What's up with Wax?

What's up with Wax? (Full Version)

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sapphirepleasure -> What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 4:40:22 AM)
My Dom used wax with me last night, something I've heard so much about, and honestly I pretty much hated it and just couldn't wait for it to be over. I was bound, gagged and blindfolded, and had clothespins that were hurting like hell and then the wax searing hot from time to time--I could hardly stand it, and it was a good thing I was gagged. So I'm wondering, why do so many people talk about how great wax is, what makes for a good wax scene (especially with a sub/slave who is new/not a pain slut) and are there any other suggestions you might have? Thanks!

meatcleaver -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 4:51:02 AM)
I can't say why wax is so good, I'll leave that to others who appreciate being on the burning end of it though my p/time partner loves it but different waxes melt at different temperatures, some hotter than others. It's always worth testing the wax first as there can be big differences in temperatures, if the wax is too hot, it can ruin a scene. That is my experience anyway.

foxnotinsox -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 4:53:03 AM)
quote: My Dom used wax with me last night, something I've heard so much about, and honestly I pretty much hated it and just couldn't wait for it to be over. <snip> So I'm wondering, why do so many people talk about how great wax is, what makes for a good wax scene (especially with a sub/slave who is new/not a pain slut) and are there any other suggestions you might have? Hmmmmmm that is unfortunate, cause wax is wonderful! I have some suggestions ... it was your first time, so having the other stimuli was simply too much!! Might be better to do just the wax and see .. and then augment it from there. Something that I love is my Remington paraffin wax spa .. the one that's large enough to dip feet into. You can set the temperature to Low, Medium or High .. and it can be put on a timer, so will warm up before you come home from work heheh. What's nice about this .. besides hand and feet treatments .. is that is can be poured by the cupful .. mmmm enveloping you in warmth. Just be sure to use lots of drop sheets. Hope your second experience gets you hooked =)

sapphirepleasure -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 4:59:15 AM)
wow, the wax spa by the cupful sounds yummy! All I could think as I was waiting there (throbbing from the clothespins) for the extremely hot wax to hit me was, why am I doing this again? There was no way to anticipate the pain really, it would all of a sudden just fry me and I would be screaming into my gag. I do think the pins were too much. He did them as a distraction but said later that maybe it put me over the top and made me less able to handle the wax, which I'm sure is true.

doll -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:04:26 AM)
Just a fast reply....but I think that wax is great. It is a bit much at first, but I guess that one would have to enjoy it in order to do it again. And I agree with the other poster about the different types of wax. I have used a variety of different candles and such and some do burn hotter than others. A r/l dom friend suggested beeswax candles, said they don't burn the skin and burn at a much lower heat. Just a suggestion. Good luck!!

Rayne58 -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:05:22 AM)
I have done wax play once, and loved it. I was restrained (collar and cuffs attached to an aluminium rod), blindfolded but my legs were free. There had been some sexual play beforehand so I was aroused. We used church candles and the height it was dropped from was carefully worked out - my friend tested it on her wrist first. At the time the wax was being used there was no other stimulation or play going on. I could concentrate fully on the various sensations - the heat, the little sting as it was dropped on my skin, the tightening as it cooled. I suspect as fox suggested that you had too much else going on, especially the pegs. I hope you will try it again it really does feel great [:)]

doll -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:06:50 AM)
I am sorry that you had a bad experience with wax. I find that it can be quite arousing when done at the right time. I might also suggest using beeswax candles if you ever decide to do wax again...they burn at a lower temperature and do not burn the skin as badly. Good luck!!

doll -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:08:39 AM)
Ok my damn yahoo was playing with me...please disregard last post. Thanks lol

slavejali -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:12:06 AM)
I like it searing hot....little blisters come to mind [:)] Mentioned that cause everyone is different. Your dom just needs to take it slow at first and get to know your body better (especially when introducing new things).

Mistrix -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:18:10 AM)
I'm sorry to hear that it was a terrible experience. I love using wax and it's interesting because I do it in an erotic and soft way. Mind you everyone has their own way of letting it fall and the kinds of wax that they use. There is a ton of information on that around the boards and on sites to make it more enjoyable experience. I love to use erotic music and do it in a sensual soft way and also it depends on the person if they are more masochist than normal. Don't give up and gain some knowledge. Just because I didn't like a certain foood the first time I ate it I tried it a different way with different spices and ended up enjoying it immensely. Just a thought. Good luck.

sapphirepleasure -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:19:18 AM)
Wow, that's amazing. It never occured to me that someone would want it hotter! Beeswax may be a better choice for me since I am such a wuss when it comes to pain. My Dom also said that perhaps I would have done better if he'd talked to me more or told me I was doing well. As it was, I just felt like a target and I hated it. For me, I am only learning to tolerate pain if it is mixed with pleasure of some sort--a paddle I love followed by a flogger that's tolerable and plenty of massage in between--the 'carrots', he calls them.

sapphirepleasure -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:22:30 AM)
Music's a great idea. How do you make it soft & sensual? In the way you let certain amounts of it fall, or in what you are saying when you are doing it? (I think the auditory can be so important to set the whole tone of the scene, don't you?)

gardenbluebird -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:30:50 AM)
A previous poster suggest said to use beeswax, actually i don't think that is accurate. Beeswax burns very hot and the common wisdom is to never user beeswax. Candles without color or fragrance burn coolest. A good place to start is emergency candles. Also, the distance between candle and skin makes a big difference. It will be a lot hotter at 6 inches away than at 18 inches away. A Dominant should test on themselves first to make sure that the temperature is right. If the scene really isn't working there is nothing wrong with safewording and discussing the problem. It is much better to safeword out than to have something go wrong and spoil the fun not only for the present, but also potentially spoil a tool for future use. This is especially true for beginners. When you are gagged a safeword can take the form of snapping fingers or dropping something that was placed in your hand.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:49:45 AM)
You can't expect to love everything. Some women don't like oral sex and I totally don't get that...but they don't. I suggest trying something three times before making a clear decision on it when it's a "maybe" situation like this. Once is just to feel it and get a sense of it, twice is to get into the groove, and third is to have enough info to make a decision and to have gotten the "kinks" worked out. Most people when they do wax ONLY do wax- they don't do any other play as an interference. This is partly because wax gets EVERYWHERE and you don't want it getting on all your other toys and stuff. And because wax takes time to get on and off, it tends to be a nice soft, often spiritually connective, sort of scene. And obviously for the reason of your experience- it distracts and takes away from the wax itself. For your reading pleasure, why not try this: This is my general wax play design, easily modifiable if you want to include multiple people. Supplies: wax, long tip lighter, sheet or tarp, baby oil, knife, baby powder, blindfold, (if using a crock pot, ladle, spatula, paintbrush, any other spreading toys that look interesting) Get the wax: Either two blocks of paraffin and two glassed church candles melted together in a crock pot, or just the church candles for easier transporting. I haven't noticed much temperature derivation using these types of candles, but white wax is harder to see where it falls and green tends to just look black on a person. Start prep at least 2 hours before the scene by lighting the candles or starting the wax to melt. If the candles are cold, it will take longer and the wax won't melt as evenly Prep the area: Flat surface is necessary, a bondage or massage table usually works fine and is padded. Outside is nice because you don't have to worry about getting wax on anything. If you are on the floor, put a flannel sheet or comforter down first to keep things from being too cold. Cover with an old sheet or tarp, and if you're off the floor, cover the area nearby as well. Wax will get everywhere! Lay out all supplies beforehand, you don't want to have to leave burning candles or naked person alone too long. Also, make sure your area is well-heated. Even though the wax will get them warm and give them a nice shell, when it comes off they will feel the cooler air. Prep the people: Don't wear your good fetish gear! Again, wax will get everywhere. For the waxer, wear throw away clothes and/or an apron. For the waxee, get them naked and blindfolded. I like to have their focus totally on the wax sensations and you don't have to worry about wax splattering into eyes. Lay them down on the surface, starting stomach down usually works best. Start the scene: Start to connect with the bottom by massaging their skin, letting them relax into position and get used to your touch. Massage the baby oil onto their skin. Not only does this feel yummy, but prevents wax from painfully sticking to hair and makes it much easier to peel or scrape off. Once you're fully into the scene, you can get into the wax. Waxing: I start generally about 18 inches above the persons skin. Get a good full layer all over their body. Be careful about dripping on the sides as the skin is more sensitive. Once you've established an initial layer, you can have more fun with sensations, bringing the wax lower or higher to build heat (the higher the wax, the more the splatter). You can paint the wax on, let it drip slowly or just wash it over them with a ladle. The feet are also lots of fun. On the stomach, be careful of the belly button. Sometimes it's good just to put a plug of wax in there or cover it with a cotton ball. Removing wax: Wax is likely to still be slightly soft and pliable. If you're peeling the wax, getting as much in one motion is a very awesome feeling for the sub. Slowly start at the edges and pull up, gathering the wax as you go. If you scrape, just press down gently and pull towards the wax and down. There's always a few drips and splatters to scrape off. If you've used oil, it should come off fairly easily. Don't try to get off every piece of wax- a good shower will do the best job at that. After the wax: Once you've removed the wax, I sprinkle babypowder all over the skin. The skin is very sensitive at this point and the cool softness of the powder feels like rose petals just falling down. You can rub the powder in and smooth over the skin. This will help dry off some of the oil as well. If you want to reuse your sheet, put it in the freezer to freeze the wax, take it outside and get as much as you can off by shaking or pulling it. Then toss in the washer and drier to remove the rest. http://www.collarchat.com/m_313162/mpage_1/key_wax%252Cplay/tm.htm#314761 wax play http://www.collarchat.com/m_154985/mpage_1/key_wax%252Cplay/tm.htm#155014 wax http://www.collarchat.com/m_152905/mpage_1/key_wax%252Cplay/tm.htm#153176 waxplay on wikipedia http://www.collarchat.com/m_124882/mpage_1/key_wax%252Cplay/tm.htm#124963 crockpots used for paraffin http://www.collarchat.com/m_94679/mpage_1/key_wax%252Cplay/tm.htm#94772 wax job

hizgeorgiapeach -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:52:24 AM)
quick reply here - Sapphire, First, I'm sorry to hear that your initial experience with Wax Play was so unpleasant - it can be INCREDIBLE when done well/at the right time. I personally LOVE wax play, and one of the local groups that I occasionally attend meetings for had a Wax Play demo at their party over the weekend that I helped out with. (Being the play junkie that I am - I volunteered to be a "test dummy" for those who wished to try Pouring wax. Laid there on the drop cloth covered table for about half an hour while several of the group's dominants experimented with heights and techniques to create "artistic" patterns of wax.) I have to agree with what Fox mentioned about it possibly being too much for a first time, what with everything else that was going on. I also Definitely agree with the Paraffin Spa kits as a good way to go for general wax play. Dr Schools puts out a really good one which maintains the paraffin wax at a consistent, comfortable temperature. They look very much like medium sized crock pots, and my guess is that they work in much the same way. You can also use the old potpourri warmer pots (the ones that use a small heat source underneath) if you're only going to be using a small amount of wax. The paraffin for such is meant to be used several times before it's replaced, it can be pealed from the body relatively easily and placed back in the spa for remelting, and it's Designed to be used on the body without damaging you. The wax is available for these types of paraffin spas in fairly large blocks at reasonable prices as well - and keeping the cost reasonable is always a good thing. If you're going to use candles rather than a paraffin spa, look for those which are paraffin based - they melt/burn at a much lower temperature, thus increasing the safety factor. If you can find candles which are paraffin based that also happen to have a low mineral oil content, that's even better - the oil content lowers the melting point even further. A good place to start looking for that type of candle is the tall, thin glass container candles that have the various religious pictures on the glass. (Yes, that might seem a bit sacrilegious to those who are devout - but the type of candle involved in exactly the type of thing I'm talking about.) Unfortunately, I'm going to have to disagree with what Doll mentioned. Beeswax is not a particularly good choice - it burns much hotter than paraffin, and is very Sticky to boot. If using a beeswax based candle, then the wax has to be dropped from a significantly greater height above the body in order to give it sufficient time to cool to a point where it won't produce burns. Whatever you do, Don't use Saraffin based candles instead of paraffin based. They burn even hotter than beeswax, and thus are much more likely to cause burns and damage. A few suggestions/tips for making clean up easier: Rub a small amount of oil over the area to be waxed. This will help when lifting/peeling the wax from the body later. (Mineral oil based massage oils work fantastic, though baby oil is an ok substitute that many people already have on hand) Invest in a cheap plastic shower cap - they can be found easily in pharmacies and places like dollar general, and they're invaluable in keeping wax out of your hair if you're going to be doing the waxing from a position that might splash melted wax up into the hairline. The top involved in wax play should test the temperature of the wax on the inside of their wrist or elbow. This will serve 2 purposes simultaneously. First, it will ensure that the temperature isn't unsafe - they've just dropped it onto Themselves in an area that is generally very sensitive. Second, it will give them a moment to figure out what height the wax needs to be dropped from to help ensure a safe/comfortable temperature. Do a bit of experimenting with the melted paraffin candles outside of actual scening. This will give you an opportunity to figure out what height the wax needs to be dropped from before it becomes unbearably hot for you. I hope this helps, and hope as well that your next experience with Wax is much more positive for you!

Bearlee -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 5:55:59 AM)
Awwwww… what a shame! It sounds to me like you’ve got a Dom practicing on you. No, it shouldn’t be so hot it’s ‘searing’ your flesh! Suggest to him he drop the hot wax on the inside of his arm…up near his elbow; just to get an idea how it will feel. Yup…its way hotter falling from 6” from skin than from 18”! And bluebird is right…use only white, fragrance-free candles; they will burn the coolest…lots suggest the short, fat, white emergency candles you can find anywhere. One I know melts all the wax in a pot and paints it on with a soft brush. I’ve dripped it over and over a body until there is a nice ‘skin’ covering the entire torso. THEN…taken my knife and peeled the wax off in one large piece; taking special care around nipples, belly-button, and other sensitive bits! OMG…it’s heaven; regardless who’s getting all the attention! I don't think I'd like the pins in the way. First of all; they really shouldn't be on longer than 15 minutes or so (depending on the actual bite of the pin)...and they'd just be in my way. Ask your Dom to try again...and do some testing on hisself before he drips the stuff on you.

JohnWarren -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 6:47:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sapphirepleasure Wow, that's amazing. It never occured to me that someone would want it hotter! Beeswax may be a better choice for me since I am such a wuss when it comes to pain. There is wide variation in the temperatures from any wax because of a number of variables but in general beeswax is hotter than paraffin. If you are looking for a cooler melting wax, try the candles that come inside tall glass cylinders in the ethnic food sections of your grocery store. In all cases, the dom should test the temperature of a particular wax dripping on his own forearm. That's the best way to judge the actual variation between candles. There is an excellent and inexpensive book from Greenery Press called Wax and Temperature Play. It is written by a professor of chemistry at one of the universities I attended.

doll -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 7:02:06 AM)
Again a fast reply. I will have to call my friend that suggested beeswax...the liar lol. I have never used it, but that is what he told me to use if I didn't like it too hot. Personally I have just used regular candles that I have at home. I appreciate being corrected and am sure glad I found that out before using it myself.

Lashra -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 7:09:26 AM)
My subs first time with wax he didn't really like either. I think its because I used wax and ice on him and it was just too much at one time. He isn't against it though and we are going to try again using just the wax this time. I personally love the feel of hot wax against my skin and I think once you both find just the right way of doing it for you, it will make the world of difference.[:)] Enjoy ~Lashra

spankmepink11 -> RE: What's up with Wax? (6/12/2006 7:22:50 AM)
Saphirepleasure, it is unfortunate that you found the wax play so distasteful.....i adore it. I agree with one post that suggested that maybe there were too many other factors in play at the time. I would also suggest that both you and your Partner read up a bit on the subject using the many excellent references supplied in this thread, and experiment a bit before deciding it's not for you. Bearlee...i was in danger of a bit of meltdown myself** after reading your post....mm.[;)] Now if y'all will excuse me...i need to run out and buy a remington parrafin wax spa

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