RE: What do you feel as a sub when..?

RE: What do you feel as a sub when..? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

KaleidoKenlyn -> RE: What do you feel as a sub when..? (8/27/2012 8:42:39 AM)
We are thoroughly monogamous. If he were to want other partners, I don't think I could deal. I'm already a fairly insecure person. (Former chubby girl, plus some really bad relationships in the past which involved some abuse.) I try not to let my insecurities run my life, but him having someone else would be completely out of the question. I don't think he's insecure at all. We both know that I'm the chaser in the relationship (though it started the other way around). But I do think he'd have problems with me being intimate with other people as well, even women. We both see it the same way. Cheating is cheating. We're not fuck-buddies. We're in a relationship. And we're dedicated to one another.

subbingincalif -> RE: What do you feel as a sub when..? (8/27/2012 10:46:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fig555 It was good to read different opinions. The thing is I would never want more than one slave/sub - if he is willing to submit, I would train him well, so that there would be no need to look for anybody else. BUT he wants me to be poly - he encourages his mistress to go out and look for other slaves and tell him all the details. That part is hard to understand. Anyone can identify with this? Sounds like a pretty basic cuckholding fantasy.

DarkSteven -> RE: What do you feel as a sub when..? (8/28/2012 4:31:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fig555 It was good to read different opinions. The thing is I would never want more than one slave/sub - if he is willing to submit, I would train him well, so that there would be no need to look for anybody else. BUT he wants me to be poly - he encourages his mistress to go out and look for other slaves and tell him all the details. That part is hard to understand. Anyone can identify with this? Tell him no, as sweetly as possible. 1. This is HIS fantasy. You're the Domme. You listen to input from him, and then decide. This is something you haven't even heard of, and you're checking it out, but it's not something YOU want. You even state that you're wired for monogamy. So impose your will. 2. This is a helluva lot of work. Demanding STD tests, chasing other men and explaining how your relationship works, etc. For HIS fantasy, not yours. 3. When you're having sex with them, your emotions will be all over. You'll develop feelings for the other men. Your sub, who sounds inexperienced with cuckolding, will get insecure and bad things will result. To be brutal about it, you're wired for mono and will have no trouble finding a mono relationship. Your sub/slave can deal with that.

Fulldisclosure -> RE: What do you feel as a sub when..? (8/28/2012 7:26:48 AM)
Very timely question as i am experiencing this exact situation right now as my Mistress is actively engaging with other subs/slaves after a long hiatus from doing so. She informed me that She was going to begin engaging with others, so i was certainly not surprised when She did. As far as the specific feelings...wow, they run the gamut and really change day to day and situation by situation....from anger, to jealousy, to insecurity, to frustration, etc...and extends to happiness for Her in seeing Her happiness and excitement in engaging with new people...actually, the latter is the feeling i strive to achieve, but admittedly, it is not always that easy. Mistress constantly reinforces that i am and always will be primary and i appreciate that, but it does not quell all concerns. Generally, i think fear of the unknown is greater than fear of the known and believe that if goals and expectations are communicated honestly in both directions, then you have a better chance of having more positive feelings and possibly, even making the core relationship grow stronger. For example if Your Mistress/Master says they want a service slave to do housework but in their heart they really want a sub/slave to develop a strong emotional, physical, and possibly sexual attachment with, then you will likely have problems. Of course, you also never know who you will find until you look, so the reality will also be shaped by who the Dom/Domme winds up meeting and what develops from there. I could certainly not have envisioned all the amazing things that have happened to me since i met my Mistress several years ago! I also believe that it is very challenging knowing what, when, and how much to communicate as the Domme is meeting and interacting with new people - How much information is too much information and how little information can lead to bad assumptions or worse, plain distrust. Not an easy balance to navigate. I could go on, but will stop here. Thanks for a stimulating comment/question

Rochsub2009 -> RE: What do you feel as a sub when..? (8/28/2012 9:25:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fig555 The thing is I would never want more than one slave/sub - if he is willing to submit, I would train him well, so that there would be no need to look for anybody else. BUT he wants me to be poly - he encourages his mistress to go out and look for other slaves and tell him all the details. It's obvious that your sub wants to be cuckolded. But it sounds like you're not wired for that, so you should tell him that it's not going to happen, and then instruct him to refrain from asking about it again. After all, YOU'RE the Domme. He shouldn't be driving the ship, that's your job. So tell him to get his hand off of the steering wheel. ;-) As far as your original question, the answer differs for each couple. But there has to be an understanding upfront about whether the relationship is going to be monogamous or poly. If the answer is "poly", then you need to lay out clear rules that everyone understands and agrees to. I've been in both monogamous and poly D/s relationships, and I've been comfortable in both, because I always knew the rules, and thus, I knew what to expect. But to be clear, some people THINK they can handle poly, until they're actually in a poly relationship and jealousy sets in. The same is true of cuckolding. It's easy to fantasize about it. But it's a totally different thing when your wife or girlfriend is actually being f*cked by another man. You know the old saying; "Be careful of what you ask for, because you might just get it." [;)]

PrincessDonna11 -> RE: What do you feel as a sub when..? (8/28/2012 10:30:01 AM)
I look for subs that have the personality traits that I admire, one of them is to be competitive. There have been times when I felt a sub was slacking and brought in another sub (usually borrowed from a friend) to remind him that there is someone willing to pick up your slack.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875