RE: Rescinded Forgiveness

RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (Full Version)

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UllrsIshtar -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:00:27 AM)
You are 53 years old and you're seriously asking if: - It's okay if a dude lies to you about forgiving you moving on after a minor mistake - It's okay if a dude is upset with you for not risking your job to text with him - It's okay to date a dude you don't trust (after a mere 9 day "relationship") - It's okay for a dude to tell you he doesn't care if you're afraid of him (after a mere 9 day "relationship") - If it's okay for a dude to make bizarre accusations towards you, like you being a lesbian because you have friends On top of that you're also stating that you: - Are so fragile you get scared of dudes because they tell you to text them while you're working - Are so fragile you need your friends to support you and help you "deal" with the fact that some dude you met 9 days ago was upset with you for not texting him while you where working I mean... seriously... WHAT THE FUCK?!? Come on... seriously... read the above and think to yourself... ask yourself the question: "is this normal rational behavior for ME to react like this to these events?" Forget what the dude did (and btw, forget about the dude period) instead have a long hard look at your behavior handling these situations, and try to figure out if that's an adult way of handling, and dealing with things. Seriously... BDSM doesn't mean you check your brain, your experience, or your relationship skills at the door...

ELAYLADY -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:11:03 AM)
This is in reply to ALL who were kind enough to write back to me. Most were supportive which felt great. Some were pull my head out of my ass, which was NEEDED. There were too many red flags. No, I am generally not too thin skinned. BUT I SURE AS HELL WAS THIS TIME. A bit on the weak side, as this dude sent me so many emails, I had to use a filter to send him where he needed to go. I REALLY did appreciate EVERY reply. Have fun out there.

smartsub10 -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:11:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus Maybe this person can hook up with the guy on the other thread who wanted to buy someone for $700. Seriously? Why do I always miss the "good" threads. [:D]

ELAYLADY -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:22:34 AM)
In reply to smartsub10 How the hell do I get this ridiculous Head up my Ass thread the hell off of here????. Thank you. I know you didn't say anything. But I adore Judge Judy

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:26:22 AM)
You can't. Only the mods can delete threads and they rarely seem to do so just cause a person wants it deleted. Your best bet it to make a post stating you would like people to refrain from replying, and then hope that nobody does again and this thread can just fade off the first page fast into nobody-even-remembers-it-land.

ELAYLADY -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:38:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ELAYLADY = My problem is something I did not expect to happen. I am a brand new subbie. I met a Dom a couple of weeks ago from CM I had made a remark that he did not like. I realized my error and recanted the remark before he could call me on it. He acknowledged that I had apologized prior to him administering punishment to me. He said all was okay. I asked hime if that meant he forgave me. He said yes, he did. That night, however, because I did not respond to his texts, he sent me a text that I was so busy whining about, etc etc, that I had failed to answer his texts in a timely manner. I WAS AT WORK. I told him that it was my understanding that once forgiven it is forgotten. I felt that I could not trust him. And that I was afraid of him a bit for that. He said he did not care if my sub self was afraid of him or not. He then left on his vacation and I dealt with it with help from some of my friends here and one friend on the outside. He has since returned and has accused me of lesbianism and stated that he believed that the person on the outside who had helped me was my Domme. He said there is no such thing as Once forgiven it is Forgotten. Which is the truth please???

ELAYLADY -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:44:38 AM)
TO ALL WHO WERE KIND ENOUGH TO REPLY TO THIS EMAIL. THANK YOU. I AM VERY APPRECIATIVE. IT IS DIFFICULT BEING NEW TO A SITUATION AND WITH ONES HEAD UP HER ASS AS MINE WAS, IT IS DIFFICULT TO SMELL THE BLOSSOMS, BECAUSE ONE'S NOSE IS PLACED WHERE THE FERTILIZER IS MANUFACTURED. AND A KEWPIE DOLL TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAN HELP ME DELETE THIS EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING THREAD.

LaTigresse -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 4:51:47 AM)
Good luck with all of that...

Greta75 -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 5:51:14 AM)
quote: You are female, which in this culture is in high demand. You have no need or reason to shift your sexually to his. While females are in high demand, but doms that aren't like this guy mentioned above are like the needles in the haystack.

GreedyTop -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 6:54:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ELAYLADY TO ALL WHO WERE KIND ENOUGH TO REPLY TO THIS EMAIL. THANK YOU. I AM VERY APPRECIATIVE. IT IS DIFFICULT BEING NEW TO A SITUATION AND WITH ONES HEAD UP HER ASS AS MINE WAS, IT IS DIFFICULT TO SMELL THE BLOSSOMS, BECAUSE ONE'S NOSE IS PLACED WHERE THE FERTILIZER IS MANUFACTURED. AND A KEWPIE DOLL TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAN HELP ME DELETE THIS EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING THREAD. This is not email. and it's doubtful the mods will delete this THREAD.

littlewonder -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 8:36:34 AM)
With Master and I, he deals out the consequence and I'm forgiven and it's forgotten. There's no reason to keep hanging on to stuff. Sounds to me like you have an insecure "dom".

OsideGirl -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 8:53:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar Come on... seriously... read the above and think to yourself... ask yourself the question: "is this normal rational behavior for ME to react like this to these events?" Ishtar, I'd like to thank you for this comment. It was exactly what I thinking.

graceadieu -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 1:48:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ELAYLADY met on collar me 2 weeks ago and in person 9 days ago. You've only been seeing this guy for a week and a half. You don't owe him shit. And if he can't understand that you can't be on the phone at work and is basically wants you to endanger your job for the sake of a 9-day relationship, that's pretty much a red flag. Also, the lesbian thing, that just doesn't even make sense. I'm going with either "manipulative asshole" or "lost in fantasy-land", and suggest you ditch him. ETA: Posted this before I read the whole thread! Glad you dumped him. Hopefully you can find somebody that treats you right. [:)]

DesFIP -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 8:10:00 PM)
A relationship is a relationship is a relationship. If you wouldn't tolerate this in a vanilla guy, there is no reason to tolerate it in a kinky one.

BambiBoi -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/5/2012 11:31:15 PM)
Elaylady, please review the below. quote: ORIGINAL: BambiBoi Lady Pact, I feel sympathy for them. Like You've pointed out in many posts, that a relationship has a D/s element does not require common sense to go out the window. Sadly, that is a point lost on so many novice posters. It takes monk-like patience and sometimes kid-gloves to get the fledgling kinksters off the ground. Sometimes, such an approach necessitates feeding trolls. But every now and again I feel like I've practically saved a life by reminding a submissive whose trying so hard to be a pleasing slave that she doesn't have to endure abuses. I take similar care in the poly forum to remind people that just because one is dominant does not mean his or her decisions should go unquestioned. So many submissives, especially those new and eager to please, endure silliness that borders stupidity because they would feel like a failure for not abiding certain tasks. In short, every now and again I will get an encouraging letter or response from a novice bashfully admitting it was so simple, and they just needed someone to help them see. That is what keeps me coming back. Plus the newbie girls tend to put booby pictures in their profiles, so that's nice too.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/6/2012 11:14:00 PM)
Elaylady- Elaylady- No need to continue be hard on yourself...we live and learn, and I think you got the lesson. BDSM relationships aren't fundamentally different than vanilla ones. Respect, consideration, trust and at a very minimum, friendship/affection should be in place ON BOTH SIDES before forging ahead to Kinkville. Good luck to you.

DesFIP -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/8/2012 5:30:27 AM)
OP, you might want to use the search button for sub frenzy. It explains the reason why adults suddenly act like none of their life experience and common sense should be used ever again.

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Rescinded Forgiveness (9/8/2012 6:25:03 AM)
Every now and then, I meet a dominant person that i respond to in a very visceral level. It is almost like reverting back to childhood. I'm uncertain, emotionally fragile, eager to please and well not my usual practical self. It amazes me how scary but NICE it can be to feel that open and vulnerable. When I read posts like this OP I try to remember those fellings and not be to harsh. Try to not be to hard on yourself, learn to recognise when you are in a raw, emotionally fragile state and take the time to get to know a person before you surrender that fragile part of yourself to them.

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