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frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 8:33:04 AM

JamieTS

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Hello, I am about to give my life to a mistress that whats to mold me in her own way. My concern is that she wants to put on a frenum chastity on my penis. I have been on hormones for over a year and don't get hard much anymore or cum for that matter. my be a few water drops..... she feels that it needs to be done to further show that my male side is gone forever. I feel this might be over done a little...

Jamie

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 8:40:58 AM

mnottertail

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Having stated these facts............

Why is it overdone? How could this possibly be true?

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 8:48:53 AM

MsKatHouston

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Why overdone? She may just want to do it for the hell of it. What are your real issues for not having it done? I would be honest with her about your feelings about it so you can both deal with it. But I would not classify the act itself as too much.

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 9:01:27 AM

chastesubbie

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I may not understand entirely what the issues are here, since you are a TS. I do desire to be owned and put in chastity by my Owner/Keyholder, and i would want to be chastised utilizing a piercing signifying Her complete ownership of me. For me, the symbolism of this is very powerfull, and i suspect this is why your Mistress wants it, although i certainly can't speak for Her.

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 9:05:28 AM

aellea

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ok i'm going to really make enemies here but why would someone wish to turn off something that gives them so much pleasure. sounds like south carolina decided to eliminate pleasure thru the use of a penis now!!!

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 9:06:03 AM

andal

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I would definitely examine your thoughts and feelings on this. You've embarked on a major change in your life and have made some significant progress. You say that it is "overdone," yet many would say the same of changes you have already made? Ultimately it is up to you whether you want to submit or not, similar to whether to fully transition. (Which I do not know if you are going to do, or are planning on, or that is something you won't be wanting to do.)

Don't feel you have to answer these questions to anyone but yourself and your Mistress, but thinking about them might help you along the process.

If the reason you feel it is overdone is because you want to be rid of your masculine appendage and would really rather have nothing to do with it, I can understand that motivation. But in that case, why not let your Mistress have her way with it until it IS gone? (There may be reasons you have against that, and again that's fine.)

If it is because you have a limit involving piercings, well, that's another story entirely and I would address that similar to how I would address any other limit be it a soft or hard limit. (Education and Communication!) Frenum piercings are among the safest genital piercings, heal quickly, and don't interfere with any natural body processes like a PA would.

If you are worried about going through metal detectors, or it being visible under clothing, etc, there are chastity kits that address this.

If it is the realization that you aren't going to have access to that body part anymore and it will be a 24/7 tangible sign of your Mistress' power over you? I would see it similar to a collar in that regards (symbolic jewelry representative of the relationship between you and your Mistress.)

Whether it is overdone for YOU, is the real question. Think about it, talk about it with her, feel free to keep bugging us. There might even be some good advice out there.

Regardless, good luck on your journey, (you've made some wonderful progress from what I see) and I hope you find the answers you seek!

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 9:17:06 AM

composer83

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sounds to me like you've already jumped in the pool.......whats the harm in swimming over to the deep end? especially if you intend to surrender everything to Her........then do it.......do it 100%....do it with pride........

~m

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/12/2006 9:18:39 AM

MistressLorelei

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You either are okay with her molding you her own way, or you aren't. You say you are about to give your life over to her... so apparently, you either aren't ready to do that, OR you are not with the right person, OR the communication and relationship ideals between the two of you are not in sync.

It doesn't sound over the top to Me.... but I think a chastity device belongs on any male. Perhaps she has had positive experiences with chastity devices, they simply excite her, or she finds the presence of such a thing emotionally powerful for both, regardless of any need physically.

Perhaps, having the device on, will be a reminder of your manhood, when it is something you don't want to focus on. Whatever the reason, I would communicate your thoughts openly and honestly. Hearing a reason why you have a block for something, is much better than hearing 'I just don't want to'. If you can't talk about things with the person who you are handing your life to... who can you talk to?

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/13/2006 12:14:32 AM

FelinePersuasion

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by turning it off you mean not getting hard much any more? Often times a male to female does not find joy or enjoyment from their genitals. Most wish they would match their gender identification on the inside.

I had a mtf friend and she did not see her penis as a sexual organ to enjoy,

quote:

ORIGINAL: aellea

ok i'm going to really make enemies here but why would someone wish to turn off something that gives them so much pleasure. sounds like south carolina decided to eliminate pleasure thru the use of a penis now!!!

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/13/2006 12:52:48 PM

tasha_tart

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Have to agree with you on that. Most of the MtF's I know (and i know several, both online and in person) feel that way...some to the point of hating that appendage.

Tasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

by turning it off you mean not getting hard much any more? Often times a male to female does not find joy or enjoyment from their genitals. Most wish they would match their gender identification on the inside.

I had a mtf friend and she did not see her penis as a sexual organ to enjoy,

quote:

ORIGINAL: aellea

ok i'm going to really make enemies here but why would someone wish to turn off something that gives them so much pleasure. sounds like south carolina decided to eliminate pleasure thru the use of a penis now!!!

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/13/2006 1:02:53 PM

tasha_tart

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First off, I think you should be having this discussion with her. It's obvious you have some reservations about this change and you need to talk to her about them.

Without knowing exactly why you are reluctant, I can address a couple of the piercing issues.

If you are concerned about the piercing itself, I can understand that. My very first piercing was a barbell in my frenum. The pain was far less than I'd braced myself for (the forceps hurt more) and it healed very quickly. Of course, your results could vary.

If you're concerned about the permanence of it vs a need to remove it (for medical or other reasons) there are ways of making it difficult to remove casually (or make it obvious if you did) while still allowing the ER to get it off. A ring cutter would likely work well.

Just my two cents.

Tasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: JamieTS

Hello, I am about to give my life to a mistress that whats to mold me in her own way. My concern is that she wants to put on a frenum chastity on my penis. I have been on hormones for over a year and don't get hard much anymore or cum for that matter. my be a few water drops..... she feels that it needs to be done to further show that my male side is gone forever. I feel this might be over done a little...

Jamie

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"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/13/2006 1:50:18 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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I wrote to the OP on the other side...
However, I would like to address this in the board from another angle.
A piercing may not be a big deal except in the emotional or commitment sense of it.
Some boys love it and will do it at the drop of a hat. They don't even think about doing it as anything meaningful in a D/s or M/s relationship. It is just preferred body modification, and they enjoy it for their own self. Others take it seriously as a mark of ownership and a symbol of the Domina's power. That is how I would view it.
I am in discussion with a boy at this time who was very disappointed with the fact that he did this at the bidding of a Domina he had not yet met, but she asked him to do this as a sign of her ownership. He was willing and happy to do so, but then was hurt because he never heard from her again once the deed was done. He is past that hurt now, but it was quite the little disillusionment to think he was doing something special for someone special, only to find it was all a game to the Lady in question.
If you are in a real time relationship and she wants this, then you need to talk to her about it. Otherwise, please take your time about such a body modification and what it means to you emotionally.
Just a bit of food for thought to all the boys out there who may be reading.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/13/2006 1:52:15 PM >

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/13/2006 3:06:09 PM

chastesubbie

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I find it quite incredulous that someone would get a piercing done at the urging of some "Domme" that he has never seen. What's even worse is her claiming ownership over him and requiring this, and then disappearing. Stories like this unfortunately give the D/s lifestyle a negative image, but then I suppose the the naive and dishonest will always be among us.

Although many enjoy and even relish piercings as decoration, artwork, or personal expression, I am not among them. I would get a piercing on my genitals only if I was in a committed relationship with my Domme to signify Her ownership of me and the deep emotional bond I would hope to have in such a relationship. It would signify Her possession of me, and knowing that I was so owned and cared for would complete my submission to the Woman I honor, obey, and love.

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RE: frenum chastity - 6/14/2006 1:53:11 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chastesubbie

I find it quite incredulous that someone would get a piercing done at the urging of some "Domme" that he has never seen. What's even worse is her claiming ownership over him and requiring this, and then disappearing. Stories like this unfortunately give the D/s lifestyle a negative image, but then I suppose the the naive and dishonest will always be among us.

Although many enjoy and even relish piercings as decoration, artwork, or personal expression, I am not among them. I would get a piercing on my genitals only if I was in a committed relationship with my Domme to signify Her ownership of me and the deep emotional bond I would hope to have in such a relationship. It would signify Her possession of me, and knowing that I was so owned and cared for would complete my submission to the Woman I honor, obey, and love.

Of course.
You seem to know this, and I seem to know this, but many do not, and there are in depth online and telephone relationships where trust has been built, or thought to have been built. Hindsight is always 20-20, isn't it?
And remember, there are many who consider a longer term online and telephone relationship to have that deep emotional bond. I am not one of those people, but there are many out there.
I share this since I do know that many boys are happy to do this sort of body mod, but it does mean something special. If an experience can be shared that might help another, I think it should be shared.

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Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
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