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MariaB -> It took a whole heap of needles to calme me down! (8/26/2012 7:38:50 AM)
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I had been reading a thread on here about 'the right to life' and got myself all upset and angry about 'partial birth abortions'. By the time Steve arrived home from work I was in a real mood. I slopped his dinner onto a plate and informed him that I wouldn't be eating with him as I wasn't hungry.
Now Steve isn't one to miss a trick and wasn't going to sit back and ignore my misery without knowing what the hell was going on. After a little interrogation from him I suddenly became this insane, irrational and hysterical woman! (This rarely happens btw!) 'Did you know that they legally, in many parts of the world, kill babies that are almost full term just because they are the wrong sex?' I asked him. 'Do you know how they do this?' I continued. By now I was sobbing uncontrollably and saying stupid things like, 'I don't even know if I want to be part of this world anymore'.
Steve knew there was little he could say to comfort me. He held me tightly for a long time. He didn't even eat his dinner.
A little later he pulled out our needle box. 'What are you doing' I asked him. 'I'm going to do some needles on you' he answered. At first I resisted. I mean, one really has to be in the mood for this sort of thing and my mood was a very melancholy one but eventually I relented on the proviso that he didn't put too many in and that it needed to be on my terms, meaning, I chose where they went.
As I lay on a half a dozen soft pillows listening to a lovely piece of music, I felt each needle going in. Some times it was painful, sometimes it felt exquisite. Tears fell silently down my cheeks, my mascara marking the white cotton pillow slips beneath me. Steve said not a word. He understands about the journeys I make during this sort of play. He understands that he is just a tool to that journey.
He had finished now but he was gently caressing me and running his fingers over the needles (we are blood bonded btw!). Suddenly I had this amazing out of body experience. In front of me I could see a field full of lilac flowers. The flowers resembled clover flowers but they were taller and denser. As he touched the hub of each needle, I became the flowers being touched.
I was quickly brought out of this space/delusion or whatever one would want to call it, when he asked if I had, had enough.
The experience was cathartic and energizing.
We were then able to sit and discuss the earlier part of the evening rationally, knowing that it was okay to care about such things.
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