RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s?

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (Full Version)

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MistressDarkArt -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/30/2012 8:14:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessJessieJ (not rinsers here, not talking about rinsers.) 'Rinsers'? Not familiar with that term, definition please PrincessJ?

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/30/2012 9:04:20 PM)
Not sure what a "rinser" is either. I think I have hear of it in a thread once before. If I am not mistaken, Lance was telling us something about it. Aries, I might be persuaded. I do like chocolates and flowers. Ooooh Ooooh Ooooh and I love love love clothes for CoCo. Just putting that out there. Teehee. But back to the topic, I think there are certain aspects of fin Domme that I try to be different in. Who knows, I just do what I like. So far it works. :)

ARIES83 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/30/2012 9:17:32 PM)
Like bartering! Hmm... I don't think I have any clothes that would fit CoCo. [;)] -ARIES

littlewonder -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/30/2012 9:35:44 PM)
There are men who want to give a woman all their money as their fetish. There are women who take it as their fetish. So yeah, it's legitimate.

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/30/2012 10:35:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ARIES83 Like bartering! Hmm... I don't think I have any clothes that would fit CoCo. [;)] -ARIES Teehee [;)]

Kana -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 7:54:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder There are men who want to give a woman all their money as their fetish. There are women who take it as their fetish. So yeah, it's legitimate. Hey, have I mentioned this brand new fetish I found that I loooooooove?

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 8:14:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDemeter9 I find it interesting that on a site that specifically asks it's members to be open minded and understand the different kinks and perspectives of all members, there does seem to be a lot of hatred for fin doms. I agree. There has always been a lot of venom aimed at financial Dommes on these boards. I'm not sure why. quote: For me, the gifts and tributes I receive are very much integral to the worship and control I seek from subs. I do not want to bankrupt anyone and nor do I want to take money from someone who may not trust me. I do not want to be 'paid' for the play that I enjoy. To me it is as much part of the play as the humiliation or punishment that a enjoy subjecting my subs to. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Hopefully, it will help some to realize that financial domination can be a legitimate form of power exchange and humiliation.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 8:22:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaiel Roch good thread, love! Thank You, Ma'am. [:)] quote: I don't consider Myself a fin-Domme by any means, however, it is apart of our household dynamic. I do have control over all our household finances. My hubby-sub is the primary breadwinner- although I work and am a professional in My field. his field simply allows him to yield 10x's the money I make. That being said, he has to ask permission to spend $ over a certain dollar amount. In the past, with other (now released slaves) I controlled their finances and they willingly submitted to the financial domination. For Me, it wasn't about the money, it's all about the control. And that is the type of financial domination that we don't hear about enough on these boards. Your hubby-sub makes most of the money, but you control it, and he has to ask Your permission to spend it. i know that for You it is all about control. Power exchange and control is Your kink. You control what Your subs wear, what they eat, and what they do. So for You, money is just another element of that control. If they belong to You, You are going to control every facet of their life. That's very different from the model that we usually hear about where the spoiled princesses ask total strangers to send them cash while giving very little in return.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 8:34:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: Kaiel I don't consider Myself a fin-Domme by any means, however, it is apart of our household dynamic. I do have control over all our household finances. My hubby-sub is the primary breadwinner- although I work and am a professional in My field. his field simply allows him to yield 10x's the money I make. That being said, he has to ask permission to spend $ over a certain dollar amount. In the past, with other (now released slaves) I controlled their finances and they willingly submitted to the financial domination. For Me, it wasn't about the money, it's all about the control. Actually, the majority of the money was returned to them upon their release. And i don't consider that fin-Domme at all. When you're talking about actual relationships then the question of money handling is an issue that all relationships face... vanilla and otherwise. Heck, I control the finances in my marriage and I just think of it as "M/s" not "fin-Dom". For me, I attach the term "fin-Domme" to an online or long distance relationship where really the subs are sending money and that is the essence of the relationship. But even though you consider controlling to be the finances to be a part of M/s, isn't that really financial domination. After all, you probably control ALL of the money, even that portion that she earned. And she probably has little/no ability to dispute the decisions that you make, or to spend money without your permission. That's dominating the finances. Thus, I think it's fair to call it "financial domination". The point is that many of us have gotten used to thinking of financial domination as being the exclusive realm of the spoiled princesses, and we don't even recognize or acknowledge the many other forms that financial domination can take on.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 8:42:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Are you really sure that you want to stick with that? Is that really how you see it? It was just a quick analogy that I came up with. It may not have been as precise as it could have been. But it's a bit off topic, so I'd prefer not to delve into it further here.

KYsissy -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 8:44:28 AM)
To me, financial domination outside the context of a relationship is akin to the "masters" who use Ds to find blowjob delivery systems. But as long as all parties involved consent and get what they want, who am I to say it is wrong? I am sure the same level of snark would be directed at a male who was clearly after bjs on tap.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 8:50:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KYsissy To me, financial domination outside the context of a relationship is akin to the "masters" who use Ds to find blowjob delivery systems. Very good analogy. I like that. quote: I am sure the same level of snark would be directed at a male who was clearly after bjs on tap. Actually, I'd have to disagree with that sentiment. We get anti-findom threads on these boards every week. People start threads simply to say "I hate fin doms", or "All findoms are leeching prostitutes". I don't see the same number of threads aimed at "blowjob Doms", nor do I see nearly as much venom directed towards them. We even have a regular poster on these boards who makes a running joke out of just being into D/s for the blowjobs. But as I said earlier, I agree with you that "financial Dommes" (at least the spoiled princess type) and "blowjob Doms" are two sides of the same coin. I just think that people get much more emotional when money is involved.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 8:59:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDemeter9 I find it interesting that on a site that specifically asks it's members to be open minded and understand the different kinks and perspectives of all members, there does seem to be a lot of hatred for fin doms. I can understand the hatred from subs who may have been scammed by fakes or scammers, but we are not all the same! It has a lot to do with how the majority of them behave on these forums. They arrive acting like bitches, make demands of the forum posters and then throw temper tantrums when no one will do what they demanded. Especially, the women that come with lines like "I need ideas to humiliate my slave on cam" and then throw a temper tantrum when people refuse to do her job for her.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 9:05:51 AM)
This is from a 20 something "FinDomme" blog. She was one of the ones that threw a temper tantrum all over the forum: quote: I'm fed up with subs that come to me and throw me $20-$50 to show me they're serious and then they disappear after a few weeks. She has a problem retaining subs. What's entertaining is that she doesn't seem to grasp that whole adage "If you meet 10 people and you think they're all assholes.....you're the one that is the asshole".

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 9:49:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: I'm fed up with subs that come to me and throw me $20-$50 to show me they're serious and then they disappear after a few weeks. She has a problem retaining subs. What's entertaining is that she doesn't seem to grasp that whole adage "If you meet 10 people and you think they're all assholes.....you're the one that is the asshole". The financial Dommes have to understand that they're effectively operating as a business. As with any business, getting a customer to try your product/service is easy. It's getting them to return that's hard. The business has to provide a quality product or service in order to get repeat customers. This financial Domme doesn't seem like she's doing that. Of course, I don't know her, so I'm just speculating.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 10:07:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: I'm fed up with subs that come to me and throw me $20-$50 to show me they're serious and then they disappear after a few weeks. She has a problem retaining subs. What's entertaining is that she doesn't seem to grasp that whole adage "If you meet 10 people and you think they're all assholes.....you're the one that is the asshole". The financial Dommes have to understand that they're effectively operating as a business. As with any business, getting a customer to try your product/service is easy. It's getting them to return that's hard. The business has to provide a quality product or service in order to get repeat customers. This financial Domme doesn't seem like she's doing that. Of course, I don't know her, so I'm just speculating. Exactly. She's also selling an image. But her blog is filled with whining about her relationship with her boyfriend, her finances, people that don't follow through and her mother....which while she may find it interesting, I'm sure it blows her image with the subs that read her blog.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 10:18:04 AM)
He he - sounds a bit like a three year old - whine whine whine and then wonder why no-one wants to be around her. and OP - this type of behaviour is why findoms get a bad rap on this board.... just from what Oside quoted would put me off them as being money grubber, can't-handle-their-own-lives, why would i want to give my money to her people. And yes, its a gross generalisation to extrapolate all that from one person, but a lot of people judge a group by the actions of one person.

PrincessJessieJ -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 10:23:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessJessieJ (not rinsers here, not talking about rinsers.) 'Rinsers'? Not familiar with that term, definition please PrincessJ? A rinser is a 'Findomme' who just takes the sub or slaves money and runs- no more talking to them afterwards, no communications or time spent on the sub, period. At it's most basic- a thief, and not actually a Financial Domme at all.

TNDommeK -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 10:48:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 He he - sounds a bit like a three year old - whine whine whine and then wonder why no-one wants to be around her. and OP - this type of behaviour is why findoms get a bad rap on this board.... just from what Oside quoted would put me off them as being money grubber, can't-handle-their-own-lives, why would i want to give my money to her people. And yes, its a gross generalisation to extrapolate all that from one person, but a lot of people judge a group by the actions of one person. This^ I have often wondered how one could ever been in control of anothers finances when they aren't even control of their own. They have no car, no home. One time, I swear y'all on the other side I saw a chica who said she was a fin domme and had a sheet tacked up to the wall as a curtain, mattress on the floor, and room was a hot mess. I'm not saying one has to be a millionaire already to be a fin Domme, but damn..Dollar General has curtains for $5 each. Just saying. Seriously though, I think that one thing that sets most apart from those types of girls is the fact that they can walk away or deny the subs tribute at any point. I have heard a few subs complain about "well if I am paying and she is staying doesn't that make me the top" No it doesn't it makes you the idiot who thinks I don't have four more just like you and can walk away from you and your money.

OsideGirl -> RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? (8/31/2012 10:50:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 He he - sounds a bit like a three year old - whine whine whine and then wonder why no-one wants to be around her. and OP - this type of behaviour is why findoms get a bad rap on this board.... just from what Oside quoted would put me off them as being money grubber, can't-handle-their-own-lives, why would i want to give my money to her people. And yes, its a gross generalisation to extrapolate all that from one person, but a lot of people judge a group by the actions of one person. Seriously, would you follow someone that wrote this? quote: Most of my clothes were destroyed [yay, naked domme], no not quite. Some of my favorite items, and my favorite bra that cost me $38 were destroyed by my boyfriend's dogs. We've been trying to find a sub loyal enough to fence in our back yard, creating a sanctuary for them. Every time we leave the house, we currently have to lock the dogs in the basement. Cruel, I know. But they got back at us. The one evening we went away, we came home to find that the dogs had broken down the basement door and went on a rampage through the house. Garbage was everywhere, they pissed and shit all over the house and almost everything I had down in my room was eaten, broken, or soiled.... My relationship is almost over. We're at a point where we're breaking up twice a month. It hurts me because this is the second longest relationship I've ever had. Our problem is that he wants a girlfriend with sub-like tendancies - he wants me to clean up after him and blah blah blah. It's when I refuse that he gets pissed off, abusive, and kicks me out. We get back together because I have nowhere else to go. That's why I'm going to kick myself into over-drive with my cam site and my domination, so I can start saving up to get my own place. Hopefully some of you loyal subs can help out with that. (FYI, that relationship is about 6 months old.)

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