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The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 12:17:47 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Fate can be a bitch, because we all grow older, get older, become older. I really don't know what the Hell I'm doing right but most people peg me for being between 10-15 years younger than I actually am. I'm physically active, always have been. Perhaps that's a big part of it. I don't know.

I personally don't have an issue with being with somebody younger, actually at this point in time. I am seriously focused more upon somebody younger than me. Mainly because I have desire to still have kids (there are a few other reasons too).

I don't claim that anything about my life is normal. I'll make jokes about my luck and the strangeness that seems to surround me. Anyways, yeah... I still hit up the dance clubs from time to time even. Yeah, I even get little vanilla hotties hitting me up to dance and have a good time with. Yet, I'm very socialable I'm also rather distant at the same time. The other week... this one black dude was pulling out some killer moves on the dance floor. Anyways, he saw me pulling some moves... made the finger gesture and cleared out part of the floor for me. Open Invitation for a dance off.. So, this white Dude could not resist. I've always loved to danced. One of those things I've practiced up doing at home for my own enjoyment even.

There is a point to this thread, some where. However, I'm attempting to share a little more information with everybody. Last friday I went for a meet up in Harrisburg. Had a blast. Anyways, again... that dreadful topic of age popped up. People younger than me mistaking me for being younger than them even! LOL. It's reached a point now, that I avoid giving out a straight answer on my age. Yet, at the same time... I'm getting the sense of Soon or never kind of thoughts popping into the back of my mind.

It's been rather ironic, I went back home (my home town) for the Reunion weekend. The time of year when everybody visits to catch up with people. There are unofficial reunions along with official reunions. Anyways, a friend of mine which is older.. He's 52 now just had a baby girl. He's another Dude that's been blessed with aging well. Then I sit and watch TV and see some of these older celebrities (actors and such). Just now having kids, with somebody younger that they have married and etc.. So, I know I'm still within the age range for this.

I'm not certain, but I think there's a little bit of an issue with the intentional desire of knocking somebody up... AKA Breeding is a bit of a TOS issue??? That word appears to be a rather dirty word on the other side. Along with the topic of older DOMs chasing younger girls/women. LOL Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... How do you like me now! Pfffffffftttttt....

Biological Clock is on the count down for me. Guess that's the part where Age differences factor in here. Other lifestyle factors apply, because like I already expressed. I'll still go out and hit up dance clubs. Go places and do things.... So somebody younger than me is actually a little more condusive to other aspects of my lifestyle. That's lifestyle in general and not just the BDSM lifestyle.

It's ironic because when I was younger, I had no problem going for women older than me (sly dog that I am). But things have changed.

I've meet some amazing sub/slave's from here that are closer to my age. Just for friendly conversation. Seems like 90% of the time it turns out that they have some form of interest in me... outside of friendship. Then I reach a point of expressing that I'm interested in having kids and that I'm really interested in somebody younger. I really don't have a hardset age limit range. Mindset and personality tends to factor a lot into it.

To make matters worse I'm extremely picky to begin with. I have a close submissive friend here in town that I've known for a few years. She's 25 now... however there's some negatives. Things that don't work out well. We both ended up exploring things a little deeper one night. Mainly, I think to clear the thoughts of something more from our minds. The downside was that I was the one not feeling it. She was however. Actually, found myself feeling a bit more like service top. Truly not really into it, nor her like I should be. Needless to say, simply not anybody will do.

I'm not gonna pretend for a moment that what I'm looking for is easy to find at all. I'm also not out to Dom every girl that I see or encounter. I find myself doing the same thing with profiles on the otherside, that I'll do while out and about in a crowd. Looking at girls, saying to myself.. "nope, nope, nope" along with the reason why. Then I'll find a "maybe" and a "yes" every so often. Then go at things from there. The Yes and maybe ones, often turn into No's. Either where I rule them out or they have ruled me out. LOL.. Simply ain't happening.

I've always respected somebody else's pickyness, because I myself am picky and understand it. It's not one of those things that mentally trash my sense of self esteem, worth or ego. Anyways, Hell if I know anymore WTF point I'm sincerely trying to make in this thread anymore. Just that this is a place to Express things out in the open to a community of people with similar interests.

I've not talked with anybody about these thoughts, which have been on my mind. I'm actually rather much of a private person in person. I'm extremely social and outgoing yet private and reserved in person. I opened up a little to my counsin the other week... that I myself don't have an issue with being with somebody much younger than me. He was sort of poking his nose around asking me about things between me and somebody else (which he happens to work with). He seemed rather shocked that I myself would not have an issue with it. I already know she would, so... I'm keeping things friendly without ever needed to go there. What's funny is that my own cousin didn't realize that I was as old as I was. LOL We did not grow up together and his part of the family and mine were distant for a number of years.

I'm going to post this personal insanity now... see what the Hell happens. Perhaps some can relate, perhaps some wanna get out the pitch forks and torches. Perhaps I've tortured people with typo's and too many paragraphs of words. I'm just quickly banging this out from my thought stream.

Thanks for taking the time to read all this (if you've made it this far)...

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 12:43:39 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Ultimately, what you're talking about is obviously a very personal choice, but I can give you some things to ponder on...

Clearly your chances of having a healthy child are better with a younger women.

Regardless of how old you look or feel....you are your age. A friend of mine just had this discussion with a guy who was 56 when he kept insisting on how young he looked and how he ran half marathons, etc. The fact remains that it they had children, he'd be pushing 80 by the time the child graduated high school. Are you prepared to have a child knowing that your age could be a major factor in how things end up?

Relationships where there is more than a 10 year age gap statically have a higher rate of failure. Once you have a child you're tied to that person for life.

While younger might be more fun, do you really want the mother of your child out clubbing?

You seem to be approaching this with a great deal of thought and I find that commendable.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 12:49:10 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I confess to a certain amount of tl:dr here.

I have pretty strong feelings about kids with older parents. How old will you be when the kid graduates high school? Will you have to discuss your durable healthcare power of attorney with them just in case they get a phone call while they're at college?

If you want kids, find some nice lady that also wants kids, and have yourself some. Don't wait until you're old enough to be mistaken for grandpa. Keep in mind that the marriage is the underpinnings of the family.

Alternately, maybe you could adopt an older kid. Plenty of 'em out there.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 12:56:53 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Firstly....lucky bastard to have those genes (and the attitude/approach that seems to go with them).

One small word of caution about age differences and having kids. There's been some recent research that suggests they the age of the father has a significant impact (or at least a much higher impact than previously thought) on the health of the child. Might be worth a google if you're serious about sprogs.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 1:10:00 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Interesting to hear a man discuss biological clocks.

The difference for a man is that your biological clock is dependent on someone else. A woman can get pregnant without being in a relationship. A man could go to a surrogate to have a child, but I have not ever heard of that except in gay couples.

You could wait till you find someone you really want to be with of any age and then adopt a baby.

You could stop focusing on your age and the age of your partners and just hope to find someone compatible.

I have a 29 year old female friend who is dating a wealthy 45 year old who has a 7 year old and is in the "process" of getting a divorce. She loves him but she wants to get married and have kids asap. There is no way that is going to happen with him. She is focused on his age now, saying what if it does happen and he seems too old for kids.

It really is a conundrum and I wish you luck.


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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 1:12:40 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		I have to admit that I never really get the testimonies that so many give about being taken for younger, looking younger, acting younger, outperforming younger, etc. To me it seems like they're seriously nervous about just being themselves and the age that they are. Would it be so bad to look/feel/act your age? I know that wasn't the thrust of your OP but with the plethora of examples on how much younger everyone thinks you are, it just makes me wonder, because it seems to me that you are uncomfortable with where you are in life and the age that you are as well.

I don't know how old you are, if you want to do the kid thing I'd recommend sooner rather than later. Adoption is a viable choice. If you think you can make a life work with a younger partner then go for it, remember she'll be left behind as you age. Many younger people forget that when they go for the older partner, that they are going to be caretakers sometimes or at least not in the same stage of decline together. And it sucks when it gets to that. I've seen it happen where the younger woman is left taking care of her much older husband when she'd still like to be out dancing like you do. All of the things you can still do now OP your younger mate would be able to do too when she's your age, and you hopefully won't be holding her back. I know you wouldn't do that on purpose, but that's a possibility with couples where there is an age difference.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 1:17:59 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I do get the 'looking younger' thing, sort of. I am a well preserved member of a very youthful looking family. I have client who are my age that look older than my parents. I do tend to seek out people who match my family's 'look'.

Still, I'm not obsessed with youth, I'm excited to be turning 50 soon, and I don't have anything to prove about that. Men in my age group seem to handle it differently.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 1:18:37 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Breeding is the kink where people are "forced" to have kids, bred, and kept, as it were, like lifestock. It is generally frowned upon because the basis of this kink has no interest in the resulting child except as a trophy, and the sociopathic way it sees the people being bred. It is in itself generally a pretty advanced dehumanisation kink. Point is, unless your goal is to have as many kids as you can to prove you can and nothing else, it's going a bit far to call it "breeding".


Don't make everything about kink. It sounds like you're feeling broody and want a submissive woman to settle down with and start a family. What's wrong with that?

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 1:36:41 PM   
smartsub10


Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline 		I have to agree with another poster who states that you seem to have an issue with your age because you bring up several times how much younger you look than your true age.

OK, I can understand you being attracted to much younger women. Lots of men your age - and older - want a young woman. But, are you using the fact that only a younger woman can give you a child as an excuse for chasing young flesh? It certainly seems nobler than simply saying you lust after slender, tight girls.

As for the celebrities having children when they're in their 50's or older, well, they will be able to leave behind lots of money for the child's care because chances are the kid won't be much more than high school age when dad becomes incapacitated or dies.

I'm going to be 58 next week and don't have a problem with it at all. Life is still pretty good as far as I'm concerned. I'm at the peak of my career and am enjoying travel and good times with friends. And, I should mention that I am often taken for younger than my actual age. Sure, it's flattering, but I've still got 58 years under my belt.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 1:56:45 PM   
xLaChienne


Posts: 259
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Biological Clock is on the count down for me. Guess that's the part where Age differences factor in here. Other lifestyle factors apply, because like I already expressed. I'll still go out and hit up dance clubs. Go places and do things.... So somebody younger than me is actually a little more condusive to other aspects of my lifestyle. That's lifestyle in general and not just the BDSM lifestyle.



Your profile indicates you are 45. Nothing you have mentioned is any different than most 40 somethings I know with the exception of the married with kids type. The rest are often newly divorced, living it up, clubbing, dancing, fucking, exploring all the things they missed out on by marrying young. A smaller portion of them have never been married and it's just an extension of their party lifestyle and realizing that the clock is ticking down on the ratio of how attractive they are, their ability to pull in a younger hot partner, and ability to have a child. Every single one of them truly, honest to God, believes they look 10-15 years younger. There is trick to that. When I am around those in their 20's, they tend to think I am also in My 20's. When I am around those in their 30's, they tend to think I am also in My 30's. See where this is going? Those who don't know Me who are My same age, go by those that they associate Me with as well as my lifestyle in general plus speech patterns, so they also think I am either in My 20's or 30's. It's a long con, essentially, with an ever decreasing window of opportunity.

I don't buy into the idea that younger is more conducive to said lifestyle, it just helps to keep it established that you look, act, seem younger than you are. Otherwise, there are a ridiculous amount of men and women the same age as you with the exact same desires and ability to do all those general lifestyle interests, actually a bit more ability as they often have more money and free time available.

A friend of mine has done some research into this as 40 something thinking of having children with a 50 something man. I'm not sure where she got her information so I can't quote it. Basically, every year you are over 35 you increase the risk of birth defects or causing your partner to spontaneously abort (even a young partner). As you age your sperm deteriorates which causes DNA fragmentation. In women the odds increase for Downs Syndrome, Fragile X, and Mental Retardation. In men the odds increase for specific types of Dwarfism, Schizophrenia, severe bone malformations, and again spontaneous abortion. Having a child with a younger woman will not increase or better your odds. Your sperm is still old regardless of the age of your partner. At 20 the odds are 1:526, at 35 1:178, at 49 1:7.

Does that automatically mean you will have a special needs child? Of course not. However, before having a child I think it would behoove you to be aware of the risks and weigh out if you are really up to the challenge. Having a child will drastically effect your "lifestyle" in general. Having a special needs child will obliterate it. All regardless of the age of your partner.

I get it though. I really do. I very much enjoy the company of younger people. Great times, great laughs, great sex. I have zero issue with the preference for younger, older, etc. Just don't deceive yourself into actually thinking that you honestly do look, act, feel, etc. younger than you are. You simply look, act, and feel like you do as a man of a certain age. Genetics are kinder to some than others and you may well look oh so much younger but that doesn't mean you are.

To really gauge someones age, just look at their neck and their skin in general. A trick I learned as a teen when gross old men would hit on Me and lie about their age *laughs*. Doesn't matter how well defined and toned a man is, how hard the body or how great the hair, the skin will always give age away. No matter how great the genetics, skin loses elasticity as you age. If the skin moves around the muscle... Something I'm learning to deal with. I don't like it on My partners and hate it on Myself. For Me, I need a partner that can relate to so much more than just the fun aspects of My life. So I'm learning to deal with it, appreciate it, and accept it. Some days better than others.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 2:03:44 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

I have to agree with another poster who states that you seem to have an issue with your age because you bring up several times how much younger you look than your true age.

OK, I can understand you being attracted to much younger women. Lots of men your age - and older - want a young woman. But, are you using the fact that only a younger woman can give you a child as an excuse for chasing young flesh? It certainly seems nobler than simply saying you lust after slender, tight girls.

As for the celebrities having children when they're in their 50's or older, well, they will be able to leave behind lots of money for the child's care because chances are the kid won't be much more than high school age when dad becomes incapacitated or dies.

I'm going to be 58 next week and don't have a problem with it at all. Life is still pretty good as far as I'm concerned. I'm at the peak of my career and am enjoying travel and good times with friends. And, I should mention that I am often taken for younger than my actual age. Sure, it's flattering, but I've still got 58 years under my belt.


No, I'm not using it as the only reason for chasing younger flesh. To respond to your questioning. I'm not very linear or single reason directed. Most of the time, it's a combination of things. I've always made jokes about "Give me more than one reason to do something, and I'll end up doing it". I'm extremely associative by nature. Don't get me wrong, there are older looking hotties I find myself lusting after... however, at the same time. I can't sit there and deny my own bio clock screaming at me.

Through out my whole life, I've always been with slender, smaller framed or AKA tighter girls. That's always been a constant regardless of their age. This has been a lifelong established pattern for me anyways. I've made some attempts to step outside those bounds to be greeted with failure. Regardless of how nice or great they are, if I'm not sexually attracted to them, it just ain't happening. There's a little bit of wiggle room in what does or does not do it for me. I just accept the fact that either I am or am not sexually attracted to somebody regardless. There's some skinny tight body girls which I've not been attracted to as well.

This might sound rather strange, but I have a big thing for faces too... however, that's not the only thing. It take a certain combination of things. I can see somebody I'm initially attracted to and then find myself turned off by something and walking away. I've had friends questioned me before why I was blowing off somebody "Hot looking". Then trying to keep it simple... saying she's really not my type. So just physical appearance alone does not cut it for me.

Hope this makes sense....

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 2:22:35 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Oh honey, you never make sense! TEASING!!

We like what we like. Bear in mind that young and tight doesnt always stay that way after a few kids. Sometimes it does. A crapshoot.

+eleventy for LaChienne's post.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 2:34:00 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Setting aside the pitchfork and torches, I would say that in this day and age, you're not that old yet bro. Like your friend, my dad was 52 when he took a 19 yo and started his second family. My step mom is younger than I am. They kicked out a kid, my brother (1/2 brother) and he was in his 20s when my Dad died at 75. He left them a healthy legacy and all is well. My brother turned out to be a very nice and well balanced person. He leads a good life and is glad to have had the father he did.

In short, go for it. There are more import family values than being able to outrun or play football with your children.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 2:37:13 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I'm sorry your dad died so young, Kalon.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 3:11:02 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Going after a tight bodied young woman, making children with her, and then divorcing her because you're no longer attracted once pregnancy has eliminated that tight body is not a smart thing to do.

And it will happen. Have you planned for that? Because you need to think about it and be honest with the woman about the likelihood of this happening.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 3:25:15 PM   
CHF73


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/16/2012
Status: offline 		OK i think this one is a very delicate topic.

On one side i totally understand the OP. I'm a bit younger then him (39) and always wanted to have a kid but lately i'm starting to feel i'm about to run out of time. Not biologically, but for all the reasons that OsideGirl named in her answer (higher rate of failure in ralationship where age difference is too high; will i still be alive when he'll get out of school or, even worse, college? Will i be able to to keep up with the "duties" being a father at this or a later age? and on and on.... add your own reason here, i'm sure anyone can find plenty i haven't mentioned.
Just like the OP i don't look my age (when i shave, and i usually do, i get carded if i buy beer or go to a club...). Unlike him i don't have a preference for younger women, actually i've been for 8 years with a woman 11 years older then me who was worried she looked too old compared to me (cause of the way i look). She couldn't have kids, and that didn't bother me, i was so in love i thought i could get over that. But now i'm not so sure i would start a new relationship with someone who can't have kids. I really feel i'm missing an important part of life.

I can't agree with smartsub about OP trying to find an excuse to lust after young flesh. Said that, as long as he goes for women of legal age he wouldn't sure need an "excuse" at all us liking that or not, i can relate to his feeling of miss. Of course younger girls are not necessarely the only ones who can give him a child, is also true that biology is biology: as xLaChienne pointed out the older the father gets the higher is the probability of birth defects or spontaneous abortion. The research also said, if i remember right and cotrary to what xLaChienne said, that if both parents where old the probability of those events increased exponentially (hope i spelled it right) simply because not only the DNA in the sperm degenerates with age but also the DNA of the eggs. Yes I've heard about that research too. I think it was in a documentary i guess. Can't be sure tho. Now i can't be sure 100% what i heard and reported is accurate or true but i can't even say it's false.

The point of all my answer? I understand the OP but still can't give him any advice: if i could i wouldn't need one myself

PS: i hope what i wrote makes sense and please forgive any possible type or grammar error, not being english my own language.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 3:30:31 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xLaChienne


quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
Biological Clock is on the count down for me. Guess that's the part where Age differences factor in here. Other lifestyle factors apply, because like I already expressed. I'll still go out and hit up dance clubs. Go places and do things.... So somebody younger than me is actually a little more condusive to other aspects of my lifestyle. That's lifestyle in general and not just the BDSM lifestyle.



Every single one of them truly, honest to God, believes they look 10-15 years younger.




LOL!!!!

It's funny because it's true!

(See my previous thread about the guys who try to get away with using profile photos that haven't been current since the Reagan administration).

< Message edited by Baroana -- 9/16/2012 3:56:13 PM >

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 3:30:54 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		What you're going on about is pretty standard/ normal. Older men leave / divorce their middle- aged wives ALL THE TIME for younger women. The reasons are mostly because younger women physically look better.
Also - nature plays a part in this, where I think the brain is wired to seek out the healthiest looking people to have sex with, (to have offspring) - survival of the fittest kind of thing. - In my case THANK GOD for birth control.

My first owner was 25 years older than me. It didn't work out. To big of an age difference - generation gap. We had a hard time relating to each other - on a plethora of different subjects. He was already 2 years out of college when I was born.

As far as you looking young for your age - just remember, one day you won't. Give it ten years.

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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 3:44:35 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Going after a tight bodied young woman, making children with her, and then divorcing her because you're no longer attracted once pregnancy has eliminated that tight body is not a smart thing to do.

And it will happen. Have you planned for that? Because you need to think about it and be honest with the woman about the likelihood of this happening.


Oh Happy Happy Joy Joy... I had almost forgotten about your wonderful stylish responses. I was with somebody for 8 1/2 years which had four kids of her own. She was not able to have any more kids because she had had a hysterectomy.

I always do wonder this about you DesFIP, why you seem to make strong automatic negative associations so quickly? As a matter of fact some of the associations which you do.

This sort of entertains me... I never mentioned anything about marriage or not. Does not automatically imply that I'm looking to either or either not to get married (again). It actually was another posted that interjected the concept of tight body into this thread. I simply stated that I've always been attracted to more slender smaller framed women to begin with.

I actually find the kind of mindset you exhibit consistently on here rather unattractive and mentally taxing to deal with... which is on my hit list of deal breakers and red flags for things I watch for.

I assure you the likehood of me walking away from somebody with your general mindset and attitude is way way higher than what you seem so certain of happening.

You seem to have this ill functioning crystal ball going on, perhaps a deck of defective tarot cards.

There's also a defect in logic even, because not every women that has had kids has gotten fat as hell... so you're even assuming what some hypothectical women at this point is going to look like after child birth.

I'm very curious if you one of the followers of FOX news though... there seems to be a similar pattern of thought processed involved. (just sayin).



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RE: The Age difference factor - 9/16/2012 3:51:05 PM   
smartsub10


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Joined: 4/23/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Setting aside the pitchfork and torches, I would say that in this day and age, you're not that old yet bro. Like your friend, my dad was 52 when he took a 19 yo and started his second family. My step mom is younger than I am. They kicked out a kid, my brother (1/2 brother) and he was in his 20s when my Dad died at 75. He left them a healthy legacy and all is well. My brother turned out to be a very nice and well balanced person. He leads a good life and is glad to have had the father he did.

In short, go for it. There are more import family values than being able to outrun or play football with your children.


He died leaving a young son and a young widow but, what the hell, he had sweet young pussy for the last lap of his life and that's all that matters, right?

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
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“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
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