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RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 11:11:54 AM

Zonie63

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Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
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Words have power only for those initiated into the meanings, history, and context behind a given term. If someone speaks a different language or doesn't know a word or the connotation behind it, then it won't have any power at all.

By the same token, it's difficult to know the intent behind someone's choice of words, since not everyone uses words correctly or understands all the nuances of meaning in different cultural contexts. This is why political correctness can confound and frustrate many people, since words which were considered okay to use many years ago are now being regarded as offensive. The power of the word seems to change with the ebb and flow of power within our society and culture.

But words also have to be accurate, so I recognize the need to resist being labeled or lumped into a certain category, especially if a word might also be used pejoratively. This also happens a lot with political rhetoric, and I've noticed in a lot of political discussions where there's a tendency to want to demonize one's opposition. If one recognizes it in that context, then it loses some of its sting and power. The meanings of the words may not change, but their accuracy can still be questioned if they're being misapplied or used in the wrong context.

(in reply to TNDommeK)

Post #: 1041

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 12:34:08 PM

TNDommeK

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Exactly

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Post #: 1042

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 12:52:06 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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quote:

I often get approached by those looking to be bankrupted, with the sentence 'Please break me, take everything'

Even though I'm a sub myself, I still find subs way, way more difficult to understand than I do dominants.

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Post #: 1043

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 1:55:04 PM

TNDommeK

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See, that would be an example if someone I would turn down.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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Post #: 1044

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 4:16:46 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Off Topic.

Good job Rochsub for getting this turned into a sticky!

My thanks to the Mods for this change.

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Post #: 1045

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 8:36:20 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAnnabelGrace

Findom should be a kink, a fantasy, a bit of fun and go alongside a D/s relationship with all the other goodies/kinks/fetishes of the sub thrown in. Ultimately, the fetish should be carried out in an ethical way. Many might say 'Ethics and Findom HAHAHA!' If I feel I am having a genuine negative impact on a subs life, I stop. Unfortunately, the power exchange is intoxicating and I see many Dommes pushing vulnerable people too far. I don't believe Findom should include blackmail because the lines become blurred and the safety precautions that some put in place are put to one side when a Domme gets greedy.....I often get approached by those looking to be bankrupted, with the sentence 'Please break me, take everything', my reply 'Why would I want to break you? a sick broken donkey can't continue to carry the hay, a healthy happy donkey can'.

As for being anything to do with prostitution, in my case, it's about as far from it as you could get, for effective domination online, 90% of it has to be psychological. Prostitution, in my mind, is a very physical thing.

Wow! Great post MissAnnabelGrace!

I don't remember seeing any post from you prior to this one, but I really enjoyed reading your contribution to the thread. Please come back.

As far as your point about effective domination on-line being psychological, and prostitution being physical, I completely agree with you. That's essentially why I disagree with those who call findoms "prostitutes". A prostitute sells sex for money. But with many (most?) of the "pretty princess" findoms, you get absolutely NOTHING for your money. No intercourse. No blowjob. No handjob. NOTHING. That's NOT prostitution. It's not even close. It's not even analogous to phone sex operators, because you get conversation from them. It's not analogous to strippers because you don't get a lap dance. findom is really its own unique thing.

Frankly, I wish I could collect money for doing absolutely nothing. I'd do that all day and night.

BTW, I'm not saying that all findoms do nothing. I believe that the better ones do actually develop real D/s relationships. But the "pretty princesses" that are the target of most of the venom on these boards probably don't give much in return.

What they do may be immoral, unethical, manipulative, or whatever other word you may want to use to describe it, but it certainly isn't prostitution.

In truth, I have to give many of them kudos. They're not deceptive. They tell the guys right up front to send them money, and that they're going to laugh at him as they bankrupt him. What could be more honest than that? They openly announce that they're only interested in "Pay Piggies". They admit that they aren't going to talk to you, write to you, or send you pictures. They tell you that you are meaningless to them. So if a guy chooses to send them money anyway, that's on him. But don't blame the findoms, because they're usually fairly honest about their intentions (regardless of whether you agree with those intentions or not).

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(in reply to MissAnnabelGrace)

Post #: 1046

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 8:38:59 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Good job Rochsub for getting this turned into a sticky!

I wish I could take credit for it, but I never got around to messaging them. I guess they read the thread and honored the request.

BTW, even though it's a sticky, I'll bet most people won't even bother to read it. They'll just dive right in and start a new thread with a title like "I hate findoms!" or "Findoms are prostitutes". Just watch. You heard it here first.

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"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 1047

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 8:44:32 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

True, Roch, but it will be so much more convenient to just link the person this thread when they start a new one. It will save tons of typing.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 1048

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 9:01:44 PM

VideoAdminAlpha

Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

Fast Reply:

I wanted to put a note in here explaining why the thread was first made as a sticky, then undone.

I had one user write me and say maybe this thread would slow the multple weekly threads dealing with complaints on the site about FIndommes and "why everyone wants to charge them," etc. I thought that was a valid point.

I had another user write me and point out that this is the ONLY thread stickied in the forums that is not an administrative statement. They also pointed out that there were many good threads of this caliber in other areas was the site going to sticky those also? In addition, it may look like we are showing favoritism towards findommes.

While we truly respect fin dommes, we respect them as we would any other group that has presence on site here. I do not want to make it appear to show favoritism, and with this being the only thread sticked, would receive lots more ideas from people on threads to sticky, and that also might appear that the site likes some threads more than others if we do sticky them. I would suggest to those that wanted it sticked, keep the link somewhere that you can find it over time, and you can link this thread to the new thread. Sorry about stickying it without looking at the picture adequately from all sides..

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(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 1049

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 9:04:32 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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For those that want to keep it alive maybe they could keep it in their signature line.

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Post #: 1050

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 10:27:57 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Even though I'm a sub myself, I still find subs way, way more difficult to understand than I do dominants.

*chuckles* I think self-destructive urges come both dom & sub flavored.

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(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 1051

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/13/2013 11:08:19 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I think out of ten people only (maybe) one would read this if it were a sticky. People barely read profiles, they come here to bitch, I doubt they will take time I read his 53 page sticky. Which is a shame bc this is a great thread.

Roch, that has been my whole argument. I'm to lazy to be a prostitute anyway,lol. I'd bring a stool so I could sit own instead of walking the street,lol.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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Post #: 1052

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 12:04:33 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

other than maybe the "old timers" here, no one else ever reads the stickies or TOS. I admit I've never read either but I seem to get along just fine without them. Unfortunately thought, lots and lots of newbies who come here seem to be socially inept.

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Post #: 1053

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 6:36:09 AM

MissAnnabelGrace

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/12/2013
Status: offline

Hi Rochsub2009,
I'm glad you liked my post. On reflection to your reply I'd like to add my input, and, throw some more of my personal experience into the mix. Those young girls 'Pretty Princesses' who demand money for nothing in return simply wont last. I started out in very much the same way as the 'Pretty Princesses', and, most slaves, even financial ones eventually get fed up of receiving nothing in return. As a 'Pretty Princess' you end up in a relentless search for new slaves, and, ultimately, it feels like you're begging well trying to play a powerful character. It's frustrating on both parts. The power lies in the hand (or wallet) of the slave. To me, it didn't feel like domination at all, and, as I like the power being in my hands, I spent significant time and effort looking at how to make this power exchange real and true.

My first rule of thumb is (and I'm sure it's mentioned in the 53 pages) You have to have an income that can sustain you without the need for reliance on a sub/slave. Ultimately, a slave has to know you have the ability to drop them at a moments notice. The problem with this is you also need to be available almost constantly. As a bit of research I popped some videos on youtube utilizing my passion for Hypnosis and NLP and played on a number of fetishes. I took the videos with the highest views, created original work and opened an online store. I was quite lucky as most Hypnosis in the D/s world isn't Hypnosis at all, so my work stood out and I became a top store. This actually got me head hunted by other sites who wanted to commission work from me (and a few medical journals for which I created Hypnosis to help those with gender issues), thus generating a regular stable income. This also afforded me time to really study the psychology of a D/s relationship, although I've had a huge interest and passion for primal domination and all that surrounds since University, even spending some time sharing my home with what was initially a crazy alpha wolf, I still have a picture of it snarling in my face, silly idea, but an invaluable education.

My second rule is, you HAVE to give something back, have a skill or a knack for kinks. For me it tends to be psychological games. I'll use NLP to anchor various triggers in a sub/slave E.G. A certain sight/sound/smell will trigger a memory of a certain kink or session, this kink then reminds the sub/slave of me or a session we've had previously. Another example would be the texture of a sub/slaves wallet, and, getting them to link that feel and texture to the humiliation of financial servitude towards me. Suggestion is also a very powerful tool to utilize. I also make my subs/slaves aware that although big tributes are nice, it isn't about the size of the tribute, for me the tribute is more about the admittance that I've overcome their will, thus admitting the power exists and is real. I guess a form of saying 'I submit' rather than saying 'You're hot, here, have some money'.

My third rule is, intellect is vital! I'm not claiming I'm the sharpest tool in the box, far from it, but I all to often see girls who can't put a sentence together in the Findom world. The people who can afford Findom are generally those in high paid jobs that require half a brain, it's impossible to Domme those people if you can't match the level of intellect they have.

My final rule is, care for those in your stable and make them feel good about what they give. Religion brings in billions and billions of £$, I've yet to meet anyone who worships a god they hate (not that I'm claiming to be god, I'm a goddess ;) ).

Ultimately, the pretty princesses will dissolve over time leaving those with true knowledge and skill. I put in hundreds of hours creating content, videos, hypnosis and consider it a constant education, not a quick buck.

And that's the end of my essay!

Miss Grace

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 1054

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 7:09:05 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

Well fancy that. Interesting!

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Post #: 1055

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 7:38:40 AM

MissAnnabelGrace

Posts: 33
Joined: 2/12/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I often get approached by those looking to be bankrupted, with the sentence 'Please break me, take everything'

Even though I'm a sub myself, I still find subs way, way more difficult to understand than I do dominants.

I've discovered those who approach in this way generally fit into these groups.

1. Mental disorder such as Bi Polar where the will to overspend is a genuine issue.
2. Someone who wants to be humiliated to the point of owning nothing, dangerous.
3. A time wasting person who feels the need to waste the time of a domme.

None of which I'd touch with a barge pole.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 1056

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 2:37:47 PM

egern

Posts: 537
Joined: 1/11/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Off Topic.

Good job Rochsub for getting this turned into a sticky!

My thanks to the Mods for this change.

What is a sticky, please?

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 1057

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 2:40:25 PM

TheLilSquaw

Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: egern

What is a sticky, please?

Sticky - A post that stays at the top of the board.

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Post #: 1058

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 2:59:13 PM

AllisonWilder

Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAnnabelGrace

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

I often get approached by those looking to be bankrupted, with the sentence 'Please break me, take everything'

Even though I'm a sub myself, I still find subs way, way more difficult to understand than I do dominants.

I've discovered those who approach in this way generally fit into these groups.

1. Mental disorder such as Bi Polar where the will to overspend is a genuine issue.
2. Someone who wants to be humiliated to the point of owning nothing, dangerous.
3. A time wasting person who feels the need to waste the time of a domme.

None of which I'd touch with a barge pole.

There is a 4th to this list, too. I most often find that the ones that want to be bankrupted are addicted to the point that what they really need is professional counseling. I tell everyone that approaches me saying that they want to be ruined, bankrupted, left with nothing that they need to seek help and block them. I won't deal with that, ever.

(in reply to MissAnnabelGrace)

Post #: 1059

RE: Is financial domination a legitimate form of D/s? - 2/14/2013 3:51:47 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I agree. That would be another example of being able to turn money down. I'm glad MAG came back to the convo and I really liked what she had to say.

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Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to AllisonWilder)

Post #: 1060

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