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sexyred1 -> RE: Dating Fails (9/4/2012 5:00:35 PM)
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Ok, this was the worst single date I ever had...
Quite a number of years ago, I met someone on a vanilla site, chatted on the phone and he sounded ok. He sent a photo which looked good and he loved theater, which I do as well.
One day, my parents called me at the last minute to go to the theater and they had 2 extra tickets since their friends cancelled. It was King Lear which is my favorite Shakespeare work.
I got their text while I was on the phone with this guy and I said, oh, I have to find someone to join me and my parents for this play. He said, OMG, I love that play, please can I go? I thought it would be somewhat weird to take a blind date to meet my parents, but my parents are so cool and they would not care, IF he was normal.
We arranged to meet at a Chinese restaurant near Lincoln Center and when I got there, I did not see a dark, tall, handsome guy like in the photo, I saw a troll. Seriously, he was like a hobbit. I freaked out, but, I am nice, so I said hello. He was ranting about how great I looked, even better than my photo, and I said, well, I cannot say the same as you obviously sent a fake photo for some reason, knowing we would be meeting. He said, well, I sent a friend's photo because I KNEW you would like me when we sat down.
Rolls eyes. Ok, so normally I would have left, but my parents were waiting and I had to eat something or I would have passed out. We go in and order, and not only was he hideous looking, he had abominable manners and talked non stop about himself, and it was not interesting. I just wanted to disappear and people were staring at us, as if I had taken pity on him.
Finally, I was eating some shrimp and it got stuck in my throat so I panicked and drank water, which made it swell in my throat and choke me. I started grabbing my throat, tears flying out of my eyes, and this asshole, just keeps talking!!!! People were staring and I was actually afraid I would die in front of everyone, worse, that they thought I was with HIM.
It seemed like an hour went by and no one was doing anything, so I gave MYSELF, the Heimlich thing and the shrimp flew out of my mouth, onto his plate. I ran to the ladies room hysterical crying, make up smeared and wanted to die.
I came back to the table and this idiot did not ask the waiter to take my plate away, he actually offered me my spit out shrimp. OMG.
So I was infuriated and would not talk to him and ran outside. He started running after me saying, wait, what about the theater?? I said fuck off you are a lunatic and I never want to see you again.
My parents were waiting at the theater and this guy goes over to them before ME and introduces himself so my parents did not know what happened and we had to go in together. Only later was I able to take them aside and tell them. During the play, which was serious, obviously, King Lear, duh, he was talking loudly and saying, this sucks, this is boring, etc.
I literally could not wait to get rid of him and take a shower and as we left the theater, he thanked my parents and said, I really like your daughter, I hope we can all see each other again.
He had the nerve to call me after that and I told him off like I never told anyone off and he said I was a stuck up bitch and that I would regret losing him.
That was a doozy of a date.
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