profile help (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Introductions] >> Introduce yourself



Message

KarlR -> profile help (8/27/2012 2:20:28 PM)

Hello to all who resd this. I have been on this site for a few months but I am having no luck with any of the local matches I am getting. I think the problem is with my profile on the site but I am not sure what it is specifically. If anyone has a moment please take a look at my profile and offer any suggestions you think might be helpful. the only thing I can think of is the picture but the journals explain that part of it. any advice is helpful.



WomanlyWiles -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 2:29:00 PM)

It says absolutely nothing about your personality, your interests or what you have to offer. It also says nothing about what you're looking for in a woman. It's just a short and non specific paragraph about kink. Ask yourself why would anyone be interested in that.



OsideGirl -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 2:32:40 PM)

Your profile says nothing other than you want a slave and plan to do whatever you want to them.




KarlR -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 2:33:58 PM)

That does make a lot of sense. Now I actually feel like an idiot for missing such an obvious problem. Now I have edited my profile and I might some more if I get more suggestions. Thx for anyont who takes time to give me their advice.



DaddySatyr -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 2:44:22 PM)

I don't have time to spoon feed it so, just in a very general way; your profile which is supposed to tell people who you are (in as much as a profile can truly do that) needs to tell peope who KarlR is.

You need to talk about what you like to do on a Sunday afternoon and little tidbits of your life.



Peace and comfort,



Michael



BambiBoi -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:03:59 PM)

Just as a warning, you came to the boards for advice and help. You've opened the door, remember that as you read:

quote:

Original: Some Bloke's Terrible Profile:

I am looking for a sub maybe even a slave and while I plan to do whatever I want to them I am more interested in humiliating an objectifying them. I like the idea that they might not want to do what I say but have no choice. I am mostly looking for online now because of how hectic school and work are but IF the woman is special I might make an exception. I want someone who can be discrete but is looking for more of a long term lifestyle relationship.Also one big think is I have a huge oral fetish so if you are interested be prepared for a lit of "lip service". Feel free to message me at anytime if you are curious or like what you see and ask anything you want.


You know what this says? This says "I'm not sure, but I know I want a blowjob an you're not going to like it." I will help you word-for-word, line-by-line if you do me a favor. Scrap everything. Delete that pussy-repellant you call a journal and start over. Write about yourself and why a woman would want you as a friend, as a lover. Why do your vanilla guy friends like you? Do not write about write about what makes you a good prospective dominant. (We will work on that later).

Take a reality check too. You're not doing anyone a huge favor by letting them meet you to suck your dick. Any woman has men LINED UP for that grand privilege. Be honest about your availability, real life experience, and show some humility. You smell green. You're new, and that's just fine. But you're trying to mask it, and that doesn't work. If some Bambi Bimbo Boi can figure it out without woman's intuition, you bet dem broads have your number.

Lastly get a picture up. I don't show my face in my profile picture, but there's something. Put a picture of you tussling some dog's fur or far away climbing a tree or some artistic blurry shitty sights in Detroit. I understand the need for discretion, but nothing says "come meet me at the corner of 21st and Rape Alley" like a profile with no picture.

Do all this, and Master Bambi will help you, Little One.





Whenready -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:04:11 PM)

Lobs in 2c. Don't assume I'm right.

Picky but the word is "discreet". Discrete is separate.

The profile sings "mememe...." to me. I want this, that and the other but it has to be our secret.... it comes across as (to me) immature. On the one hand you can do whatever you like, but she has to be interested in a (secret) possibly long term relationship. It doesn't quite match up. Oh, and you want blow jobs - lots of them (presumably also discreet). Oh, and online too.

Now, I don't know if this will translate from UK English to American English, but it comes across as wanting wank fodder. And you know what people who wank are called. That MIGHT explain some of the reactions you're getting.

Make it attractive. Make your contacts WANT to know more. I read it, and I don't.... good luck!



OsideGirl -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:09:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi


Take a reality check too. You're not doing anyone a huge favor by letting them meet you to suck your dick. Any woman has men LINED UP for that grand privilege. Be honest about your availability, real life experience, and show some humility. You smell green. You're new, and that's just fine. But you're trying to mask it, and that doesn't work. If some Bambi Bimbo Boi can figure it out without woman's intuition, you bet dem broads have your number.


A much less PC version of what I was thinking. If I were looking at that profile, my first thought would be "What's in it for me?"

There's this internet/porn idea that submissives are altruistic, just want to serve and will do so as if they don't have needs or wants that should be satisfied. That idea is false.



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:10:23 PM)

Better already, it's good to lead with your vanilla interests. Still needs checking for a few spelling/typing errors.

I note your journal says you aren't going to put up a picture but I do think it is worth doing, even if you need to blur out your face. Every little helps. Pick one where you're fully clothed, preferably one that hints at your interests or social life (but obviously with no one else in the picture).

Your paragraph about your kink interests is fine but could be broken into smaller chunks for easier reading. (Though as others have said, wanting oral sex isn't a huge selling point)

Good luck.

Edit: Also bear in mind that having roommates, wanting online only, being too busy for a full time relationship - these aren't in your favour either. Don't get me wrong - best to be upfront about it - but don't expect women to be falling over themselves either. I know I want someone who can make me somewhat of a priority, and still having roommates does make you seem a bit younger/less mature




KarlR -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:17:25 PM)

So first to everyone who is commenting thank you. Second to everyone here I guess I cone across as inexperienced so I should not be suprised by everything I have been told. I am looking for a good picture but now I have stuff about me and the person I am looking for. I will also add a kink section that is more about what I have to offer.



BambiBoi -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:17:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: BambiBoi


Take a reality check too. You're not doing anyone a huge favor by letting them meet you to suck your dick. Any woman has men LINED UP for that grand privilege. Be honest about your availability, real life experience, and show some humility. You smell green. You're new, and that's just fine. But you're trying to mask it, and that doesn't work. If some Bambi Bimbo Boi can figure it out without woman's intuition, you bet dem broads have your number.


A much less PC version of what I was thinking. If I were looking at that profile, my first thought would be "What's in it for me?"

There's this internet/porn idea that submissives are altruistic, just want to serve and will do so as if they don't have needs or wants that should be satisfied. That idea is false.




Ok... I admit I was mean. But I got in before KarlR's second draft. It was baaaaad when I jumped on board to help the sinking ship. I can help KarlR express the assets of less appealing elements by highlighting the silver linings. But first, I need to see a profile that has the kind of charm that makes me think I'm helping a lost and confused good man. Not trying to get some wanker laid.



LadyPact -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:23:58 PM)

First of all, your profile or it's review don't have anything to do with General bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism. That is an off topic post or if you wanted to direct it to s types, should have gone to that board.

As to your question, straight to the point. If you were a female sub, would you want you from that profile? What are you really offering? You don't mention anything about having any experience in this realm or what you are doing to obtain it. Truthfully, from your profile, you do sound quite busy, so between your studies, your part time job, and your gaming, exactly when does the relationship fit in? A lot of folks think this is the "easy" way to get sex on demand (or command, as the case may be) but it's really not. There are no shortcuts.

Everybody thinks they are great dating material, but the truth is that not everybody is good dating material. That's even more pronounced when we're talking about adding power exchange or kinks into the mix.



sexyred1 -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:30:22 PM)

I don't know which version I am looking at, but right now what I am looking at is fine. You sound like a nice 22 year old guy who is interested in an 18-35 sub, you list your interests and you sound normal.

Not sure what the issue is. I prefer a nice profile like this than all the lunatic fringe profiles.



OsideGirl -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:40:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I don't know which version I am looking at, but right now what I am looking at is fine. You sound like a nice 22 year old guy who is interested in an 18-35 sub, you list your interests and you sound normal.

Not sure what the issue is. I prefer a nice profile like this than all the lunatic fringe profiles.


Bambi has the original profile in on of the posts above. But, yes, it is much improved.



KarlR -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 3:56:57 PM)

So now to everyone here I am going to make a few updates as of 6:58 so give me ten minutes to make the changes and then tell me what you think. I understand all the stuff about it sounding suspicious even though that was not my intent. I am also sorry about posting this in the wrong section, I didnt see the correct place so I posted it here thinking it was ok under the general topic. like I have said before thx for the comments. I also hope this thread might help others in the future to not make the same mistakes I made.



VideoAdminGamma -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 4:46:53 PM)

Fast reply

This topic is now in Introductions.

Thanks,
Gamma



OsideGirl -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 5:12:48 PM)

That is MUCH better.



DarkSteven -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 5:23:42 PM)

Karl, I realized that the profile is much improved but it still sounds diffident and indirect. You're a DOM! Be DIRECT! Example: You say

As to who I am: I am a 22 year old college student almost done with my bachelors degree. I consider myself to be a laid back and relaxed person. I work part time and as long as school is not in the way then I work full time. I am a big gamer and I also consider myself a bit of a chef but I am not an expert. I love driving and when I am on long trips I begin to feel like the car is more of an extension of myself that a vehicle. Needless to say then I am a bit of a racing fan. Not NASCAR but Grand Prix.

Cut it down to

I'm a 22 year old student graduating in December 2012 with a BS in FIELD. I'm laid back and relaxed, a gamer and amateur chef, and am a Grand Prix fan. I love driving and when I am on long trips I begin to feel like the car is more of an extension of myself than a vehicle.

(Yeah, I know I told you to abbreviate it but that "extension of myself" thing was cool.)

Next paragraph:

As to what I am looking for: I am looking for a female sub maybe even a slave. I am not looking for some super model so I can say as to what I want them to look like but as for age ranges 18-35. Any older depends on the person but no one over 45 because that is getting to the age on my parents and that is just a little weird to me. I am not picky about any skin color. Of course I would love to have a sexy little thing, but as far a weight goes, just because someone might be a little bigger dosen't mean I'm not interested.

Change to:

I'm looking for a female sub, age 18-35, possibly up to 45. I have no race preferences, and want someone slender, medium, or just a few extra pounds.

No point adding that bit about your parents' ages and, frankly, at 22 you'll have a hard time attracting any woman in her thirties let alone forties. That bit about "of course I want a sexy little thing BUT" says that you don't really want anyone with extra weight but will settle for that if you have to. That will turn off any overweight women and some HWP ones as well. No offense, but at 250 lbs, you might need to be a bit open minded. Also, forget about a slave - there aren't many of them, and they'd want to begin as a sub anyway. Slavery is a relationship that gets eased into.

Saying that you want to explore every avenue of BDSM implies that you want to play with scat, pony play, blood, etc. And don't bother to say "If you like what you read, feel free to message me". You're the man (and the Dom) - expect to take the initiative.

Welcome to collarme.




gungadin09 -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 5:29:02 PM)

What Steven said.

Pam

ETA: Also, say more about yourself, reveal your personality.



Kaiel -> RE: profile help (8/27/2012 5:36:26 PM)

Hello and welcome :)



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
3.076172E-02