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New, naive and submissive - 6/11/2006 7:51:36 PM   
Debscurious


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/1/2006
Status: offline 		Hi everyone,
 
I've spent the last few weeks, reading, talking to people etc.  I have gotten answers to most of my questions.  I am trying to figure out the dom vs master, and wondering which would be the right fit for me.  How do you know who is for real online? Are most of your relationships monogamous?  I would much prefer a man my age or older,,,,,Any input would be appreciated :)  Have a nice night.   Deb
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/11/2006 8:37:21 PM   
xxmstrchasxx


Posts: 423
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		Hello Deb,

Welcome to the forum, good to have you with us.

quote:

How do you know who is for real online? 


You really don't know and there's a lot of players online so be careful.

_____________________________

XxMasterChasxX

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/11/2006 10:10:12 PM   
whipofdoom


Posts: 27
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hi there,to answer your question, lets start by saying there is no easy answer. In simplest terms, the Dom in a Dom/sub relationship is the controling force. The person who drives the sub towards total surrender. But the Dom must still realize that the D/s dynamic might not be for more than just that one sexual, eroctic, or sensual encounter. The Master/slave relationship is normally a much longer term. It also deals with more of the stresses of real life. Mowing the lawn because you're told to is not always sexy.

As far as being able to tell real online. I'll tell you right now, 98% of the Doms who will contact you are full of shit. They are possers and pricks without a clue. Just to let you know I am a Dom. I have been in this lifestyle for a long time. I'm very old school. I think the problem with the fakes is a hard one to fix. How do you get rid off someone who is a danger when you never see them and all they have to do is change thier screen name. All I can say is to never hook up with someone untill you have a chance to talk to other people who know him or her in real life. If they say they don't play in public, or they any real contacts in the BDSM community they are full of shit, run away.

I hope this helps, if you have any other questions drop me a line and I'll answer what I can

R

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/11/2006 10:23:54 PM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Hello and welcome to CM. I hope you find the advice you are seeking.

(in reply to whipofdoom)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/12/2006 8:13:02 AM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		Welcome....your already heading in the right direction by asking questions.  The best offense is knowledge and experience when it comes to distinguishing "real from fake".

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/12/2006 8:16:22 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		Welcome Deb

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/12/2006 9:15:32 PM   
ss2u


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline 		Dear Deb,
i would describe myself similarly to you. It's so much fun, but it can seem so dangerous. I do not know if i am slave or sub. I think it depends on the man. It would be a very rare and special man who i would give myself up to totally, until then, i am happily sub.
As for who is real and who is not. Yes, most are not. I find if you can keep up a regular email or IM contact with people over an extended period of time, and talk about issues other than sex and BDSm, the real people reveal themselves nicely. You do not need to meet straight away. We must protect ourselves until we find one who will.
If you would like to get in touch just to chat please do. I have a few online sub friends that i have know for a while now. We talk about art, travel, life, and kinks. We are all different, but we are not alone at least.
x ss2u

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/12/2006 10:26:01 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forum deb

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to ss2u)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/12/2006 10:31:02 PM   
litleone8620


Posts: 3669
Joined: 6/12/2006
Status: offline 		Deb,
I myself started on the internet, and it can be and is overwhelming at times. Of course the internet is a dangerous place, but so is the real world. The best advice i can give you, from one newbie to another, trust your gut instinct/intuition.

Welcome


_____________________________

He who laughs last didn't get the joke


We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

(in reply to slavejali)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/13/2006 9:58:34 AM   
DommeShi


Posts: 58
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I Myself, am a LifeStyle Domme, Yes it is very dangerous on the Internet. And yes there are Many Fake ones on here too, as are on all.
 
you Will learn over time how, to so speaking, "Weed" them out. It is a Really shame. But as it is in these times.
 
Take Care 

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New, naive and submissive - 6/13/2006 7:32:51 PM   
Debscurious


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/1/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the replies ;)  I will take the advice and heed the warnings,,and continue on my journey of discovery.
 
Have a nice night all
 
Deb

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/19/2007 2:46:30 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Debscurious

Hi everyone,
 
I've spent the last few weeks, reading, talking to people etc.  I have gotten answers to most of my questions.  I am trying to figure out the dom vs master, and wondering which would be the right fit for me.  How do you know who is for real online? Are most of your relationships monogamous?  I would much prefer a man my age or older,,,,,Any input would be appreciated :)  Have a nice night.   Deb


really, whether you end up with a dominant or a master will depend a great deal on how you come to define those terms and how your potential partners come to define those terms (as well as whether you identify as a slave or submissive, and how you and your potential partners define THOSE terms).

you don't know who is real online, unfortunately. a lot of it comes down to gut, trust, and safe calls.

my relationship is polyamorous. my previous relationship (which was also d/s) was monogamous. there are plenty of poly doms/masters and plenty of monogamous ones...do not feel like you have to give up your own desires there just to fit someone else's mold. if you are happy being monogamous, there are plenty of people out there for you.

we have all age ranges here, as well as all types of relationships, i think. i am in an age gap relationship and i know there have got to be other members in age gap relationships, although many members have partners within their age range, and some younger. there's no "stereotypical" relationship, that i've seen.

best of luck to you. if you ever wish to chat, my cmail box is always open.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/19/2007 2:57:03 PM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		Becoming the victim of a glib poseur that's read the posts of others and begun to effecively "parrot" he words de jour can be one of th biggest dangers that yo'll face.
Gentry
quote:

ORIGINAL: Debscurious

Thank you all for the replies ;)  I will take the advice and heed the warnings,,and continue on my journey of discovery.
 
Have a nice night all
 
Deb

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/20/2007 10:34:35 AM   
Rons007


Posts: 2
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Debscurious

Hi everyone,
 
I've spent the last few weeks, reading, talking to people etc.  I have gotten answers to most of my questions.  I am trying to figure out the dom vs master, and wondering which would be the right fit for me.  How do you know who is for real online? Are most of your relationships monogamous?  I would much prefer a man my age or older,,,,,Any input would be appreciated :)  Have a nice night.   Deb


I have been online since the first computer I had at home a comadore 64. I guess that dates me a little and I have found good people and bad people, people who say what they mean and mean what they say. After a while you get to know a little more then you did when you first came online, but it still is the same shit on a different day. Good luck and I hope your hurts are few and not to deep.

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/21/2007 1:55:05 PM   
GhostWhoWalks


Posts: 84
Joined: 12/13/2006
Status: offline 		Hi, and Welcome, from one new person at CollarMe (althought not new to the lifestyle) to another.   you're going to find there is no way to tell who's real and who's not online, until you meet them. Some people suggest background checks via others they have played with, personal references, etc. But, keep in mind, these people can also have their own agendas, and it's not uncommon for some subs who have a grudge against a Dom for one reason or another, to "exaggerate" his faults. That's not to say doing background checks or asking for personal references are useless; they simply shouldn't be relied upon completely. One thing you can do, that I think most here would agree upon; trust your intuition. If you get a creepy feeling about him, but don't have a real reason for it, you're better off trusting your feelings. As far as the difference between Dom, Master, and Top are concerned, opinions vary greatly. Some think the only Masters are those who have demonstrated, over time, an appropriate level of skill in whatever it is that they do, and are recognized by others in the community as a Master.Others believe the difference between a Master and Dom is that the Master is more focused on the power dynamic between himself and his slaves then a Dom would be. Other opinions abound. Anyway, good luck on your explorations, and don't forget to have fun! 

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/21/2007 2:56:06 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline 		Deb,

Welcome to CM and the boards.
If your still befuddled on the difference tween a Sir and a Master, drop me a line.

Good Fortune

CP

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/23/2007 7:26:50 PM   
DreamWizardNJoy


Posts: 234
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline 		Well, if those aren't the questions of the week...lol

The first part of being able to find out answers is being will to ask the questions - you're taking the best, first step by exploring and being open to learning. We hope you'll stop by and look forward to getting to know you better soon!

Best regards,
David Dream Wizard and His dream girl, joy


_____________________________

Newcomer to the Lifestyle? Wanna learn more?
Experienced? Willing to share?
Visit our Discussion Group (Global Ds Newcomers)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GDsN

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/24/2007 6:58:34 PM   
Seductor


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Debscurious

Hi everyone,
 
I've spent the last few weeks, reading, talking to people etc.  I have gotten answers to most of my questions.  I am trying to figure out the dom vs master, and wondering which would be the right fit for me.  How do you know who is for real online? Are most of your relationships monogamous?  I would much prefer a man my age or older,,,,,Any input would be appreciated :)  Have a nice night.   Deb


Greetings debbie,  Master is generally, but not always the counterpart to slave, and Dom is generally the counterpart of submissive.   Your mileage varies, of course, based on usage ;-) <heh>

(in reply to Debscurious)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New, naive and submissive - 3/24/2007 7:27:59 PM   
bayboundse


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/29/2005
From: Oak Ridge, TN
Status: offline 		welcome to collarme

(in reply to Seductor)
Profile   Post #: 19
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