the sex.

This is a very confusing time and I believe it is where we truly become adults as opposed to horny, post-pubescent teens, looking for a hole to cum in. We start to realize that it's nice to wake up, roll over and look into a smiling face that was there, yesterday morning, too.

It's very painful; this time that you're going through. You're going to get your heart broken and you're going to make a metric shit ton of mistakes, yourself. You're going to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, even think the wrong thing (with some people) and POOF! the relationship will be over (because they're still learning also).

I don't envy you this time and the only advice I can give you is: try to find a female with whom you are very friendly. get to know her as a person. Then, decide that you are not going to get romantically involved with her and LISTEN, when she tells you things about her relationships. In other words: Try to look from the other point of view then, look at yourself and see how you measure up.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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Post #: 26

RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 9:29:20 AM

Lucifyre

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Joined: 3/27/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi

quote:

ORIGINAL: cerealbox

... I'm looking for rough sex with a woman (because rough sex is hot and kinky) or 24/7 submission... I'd like more of a power dynamic shift, where I am submissive and obedient in a real relationship with a trusting, caring and loving partner.

Does that help the diagnosis any, doc?

You're eager, which is good. You're honest about your naivety, with is also good. You mention 24/7 submission off the cuff like you could take it or leave it. But to a submissive, that's the whole kitten kaboodle (I prefer spelling it my way, thank you). You have deeply kinky fantasies about a 24/7 lifestyle. By the way, you spelled "beliefs" incorrectly in your profile. A 24/7 lifestyle is a balanced thing. It's certainly not gimp suits and spitting on people all day every day. A lot of it is basic "boring" relationship stuff, but with an acknowledgement that both sides are happy when one gives the directions and makes decisions. Most successful 24/7 kinksters I know are very subtle about it, out of the bedroom. You said you want a real, trusting, caring relationship, is that what you're talking about?

I keep thinking that you would prefer a vanilla relationship that gets all kinds of freaky in the sack. You haven't given me anything that exhibits an interest in submission, only being a bottom. Will you indulge me in something? Sadly I can't give you a hand, so this is all on you. Jerk off for me. Rub one out for Bambi. If it helps, you should know I have a few big black friends who have learned that a boy is one light switch away from being a girl.

I mean it, I want you to cum. All over your belly like a good boytoy.

Now... After that's done... Do you still want to submit, or do you want a sammich and to watch TiVo'd Shark Week episodes?

Bambi gets my vote for Board Therapist,

Seriously, you should be charging for this stuff...it's really really good <3

Lucifyre

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 9:43:50 AM

AthenaSurrenders

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Agreed! I love Bambi. He's on my list of wonderful things.

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 10:29:57 AM

LadyHibiscus

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Bambi is the shiz.

OP, I am not reading 'submission' in anything you've written here. I'm reading 'guy who likes rough sexay times'.

The only way you're going to find out is by trying. Please, be honest with whoever you're with. Most men who claim to be submissive are submissive as long as they are turned on. Submission really begins when you do the things you would rather NOT do. And enjoy it.

Good luck, and have fun. There is nothing wrong with being a fetishist. There's nothing wrong with just having a 24/7 weekend now and then, and vanilla the rest of the time.

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 10:33:20 AM

Lucifyre

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

The only way you're going to find out is by trying. Please, be honest with whoever you're with.

I think that may be the crux of it right there LadyH, he is still just trying to figure out WHAT it is that he is ;)

Nuthin wrong with that IMO. You're correct about the being honest part...but a part of that is being honest that you (general you) simply don't know yet and not being embarrassed to indicate that to a potential partner..play or otherwise.

Lucifyre

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 10:37:46 AM

Baroana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Most men who claim to be submissive are submissive as long as they are turned on. Submission really begins when you do the things you would rather NOT do. And enjoy it.

Stealing that for my profile!!!

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 10:44:47 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I am full of wisdoms!

And exploring IS okay. Problems start when someone with no clue says that they ARE something, then wastes everyone's time. Personally, I am not interested in helping anyone find themselves. Lots of others ARE. And hats off to them.

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 11:29:05 AM

Salinedion

Posts: 198
Joined: 5/25/2012
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Hey, thank god for free will, huh? If in the very unlikely event you meet a stern dominatrix who's dying to put you in a chastity belt, you can either just say no, try it out for a little while, or simply wake up from the bad dream.

If on the other hand, you find it a little hot to be "forced" to work through your many mental blocks, it would really, really be helpful to have your head on straight about what's hot-forced and what's really,really don't force me-forced BEFORE taking your pants off.

As a sub guy, the numbers are against you. So you really want to be clear-headed so as not to blow one of your infrequent golden chances should it arise.

Best of luck. Treating forum posts as the same as therapy (which I have no idea whether you need or not) is an idea that wants a little critical evaluation.

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 5:55:49 PM

Karmastic

Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cerealbox

I'm getting the feeling I need to change my profile. I thought talking about specific things I liked would be the way to go, maybe not. Maybe I should put something like "I'm looking for a strong and caring dominant woman to put me under her wing and take me on an emotional and sexual journey"?

sorry haven't read your profile or past this post in this thread. but let me chime in to say what you just wrote sounds pretty damn good. and, make sure to say what you have to offer that sets you apart. have fun and good luck in your search!

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RE: Mental Blocks - 8/25/2012 8:31:38 PM

BambiBoi

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Thank you for your kind words. I hope it goes without saying, though I'll say it anyway, that I share the respect and affection I am given.

But back on point - I started out where Cereal is, as someone who thought "well that's sexy, and that sounds fun, and I'll take one of those, couple of these, four of those...." Once the novelty wore off I was able to clear my mind and enjoy someone else enjoying the moment. I stopped caring which kinks we were doing, so long as someone wanted them done. And that was the day I stopped being a fetishist slut and started being a submissive slut.

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