Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Changing Styles.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Changing Styles. Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 11:23:06 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		The BDSM on a budget thread made me think.

Time was I would have been all over that thread, singing the praises of spatulas and metal rulers and the weird little flat thing with the holes in it that (so I am told) has something to do with making pasta (but I'm fucked if I know what, exactly. If it was still in my possession I'd take a photo.)

But I can think of one time in the last six months or so that I've actually hit anybody with an impact toy that wasn't the belt I happened to be wearing at the time. And it's been at least a year since I picked up a flogger - mainly because I'm a full body contact person and I DON'T LIKE BEING SO FAR AWAY FROM MY PARTNER.

Impact play with toys used to be a massive part of wiitwd for me. Now they barely even feature. Actual *stuff* barely features at all (with the exception of clothespegs and belts, because I luuuuuuurve clothespegs and belts.) I've become a brain-and-bare-hands obsessive.

How has your style changed over [insert time period relevant to the purpose of your answer]?

I figure we've probably had this discussion before, but I thought that a snapshot in time might be nice - this way everyone who posts can come back again later and see how (or whether) they've changed again.



_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.



Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 11:37:19 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Kana here

Sure it has.
When I was a kid and new I was fascinated with all the gear. Bought tons of it, would bring bags into a dungeon and then, well,a "Ya have it it, ya have to use it" sorta mentality would creep in.
As I aged and matured, shit got simpler. Now I can bring one or two things and just go to town. Hell, once I grabbed the wrong bag and ended up at the Crucible with all my college textbooks, not whips and chains. Luckily I had a tool kit in the trunk, it's simply astounding how much you can get a woman to scream using nothing but bungee cords, pliers and a metal file.

And I also roll through phases. Sometimes I like impact things, belts, canes. Then I've had my years of being fascinated with whips, Restraint was big once, went out, then rolled back in. At one point I worked with 100% absolute slavery, owned piece of fuck meat with zero rights or privileges allowed or granted, then I got softer, now I'm moving back.
Curse, I do this in other areas. I've been a tit guy, a leg and ass guy, fascinated with hips, gone for bubble butts and then gals with da ghetto booty. For a few years I was obsessed with the line that the pelvic bone makes on a womans stomach-it's just like an offramp headed to Snatchville.
Some of this has to do with me. Where I'm at in that stage of my life, mentally, physically, spiritually.
Some it has to do with her, whatever her it was at the time. What she likes, what she doesn't, the tripwires in her head, what makes her tick, what makes her cunt explode like a fireworks show on the fourth of July.
Lots and lots of the time it has everything to do with the dynamic that grows.

Hope that helps

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 8/26/2012 11:38:03 AM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 11:38:31 AM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline 		I go by a flow. Whatever works at the time. If my girl wanted me to use toys I would; but as was neatly demonstrated during our last visit, they aren't necessary. I think it has a lot to do with the mood at the time, hers as much as mine. It's not super uber assert-o-Dom, but meh. Who cares? I can be when I wish to be, but with her, we have something unique; and I'm fine with following through on that however works best for both of us.

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 11:41:51 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

the weird little flat thing with the holes in it that (so I am told) has something to do with making pasta


It is a pasta portion measurer. The amount that fits in the hole is either 1, 2, 3, or 4 portions (depending on the measurer).

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 11:47:09 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir

quote:

the weird little flat thing with the holes in it that (so I am told) has something to do with making pasta


It is a pasta portion measurer. The amount that fits in the hole is either 1, 2, 3, or 4 portions (depending on the measurer).


Right you are! I googled it to check. It wasn't as cool as this one, but it was a similar idea.

I am amazed at the font of knowledge this place continues to be. Thank you!

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 12:17:36 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Hi VC. Good to see you around the place again.

Like Kana, I tend to go through phases. I really started out as an impact player. The love affair that I have with floggers and such really is genuine. Different weights, different textures, different sensations. I have damn near as much fun caressing a good leather whip as I do using. (Ok, maybe that's a stretch.)

Unlike you, I only do full contact if I'm doing a take down or some such thing. They aren't really My preference. However, other types of play get Me close to My partner. Stuff like needles, fire, and wax that don't keep Me more than an arm's length away. I completely understand those who prefer these types because there is an additional element of intimacy. The space is different too, for Me.

It's funny that you asked. I've been sitting here going over the options of what kind of play I want to do this afternoon and I think I'm going back more to the needle phase. It seems like that's My go to preference lately.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 12:47:27 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Oooh, nice topic.

This reminds me of a movie clip in which Jet Li as Hou explains tea and martial arts in the movie Fearless. tea conversation (movie clip - Fearless)

I once used this as an example about how there is no one true way in BDSM. I now now offer it as an example of how changing styles isn't really changing styles for me. I feed off the connection not the style in which it is made. I see it all as one and making that deep connection is the core of my style. So as I migrate through what appears to be various styles and interests over the years, at my core I simply use whatever style serves to connect us best.

Transcript of video conversation:

Tanaka: Mr. Huo, according to what you say, you don’t really know the nature of tea.

Huo: It’s not that I don’t know. I don’t really want to know. Because I don’t care about evaluating teas. Tea is tea.

Tanaka: But each tea has its own character and properties.

Huo: What is the purpose of grading? These many teas are grown in nature, all of them. Is there a discernible difference?

Tanaka: Yes, once you learn this, you can tell the difference between the teas.

Huo: What you say may be right, but the way I see it is, the tea doesn’t judge itself. It’s people that judge its grading. Different people choose different things. As for me, as far as I’m concerned, I just don’t want to make any choice.

Tanaka: - Oh, is that so?

Huo: - Drinking tea is a mood, really. If you are in a good mood, the grade of tea doesn’t matter.

Tanaka: I've never looked at it like that. I understand that there are many wushu fighting styles. Are you saying that no style is greater than another?

Huo: That’s what I’m saying.

Tanaka: If that is true, I want to ask you: If wushu does not differ in any way, why do we fight each other?

Huo: I believe for all the styles of wushu, there is no single one that is superior. All of those who practice different styles of wushu, they would naturally have a different level of skill. Through competition, we can discover ourselves.

Tanaka: What you just said makes me have more respect for you.

I hope you enjoyed the clip and the perspective it conveys.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 12:56:25 PM   
KaleidoKenlyn


Posts: 108
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline 		Ours isn't exactly a series of phases. It's more of a day-to-day thing. There is generally a theme each time though: breath play (my favorite, but it doesn't get to happen very often), wax, impact, fire, knife Today was ropes and hands. *Drools on self.* And sometimes it's just whatever is handy. But I really don't think I'd like it if something were to stop being used completely. I love the diversity we have.

_____________________________

Darwin was right, Death doesn't play fair.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 1:27:52 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		We started out using toys and such, just a bunch of different things, and have gone to pretty much nothing but what his hands can do, or what he asks from me. Our time in the bedroom is always kinky, but for the last year and a half or so we've used things on the fly, like belts and nylons instead of our proper toys that are for that purpose. We've been together over 3 1/2 years. I also used to wear a metal ring type collar 24/7 and since having to take it off last summer for a school program that I'm in, I haven't really even worn that or our leather play collar on the weekends. It's like we've gone from wanting and using the accoutrements of BDSM to having it be more of a mental state.

I got to thinking about this recently and when we went off on a vacation 2 weeks ago, suggested to him that we bring some toys, which he packed, and then we never used lol. I had even brought my leather collar, put it on and one of us took it off about 30 min later and it sat on the hotel bedside table for the rest of the trip. I don't know, it used to be that we used this stuff, now we just don't. I kind of miss it and then again I don't. I have been tossing it around though to suggest a full on balls to the walls session with every toy/prop in the book. The wooden frame, the chains, the rope, the cuffs, the wax, etc, just to do it again and kind of reconnect with our toy collection, hahaha.


(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/26/2012 3:04:39 PM   
Jaquin


Posts: 156
Joined: 12/12/2011
Status: offline 		I'm still pretty new to it all, compared to others, but my style has always been rope. I love rope, the artistic styles or just the simple restraint powers, I love how it can flow around curves and accentuate them.

Though I find I am growing to like impact play a lot more as time and experience goes on. So I don't know if my style is changing, but growing - which is a form of change really.

_____________________________

"The feeling of freedom, and freedom denied."

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/28/2012 6:49:22 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		OT: the weird thing with the holes in it for making pasta is probably a spaetzle maker.

He uses less stuff from the toy bag as much because we don't have that much time to play, and why spend half of it getting stuff out, as because he knows me so well, he can do as much with less.

Why bother digging through the clamp bag if you can get the same result with just your fingers?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Jaquin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/29/2012 6:53:31 AM   
Asfixation


Posts: 43
Joined: 3/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:


How has your style changed over [insert time period relevant to the purpose of your answer]?


If you count a shift from slave to sub to switch to Domme to owner a change of style then yes I've changed style. I count all my time prior to the last four years as learning to 'cook'.

And btw a turkey baster and a lemon squeezer just got added to my kit. By Xmas the itchen might be lighter.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/29/2012 7:11:43 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Lots and lots of changes in the 35 years I've been doing this.

I started out as a dom, strictly a casual player, into impact and sensation play, into the toys, and certainly far more into the reactions I got than the people I got them from.

At that time I was only into the sex in terms of it being a hefty item in my arsenal of torture tools. As in: You want sex with me? Let's see how well you beg. . .

Ohhh...I liked begging and groveling back then. Can't stand it now.

From there finally accepted my sub side and was in d/s relationship for 20 years.

For the past 15 years I've accepted that I have both sides and need to give rein to both sides to be happy and well adjusted. And I'm not into casual play, it's all about the relationship to me.

Although I still enjoy impact and sensation play, it's the mental aspects that float my boat. That's the bondage *I'm* into.

But then the years have taken their toll. Last week when Himself picked up a flogger, it was to give me an all over body massage of my fav kind.






_____________________________



(in reply to Asfixation)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/29/2012 7:26:20 AM   
LordOdinn


Posts: 34
Joined: 10/22/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt



Although I still enjoy impact and sensation play, it's the mental aspects that float my boat. That's the bondage *I'm* into.

But then the years have taken their toll. Last week when Himself picked up a flogger, it was to give me an all over body massage of my fav kind.





And a good time was had by all!

_____________________________

Chatte Wrangler Extraordinaire
I used to be LordOdhinn but I got the H out of there!!!

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/29/2012 8:12:15 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Way back when, I didn't have a lot of toys, and didn't need them. I have a lot of toys now, and still don't *need* them. It depends on what I want to do, and whether I want to touch my playmate with my hands or have that implement be the thing in the middle.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LordOdinn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Changing Styles. - 8/29/2012 4:48:30 PM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		I am most happy with my fly fishing rod tube. Inside are ratan canes and 2roo whips . That and my hands , I am good to go.

_____________________________

_"Here is something you should never do to anyone.And here is exactly how to do it to someone you care about". Flagg._



(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 16
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Changing Styles. Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094