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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/12/2012 4:28:37 AM

HisPet21

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So, I'll begin with the mandated: "Everybody is a special, unique snowflake. The proportion of mental and physical investment in play will vary from person to person."

Now, with that out of the way...

For me, the mental aspects of play are extremely important. I get off on power exchange. I get off on my own feelings of subservience and the knowledge that my dom is in charge. So, unless I am in sub/slave head space and I know that he is in Dom/Master head space, I can't enjoy any sort of BDSM play. And believe me, in the beginning, when we were first exploring this avenue, there were plenty of times when we tried play and couldn't enjoy it because we'd yet to establish a clear, firm power dynamic.

That's not to say that the physical is unimportant. Bondage, impact play, wax play, and the like are all physical manifestations of our power exchange, which allow him to reinforce his dominant role and allow me to reinforce my submissive role. But, for me at least, the physical act of a beating doesn't establish a power exchange; the power exchange must first exist and the play reinforces it. As you can see, I'm not one for casual sex or play.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/12/2012 6:01:40 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

How much of Bdsm is physical and how much is mental. I ask because without a mental connection I dont feel I personally could do anything . Or is that just me ?

I'm going to answer this as if you'd asked about an emotional connection. As a bottom, I'm more self-centered. When I am a submissive in a relationship, I'll do things for a Dom that I wouldn't do for a Top.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/12/2012 6:14:19 AM

Lucifyre

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As a very dominant type person in the vanilla part of my life, my D/s with Mr HAS to be mostly mental. If my head isn't there with Him (or anyone else I scene with for that matter) it doesn't work. I have to make a conscious effort to keep my head in the right place with Him...and it sometimes can be a real struggle because I am not submissive by nature. I can bottom easily, but then I don't get to the place I need to be.
It's funny though because for me at least, I need some of the physical things to keep my head in the mental place too. I wear silver cuffs on my wrists 24/7. I sleep with leather cuffs on my ankles. I spend most of my day when He and I are home alone nakid. I kneel next to Him and put my head on His leg. There are other things too, some that I have to do on my own and some things that He tells me to do or does to me, even if we are not sceneing...all those things help me keep my head in submissive mode. Sometimes when I have to deal with vanilla stuff it is difficult to transition back out of that headspace to be submissive to Him, but the physical reminders make that a little bit easier for me.
So, to answer your question OP...there is no "how much" for me. I need both 100% of the time for this to work for me.

Lucifyre

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/12/2012 1:13:33 PM

culareD

Posts: 762
Joined: 8/16/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucifyre

As a very dominant type person in the vanilla part of my life, my D/s with Mr HAS to be mostly mental. If my head isn't there with Him (or anyone else I scene with for that matter) it doesn't work. I have to make a conscious effort to keep my head in the right place with Him...and it sometimes can be a real struggle because I am not submissive by nature. I can bottom easily, but then I don't get to the place I need to be.
It's funny though because for me at least, I need some of the physical things to keep my head in the mental place too. I wear silver cuffs on my wrists 24/7. I sleep with leather cuffs on my ankles. I spend most of my day when He and I are home alone nakid. I kneel next to Him and put my head on His leg. There are other things too, some that I have to do on my own and some things that He tells me to do or does to me, even if we are not sceneing...all those things help me keep my head in submissive mode. Sometimes when I have to deal with vanilla stuff it is difficult to transition back out of that headspace to be submissive to Him, but the physical reminders make that a little bit easier for me.
So, to answer your question OP...there is no "how much" for me. I need both 100% of the time for this to work for me.

Lucifyre

The empires of the future are the empires of the mind. ~Winston Churchill

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/13/2012 12:28:05 AM

ResidentSadist

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51% / 49%

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/13/2012 4:42:35 AM

FrankAr

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBlueangel

How much of Bdsm is physical and how much is mental. I ask because without a mental connection I dont feel I personally could do anything . Or is that just me ?

Mine are more mental orientated. She hears the voice, she goes weak. She waits for the emails. She waits for a phone call. This is because I have gone into her head. Anyone can get physical on people, but getting into their fucken head and making sure they know about it....YEAH TO RIGHT.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/13/2012 7:00:30 AM

Char2688

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You can judge the intelligence of both parties with this question!....those without mental capabilities will rank the physical part higher.....the more it is mental, the smarter the individuals usually are.....those that argue the point will probably fall under the diminished mental capability segment.....and those people are out there, wanting to whip and abuse anyone without finding out how their mind works.......please argue this poi t so I can start classifying people.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/13/2012 7:21:44 AM

Bigsqueezer

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It's both - of course. I fear you perhaps meant to ask something else. I could spank my couch and get nothing out of it (pure physical) but spanking a person... the sounds, the begging; ok that's something else. But porn can always work.

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RE: Physical versus Mental - 9/13/2012 7:57:05 AM

chatterbox24

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RaspberryLemon

It is different for everyone. The variation of human beings allows for each individual's feelings and motivations to be different.

For me personally, it's all about the mental. I sure do love the physical, and it's a BIG part of it--but in essence, the physical is nothing but a tactile manifestation of the mental aspects. Without the mental foundation and connection, the physical stuff means nothing to me and has zero appeal.

THis^. TO correlate with this I woud like to add someone once told me in order for things to be complete one must feed the mind, the heart, the body, then you capture the soul. A union made in heaven, I always liked this. But its all very individual, how anyone feels.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 9/13/2012 8:00:41 AM >

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