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lizi -> RE: Very New but Intrigued (9/12/2012 5:29:09 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
I am not telling the poster to cheat, I am telling her to take care of herself and do what SHE needs to do to do and make HER OWN decision.
SHe might not decide to cheat at all anyway. I hope she finds a dom who is supportive of her emotionally, stablizing her, and she might find she doesnt need sex at this time.
But its her business, I knew what I said would not be popular. SHe can do what she needs to do in private, her kids dont have to be exposed, and under the circumstances I would not advise her to tell her husband. She cant make him do the right things for himself, its his responsiblity besides, she can just try to lead him there. Why is it all on her to fix him?
ANyway poster, you ever need to talk message me. Im super busy these days, but Id be glad to talk with you.
GOOD LUCK IN YOUR DECISIONS.
Her decision involves her family because she is married, she has others to think of that are an intrinsic part of what her reality is. She is not single or childless, therefore she cannot really make a decision that affects only her in some kind of an isolation bubble, everything she does will have ramifications to the ones she is tied to. She has been encouraged to think of those ramifications and where they might go, what they might lead to. You are encouraging her to act as though she were single, but she isn't. It's not simply that what you said is unpopular, it doesn't actually even exist.
Saying that her kids don't have to be exposed is rather like wishful thinking. Of course they're exposed. Just because she's not bringing the guy in for public displays of affection doesn't mean that once again what she does exists in a vacuum. She is their mother, whatever she does is part of their world, plus there is always the chance that she'll be found out.
It's on her to fix him because:
-He is ill and cannot actually manage fixing himself.
-She can make decisions and think things through.
-Part of his illness means he has no interest in fixing things.
When one part of the equation isn't functioning, it's up to the other part to take up the slack. She can say it's on him to do his part and then when it's not done she'll end up with it all anyway. It's not like this seriously ill man is going to snap out of it because he's asked to 'fix himself'.
I'd just like to suggest to the OP in general that sometimes it helps to find out why some people post the way they do. You can always go to someone's profile and click on the 'view forum posts' button to get an idea of why they post the way they do, and why they may hold certain opinions.
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