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RE: Need Advice - 9/14/2012 6:58:46 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

I think experienced submissives make great mentors for newbie Doms, if they can't find a Dom to mentor them (which, I admit, would be preferable). But if you agreee to not play or exchange power, a sub can give you a subs perspective, that could lead you to more success in the scene. Of course, she can't tell you how to swing that new toy, unless she is switch. But even if you find a Dom mentor, there's bound to be toys you want to learn that he has no interest in. That's where you have to find a skill specific mentor, or take a class, or somesuch. I think the best of all possible worlds for a new Dom would be to be mentoured by a Dom and his sub, so you could hear both perspectives, and see what it looks llike in action.

But, yes, a sub would be best off mentored by a more expeirienced sub.

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(in reply to joewordsmith11)

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RE: Need Advice - 9/16/2012 4:18:27 PM

kham38

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

Approach this just the same as a date. If you don't have sex on a first date then don't do it now. If you don't want to date anyone with a girlfriend, then dont do it now. If you don't like being spanked and your date wants to spank you, don't spend any time with him. Calling yourself submissive doesn't mean you are at the beck and call of any man who wants to get into your pants. Be selective.

Thank you for this advice, as a "newbie" I am confused as to the method of really connecting with a Dom who shares the same interests. I've run into quite a few Doms who want to "help" me, but the more we talk, it turns out they just want to get into my pants. Right now I just want to learn as much as possible and find out if what I'm looking for is even possible. Sometimes I get replies that mirror what I say I want, only to find out they are just telling me what I want to hear in hopes that I will submit to them. It's hard finding honest people who are what they say they are.

< Message edited by kham38 -- 9/16/2012 4:23:59 PM >

(in reply to lizi)

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