RE: Submissive Sincerity or no?

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RE: Submissive Sincerity or no? - 6/20/2006 11:52:51 AM

gypsyssoul

Posts: 127
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Balti., Maryland, living in Summerville SC
Status: offline

i agree .. but understand its hard .. to just move on

and forget things .. emotions .. and such

but .. i wish you the best in luck and letting go and finding that one for you ...

_____________________________

~~"I have always sought this other side, but like a flame I dare not touch, For like forbidden fruits of wild .. just one taste would be to much"...
~~ blessed be

(in reply to KaramelGoddess)

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RE: Submissive Sincerity or no? - 6/20/2006 10:13:12 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

We have all been there Lady Kim. Someone will start off fine and
then pull away gradually or simply vanish. The best advise has
already been given, take this as a learning experience and move on.

Blessed Be,

Vendaval

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsWillAdore

>sigh< So...I guess I have my answer, that in my heart, I already knew; but just didn't want to accept. Another online thrill seeker. I think what some people should remember is that Dom/Domme's have feelings, hopes, aspirations that are just as real as a sub/slave. (God, I hope no one flames on that statement.)

Hugs & Swats!
~~ Lady Kim ~~

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

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RE: Submissive Sincerity or no? - 6/21/2006 8:11:26 AM

Blueheat1959

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline

This particular issue is touching my life at this moment. I truly believe that some subs think that Domme's do not have feelings and that they don't get emotionally involved/attached with their sub or potential sub. Well that notion is incorrect from my perspective. I also feel that some subs are just thrill seekers, and have no real idea as to what the lifestyle entails as far as the mental aspect goes.....they are primarily focused on the sexual component of things without realizing that there is a progression of sorts to be experienced before engaging in sex. I for one have been asked by a certain sub, what my "philosophy" was about the lifestyle. I answered that I live my philosophy, I don't see a real need to write it down like it some manifesto. I also fine tune my approach according to the type of woymn I'm interacting with at the time...no 2 individuals are alike, so one's approach has to reflect the needs of the individual you are interacting with presently. This particular woymn does not understand my answer in reference to her question about my "philosophy" about D/s relationships. I enjoy the personality traits ...intellect....motivations, etc. that each new partner brings to the table and I adapt my approach to suit us both. Back to the progression of a D/s relationship....I first Insist on "getting to know" the woymn I'm bringing into my life, I want to know the underlying emotions/needs/history of her background....that is necessary for Me to tailor my approach to her, and therby be a sucessful Domme for her. So, no I do not have an iron-clad "philosophy" in place because for me, that severly limits My ability to enjoy what a particular sub has to offer. For instance, if a sub has certain past negative experiences that has scarred their lives, I will not bring those elements into our interactions...not even to "correct/punish" when the sub has failed to follow my rules/protocol. I am always sensitive to such things and would never emotionally/mentally/physically scar or damage a sub. I hope that other Domme's are comforted by the advice given by the members here....I know I have, and I thank the original poster for bringing up this topic, and wish her well. I feel your pain, and I too am working through such an issue....makes me think that perhaps we Domme's should Not expose our hearts to anyone, and steer clear of all subs who are just looking for a "good time charlie" or for a "thrill a minute" type of interaction, these types of subs are probably just immature thrill seekers who are not at all suitable for anything of a deeper nature.

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

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RE: Submissive Sincerity or no? - 6/21/2006 8:45:34 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

Sadly, I have pulled back from these fellows. If they don't write me what I want, boom, no interest and no engagement from me. If they start to flake, boom, disengage. And perhaps it's lost some guys who might have been able to be trained out of that nonsense, but I will not give my control, my attentions and my energy to someone who can't be bothered to return it. I've given freely of my heart and my control and too many times, guys turn tail chuckling that they've gotten their jollies and run off for more elsewhere. Enough.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to Blueheat1959)

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RE: Submissive Sincerity or no? - 6/21/2006 9:09:03 AM

Submotive

Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsWillAdore

After reading Lady Topaz's post on "Submissives w/ Dominant profiles" and replying to it... I have decided to create my own topic. I am pasting a paragraph from the reply I posted in her topic:

"While we are on the subject of "possible deception": how about some input on a sub/slave that seems to have interest in you & doesn't follow through with simple things that he says he is going to do? For example, HIM saying that he will call you if he is too busy to get online or not responding to emails that you know that he has read....etc. This of course being part of the process before meeting. We are/were supposed to meet this Wednesday (06/14/06), but after all of this... I am seriously debating that. I mean, I would probably end up getting the "shaft".. and not in a good way either... *laffs*!!!!!!!!!! He does give me reasons as to why he doesn't do the email thing, either he is busy...etc (he was just hired for a new job & tying up some loose ends)... but why can't he pick up the phone just to say... "Hey, I said I would call if I became too busy... I'm still busy but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you....blah blah blah"

This has happened to me before on here... but this time, wow... this "sub" really had/has MY mind wrapped around him. I can usually shrug it off, because it happens a lot....I don't know what is different about this one.

Any input would be greatly appreciated!

~~ Lady Kim ~~

i'm not a Mistress so i hope You don't mind that i've responded. i've been on the other end with the Dominant becoming quite flakey after a bit. Basically, my philosophy is people do what they want to do regardless of what else is going on. And, if they are sincerely interested and too much is going on, then they take pains to explain and attempt to correct the situation ASAP.

i read a book called "He's Just Not That Into You". It was very simple and very helpful. i learned to stop making excuses for men and accept that when they really want something or someone, nothing prevents them from moving forward. And if they're not all that interested, then i don't really care what the excuses are because i'm no longer interested in them. All i need to know is having me in his life is not all that important and it won't change later.

It's a shame that people have a knack for not considering what it's like on the other end of their actions, but it happens - alot. Fortunately for me, i did meet a wonderful Dom who is now my Master, and He is very committed to U/us.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

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RE: Submissive Sincerity or no? - 6/21/2006 10:00:43 PM

Blueheat1959

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/28/2006
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For clarification, my earlier post mentioned some discussion of my particular issues, and my present state of affairs with a woymn that I do respect and cherish. My subsequent remarks about the intentions of other subs in their interactions with Dommes, and the direction Domme's should take in response...are Not reflections of Her, or Her Character. My present circumstances are quite different, and the issues that concern U/us have and will be discussed and resolved. My apologies to Her...My Lady Diya, for any misunderstandings.....no disrespect was meant or intended. I will be certain to make my opinions known in a way that are true to the point of the present discussion without reference to personal experiences.

(in reply to Submotive)

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RE: Submissive Sincerity or no? - 6/22/2006 12:14:07 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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I've discovered over the years that we tend to place priorities on our interests.

A sub/slave who wishes to serve me should place me high (if not first) on his list of priorities. If I ask him for his time (in the form of email, journalling, or phone calls) and he cannot give me that, then how can I expect him to work effectively towards real life?

Serving me in person takes a lot more time and effort than anything I could ask from them long distance, so I take their comittment in long distance to be an indicator of theire potential comittment in real life.

(in reply to MsWillAdore)

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Post #: 27