General Courtesy

General Courtesy (Full Version)

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hihipep -> General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:38:09 PM)
I'm new to this site, so I'm trying to get a feel for the basic etiquette here. I'd imagine that it isn't too detached from the ideas shared in reality, but I'm having rather a difficult time working my way through the particular nuances of this site's features. Am I using the journal properly? Is there even a way not to use it properly? Is there a particular way that one is expected to respond to messages, if at all? I have a few "admirers" on this website now, as well, but I am very confused as to precisely what that means here and how I am meant to react to it, if it is courteous to react at all. My apologies if this entire line of inquiry seems terribly ignorant, but I've never been good at feeling out how to work around online community features like these, and spam messages are making it all the more confusing for me. I appreciate any time that anyone puts into reading and/or responding to this. Thank you. c:

MsLadySue -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:45:18 PM)
There are some regular posters that will likely be along who can assist you. I'm simply here to welcome you. [image]local://upfiles/73159/390DE96A4472403FBF1EA9BD2885EC30.jpg[/image]

MistressDarkArt -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:50:07 PM)
Welcome m'dear! 'Admirers' is a way for folks to bookmark your profile for later viewing. Nothing is required on your part. As for the forums, read each board guideline for an idea of what's expected. TOS (the terms of use agreement you initialed when you made your account) has some specific things to say about conduct so make sure you understand what you signed. 'Intros' has to be welcoming even if the person is an obvious douche...the option there is to not post if the person is such a dickweed that you (the proverbial 'all of us' you) can't be polite. Emotis are helpful there, like this one: [sm=zipmouth.gif]. ' It gets the point across without violating TOS. As long as 'hi, good luck, welcome' is in there somewhere with the emoti, I think you're good to go. What's OK on the boards fluctuates from time to time so if in doubt, check with our esteemed Mods before posting. As to your journal: whatever you wish to write. Just be aware that anyone with an internet connection can read it. Enjoy the site and thanks for joining in :-)

hihipep -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:50:25 PM)
Ahahaha, thank you very much! I appreciate it. =D That kitten is adorable. c:

chemeli -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:53:48 PM)
For the journal, maybe reducing about the music bit? Because reading the entries, it made no sense to me and you come accross as somehow a bit errr edgy, over energetic girl. I dont know if that's you, but that was how i saw you from your journal. It's good for getting people to know yourself, but it's also not a personal diary, so to speak. It's advertisement for putting up little pieces of your personality to enlighten your journal. Or to tease the curiosity of others, maybe. I dont use the journal that much, because i have no idea what to put in it, so i just dont. Use it as how you would like people to see you and how you would like them to get to know you better maybe, if you feel you have to use it. For the messages....if i'm interested, i answer. If not, i just reply, politely, our interests do not match, thank you or something like that. No need to write a novel for a refusal response and waste your and other people's time. as for admirers....i have noooo idea [:)]

hihipep -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:53:57 PM)
Oh, yes, I am aware of the idea of ToS, I was more inquiring regarding personal messages; my apologies, I should have worded that more clearly. Thank you, though. =D Is there something of an equivalent for that sort of message, on that note, or are basic rules of etiquette applied? And thank you very much for the information regarding admirers, that is incredibly helpful! =D

LadyHibiscus -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:54:05 PM)
Hello, and welcome to our world :) Your journal is yours to do as you see fit, with the exception of not dissing other users by name. Have fun! The 'admirers' feature means that someone has you as a favorite, so they have you bookmarked. Most of my admirers are total strangers that never contact me. Pay them no mind is my recommendation. There is a BLOCK function for those who annoy you. Feel free to use it! You can also REPORT spammers. If your eyes are assaulted by an egregious profile, you can HIDE it, and also REPORT peen pics! Think of your mailbox as...a mailbox. Do you respond to all your junk mail? If you want to respond, do, otherwise, don't. If you hover over your inbox mail with your mouse, you can get a preview of the mail, so you can just delete it if it's icky! Hope this helps.

lizi -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:54:45 PM)
Hi and welcome! I had a peek at your profile and sure, you're using the journal properly. I don't think there is a way to not use it properly, but lots of people do use it as a venting device and whine in it, I do think this tends to put people off rather than draw them in, so that could be considered using it improperly if you are indeed looking for a partner. Respond to messages however you like. It's considered good manners by many to at least respond to say no thanks, although I'd argue that it's not necessary. Some people will like it if you do that, some will be poopheads at being rejected and act butthurt. It's up to you to decide what you'd like to do with messages, there isn't any protocol. Admirers are people who have bookmarked your profile for the lack of a better word. They found something of interest and wanted to keep your profile handy for some reason. You may never actually hear from them. There isn't anything you need to do when you are 'admired', just sit back and see if they write, and then you can express interest or not. Or take the initiative to write an admirer that you feel might be interesting. No protocol with it, just whatever you think. Don't apologize for asking questions [:)] Hope to see you around the forums!

Duskypearls -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:55:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hihipep Ahahaha, thank you very much! I appreciate it. =D That kitten is adorable. c: Welcome dear, and if you think that kitten is adorable, just look for my past and future critter posts in the Off-Topic Discussion area!

Baroana -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:55:55 PM)
Thank goodness, I thought this was another "why don't they answer my emails" thread.

hihipep -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 5:56:01 PM)
Ah, goodness, I'm responding to these too slowly. .x. I will use the advice regarding the journal entries and messages, though, thank you. c:

DesFIP -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 6:01:27 PM)
You're new and female. You may get as many as a hundred messages a day. No, you do not have to answer every one personally. In fact, we recommend that you only respond if you want to talk to that person. Unfortunately, there are guys who will take a "thanks but I don't think we have anything in common" to mean that they really have hooked you in. And they will keep messaging you. But once they really understand that you don't want to: send them your naked pics, your phone number, or have cyber sex - their response will be to attack you. Alas the most common is to tell you "your(sic) to(sic) fat to fuck". The more esoteric include threats of telling your: boss, mother, grandmother what you like. Or just threats against your person. No response is a response.

LaTigresse -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 7:22:41 PM)
Welcome. The delete button in email is your friend. Here, in the forums, a hide like a rhino and a very good sense of humour will be your friends. Please be advised. On the forums, we have some seriously crazy people, some people that love to argue and are sure they are always right, some people that flirt like crazy, some seriously funny people, some of the nicest sweetest people you may never get the delight to meet, some seriously fucked up people, quite a few masochists, people that believe they are Queen/Master of the universe, people that wanna fuck ya, people that wanna take your money and not fuck ya, a few wicked sadists, some real charmers, a few you are sure are space aliens, many characteristics I probably missed, and a lot of combinations of the previous.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 7:24:09 PM)
OOH! Can I be the space alien? I HAVE GLITTER BALL ANTENNAE

samdarella -> RE: General Courtesy (9/1/2012 11:21:09 PM)
The journal can be fun to read back through and see where your head was at and where your journey has taken you. If someone sends an actual note that is longer than a sentence I will usually be polite enough to respond with a thanks and have a great day. It's possible that you could make an unexpected friend. I've met some very nice people from CM even though they weren't right for a relationship. And it never hurts to be polite. Sure you will have assholes that will think they can take advantage of you because of it. But there's always time to delete later.

myotherself -> RE: General Courtesy (9/2/2012 1:56:58 AM)
getting messages on here is always a barrel of laughs, particularly in the first month or two while you're still new [:)] Remember that this site is just like any other dating site - if you're looking for a real-life relationship then you owe the person you're messaging with absolutely nothing until you've met in person and agreed to be in a relationship. That doesn't make you a 'fake', it makes you sensible. There are many people on the messageboards who met their partners through cm (or other fet sites). The trick is to be choosy, don't rush things and keep your standards high. Welcome, and I wish you luck [:D]

crazyml -> RE: General Courtesy (9/2/2012 2:11:07 AM)
One thing that you'll find handy is the "bulk mail" filter. Your profile makes it clear that you're looking for dominant women, but I'm willing to bet you'll get a ton of mail from male doms, and male subs. If this is tiresome you can set up your bulk mail filter to move messages from dudes to a bulk folder (if you go to read mail, then click the bulk mail button you'll see a button called "mail controls"). I think your journal is perfect! Oh, and while some people have strong views about people replying to emails, I take the view that if you're getting tons of them, you shouldn't feel obliged to answer them all. If you start getting shitty emails from people - block them. I hope you have a lovely collar me experience!

everhope -> RE: General Courtesy (9/2/2012 3:16:17 AM)
hihipep welcome i do respond to all first time messages with the exception of the crude, rude and lewd. mousing over the messages is very helpful, it helps me prioritize who i will respond to first. sometimes my time here can be limited. i have written plenty of no thank you messages. the bulk mail feature is helpful, but remember to check it every so often. i have gotten mail from people from the forums because they matched my filters that i did want to correspond with. you will be swamped with mail for the first few weeks/month, but it settles down. i have met some awesome people on CM and i wish you the same.

DarkSteven -> RE: General Courtesy (9/2/2012 4:56:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hihipep I'm new to this site, so I'm trying to get a feel for the basic etiquette here. I'd imagine that it isn't too detached from the ideas shared in reality, but I'm having rather a difficult time working my way through the particular nuances of this site's features. Am I using the journal properly? Is there even a way not to use it properly? Yes. The only way to use it improperly that I know of is to name people and say "LordWankerFromPeoria is a (!&@!(^@". quote: Is there a particular way that one is expected to respond to messages, if at all? Not really. Since you're an attractive young woman new to the site, you should be getting flooded with messages, and I suspect a lot of them are from men who don't quite grasp the meaning of the word "lesbian." That'll ease up over time. I suggest just deleting messages that you don't want to erspond to, and being polite to the ones you do want to respond to. quote: I have a few "admirers" on this website now, as well, but I am very confused as to precisely what that means here and how I am meant to react to it, if it is courteous to react at all. As was said, using the Admire feature can be used to bookmark your profile. I've had women use it to let me know they're interested. And I've had a few genuine friends use it as well. quote: My apologies if this entire line of inquiry seems terribly ignorant, but I've never been good at feeling out how to work around online community features like these, and spam messages are making it all the more confusing for me. I appreciate any time that anyone puts into reading and/or responding to this. Thank you. c: You're welcome! So... how's your overall collarme experience going?

JstAnotherSub -> RE: General Courtesy (9/2/2012 5:16:46 AM)
quote: LordWankerFromPeoria is a (!&**!(^****". Well, he is quite the asshole!

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