RE: REFERENCES

RE: REFERENCES (Full Version)

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kalikshama -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 6:05:54 AM)
quote: I think it's a great idea to ask for references. Not so much for the references themselves, but for how the Dom answers the question. Indeed.

OsideGirl -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 7:43:49 AM)
The perfect example: There was a serial rapist that stalked the SoCal room on AOL. I had received a warning about him from an acquaintance. She had contacted me prior to that, as he had chosen me to become a secondary submissive to him and sent her to recruit me. (I knew her prior to that) When he came into the SoCal chatroom I relayed what K had said and gave a warning to everyone in the room that he had put a submissive in the hospital with severe injuries. After that I received "references" from all of his friends. (Unasked for) He went on to rape 8 women in 6 months and he was out on parole.

GreedyTop -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 8:04:19 AM)
I think I remember that guy...

JeffBC -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 8:13:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Do you really think if you asked me for a reference that I'd give you the name of someone that would speak ill of me???? REALLY a lil bit of common sense goes a long way. chuckles I do... in job interviews and any other similar situation... this would definitely count. I try to give some folks who hate me, some folks who love me, and some folks in between. That way the person evaluating me gets a [hopefully] more complete image.

OsideGirl -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 8:27:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I think I remember that guy... Yeah, it was a joy having the LA police at the Sportsman's Social, wasn't it? He had a different screenname the first time I outted him. He changed it to CorndogzNcupcakes (something along those lines). It sticks out in my mind because I remember I was in CT for my uncle's funeral, when I was talking to Flash and he told me that guy had been arrested.

GreedyTop -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 9:19:25 AM)
FLASH!! I miss Flash :) I missed the whole LEO presence there, because I wasn't able to attend as often as I would have liked.

OsideGirl -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 9:30:11 AM)
Flash and A were the people that first dragged me out to a social and introduced me to Master for the very first time.

graceadieu -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 10:21:53 AM)
I've never asked anybody for references. I prefer to just get to know people. I suppose, if I were looking to do a risky or complicated kind of scene with someone that I didn't know very well, I'd probably ask for references from the local community, to make sure they actually know what they're doing. But I'm not really into edge play, and even if I were I can't see myself doing something like that with someone I didn't enormously trust.

SailingBum -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 10:52:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum Do you really think if you asked me for a reference that I'd give you the name of someone that would speak ill of me???? REALLY a lil bit of common sense goes a long way. chuckles I do... in job interviews and any other similar situation... this would definitely count. I try to give some folks who hate me, some folks who love me, and some folks in between. That way the person evaluating me gets a [hopefully] more complete image. Oddly enuff the only time i can remember being asked for ref was years ago when I was job hunting. BadOne

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 10:58:07 AM)
I wouldn't ask anyone for refrences, I'm not looking to hire them. I have, in the past, networked, watched how someone I was interested in treated his submissive/bottom - interacted with others. No matter how you go about it, the only way to REALLY know a person, is to get to know them.

RedMagic1 -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 7:36:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: culareD Should a sub ask for references when considering engaging with a Dom? This question can really apply to a sub engaging with anyone.... If someone asked me for references, it would depend on whether I knew them in real life. If we were just emailing, then the people I know and care about will remain anonymous. If someone who knows me in real life is asking, we can go meet my best friend, or I could ask a friend of mine if she (usually a she) would like to email or call the person asking. To me, it's a boundary issue. If you want to get into my life, you need to demonstrate that you are (a) a decent person and (b) not fucking crazy, before I let you know about my periphery. Why should I put anyone but myself at risk when I am getting to know someone?

GreedyTop -> RE: REFERENCES (8/29/2012 8:54:36 PM)
I have offered to try to arrange an intro to one person I know from online to another. I make no guarantees.

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