knowing what one is asking for (Full Version)

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chains314 -> knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 9:29:26 AM)

When a sub or slaves sees he or she is willing to do any thing ask of them  but has no experience that is a bit dangerous for both the sub and Dominate is it not it



Theo23 -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 9:47:07 AM)

Chains,

      I think with no expierence it's a little unrealistic a sub or slave (assuming they're mentally healthy) would be willing to do anything. Is the sub or slave including things such as never seeing thier friends/family again, castration, or hurting people they care about at the whim of thier dominant? Often when I see a fellow submissive say the word 'anything', it does little but to show whatever Dominant is listening that the submissive doesnt have a realistic picture of D/s, and is likely more into the fantasy then reality. My two cents.

   



missturbation -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 9:59:49 AM)

I agree with Theo23.
To say you will do 'anything' is an indication you know what you are getting into.  As a newbie you can only truly know what you have heard or imagined may be asked of you so you certainly don't have the full picture.
Of course there probably are subs out there who will do anything but i think they would be very few and far between.
 
To commit yourself to doing 'anything' is surely a dangerous thing in any circumstance? 
 



lisa1978 -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 10:01:09 AM)

Any gross generalizations are stupid so a new person saying that you must put it in the proper context. The two things that come to my mind are either they are over romanticizing but are still sane and rational and are putting trust in you to be sane, respectful and responsible and saying and doing is very much up in the air, or they have some mental issues and yes that can mean danger for both.

To me I do not think you can judge something like that without knowing the actual context of who, how and when a submissive said it.





ownedgirlie -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 10:40:15 AM)

The desire to want to do anything and the ability to actually do anything are two completely different things.  Often times a submissive, particularly one who is new to his/her submission, will say something like that, really wanting to believe it.  A wise dominant will not take such a statement at face value, but will study the submissive to understand his/her real capabilities and boundaries.  One thing my Master was always careful about was ensuring I was telling him what I truthfully felt, and not what I thought he wanted to hear from me.  Sometimes submissives, in their yearning to be pleasing, believe they are ready for something they are not.  That happened to me from time to time, but my Master would always discover it in his exploration of me. 



SenseofBelonging -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 11:50:40 AM)

i think the op has been misunderstood. i think he's asking about his willingness to perform a specific act with which his Mistress has no experience. in my own case, Mistress has asked me to do things neither of U/us had experience with, but in each case She researched the subject well, spoke with Her mentor and other Dommes, and in a few cases, even tried it Herself first to ensure She brought no harm to Her submissive. She values what is Hers enough to do the homework.



ownedjulia -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 11:53:02 AM)

Yes this is all very true. I fell into that trap myself and fortunatley I have a Master who knows that sometimes anything/no limits is a phallacy.

The second time i knew what i was letting myself in for so the request was phrased slightly differently [:D]



ownedgirlie -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 11:54:29 AM)

willing to do anything asked of them  I took that as anything, rather than something specific.  Hopefully the OP can clarify. 



sabswife -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 11:59:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The desire to want to do anything and the ability to actually do anything are two completely different things.  Often times a submissive, particularly one who is new to his/her submission, will say something like that, really wanting to believe it.  A wise dominant will not take such a statement at face value, but will study the submissive to understand his/her real capabilities and boundaries.  One thing my Master was always careful about was ensuring I was telling him what I truthfully felt, and not what I thought he wanted to hear from me.  Sometimes submissives, in their yearning to be pleasing, believe they are ready for something they are not.  That happened to me from time to time, but my Master would always discover it in his exploration of me. 


i agree with this completely :)



BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 12:06:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The desire to want to do anything and the ability to actually do anything are two completely different things.  Often times a submissive, particularly one who is new to his/her submission, will say something like that, really wanting to believe it.  A wise dominant will not take such a statement at face value, but will study the submissive to understand his/her real capabilities and boundaries.  One thing my Master was always careful about was ensuring I was telling him what I truthfully felt, and not what I thought he wanted to hear from me.  Sometimes submissives, in their yearning to be pleasing, believe they are ready for something they are not.  That happened to me from time to time, but my Master would always discover it in his exploration of me. 


Nicely stated ..as usual... [;)]



littleone35 -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 1:34:13 PM)

I alway clafiry it by saying i will do anything within reason and does not break my hard limits and does not harm myself or others.  Within Reason is the key phrase.

Matt's littleone



Fawne -> RE: knowing what one is asking for (6/12/2006 8:28:36 PM)

How can we really know before RL exposure or experience?

I  knew SM existed. The whips + chains, cool dominatrix', hot leathermen, the "scary" websites featuring sex slaves with  twisted, tortured expressions (um, all while being twisted and tortured <g>)

It wasn't until I heard of D/s that any of this reasonated. All my life, I had these feelings I did not have words for.

SO.. to make a long story short.. I tried it. I liked it. D/s + BDSM.  The warped expression on my own face. Who knew?

I had no idea that I was a masochist. I have a twisted nervous system that with the right person, trust, chemistry the experience can be multi layered and beyond what I can yet comprehend.

Please, this does not mean all pain is good and is only this girl's place. 
1. Pure pleasure.
2.Pleasure can go to pain and still be sensed as pleasure and pain - a full circle.
3. Pain. In devotion, for his sadistic pleasure, I am grateful to serve and be a vehicle for his passions.  Enough said.

Very complicated, at least for me. 

Thank you.
Love to all, fawne 



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