Jaquin
Posts: 156
Joined: 12/12/2011
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Isn't it funny sometimes how life just has this plan for us that just flies in the face of all we thought we'd do? Months ago I was solid in my thinking that, after my surgery, I would find me a nice dominant guy and that would be that. These days, I'm not only more into girls then guys, I've discovered my dom side and now consider myself a switch, and I've found that poly works for me.
The first time I topped a friend of mine at a public event I was surprised to see that I actually had strangers watching me - one of whom is now a nice dominant guy in my life  - and the second time was a totally different set of people watching me, it still surprises me now. Well my friend then suggested, why don't you try doing rigging (tying of others) as a profession. She'd totally be happy to model for me to show off my work, and she; along with a few other friends, convinced me to actually try it. So I just did my second 'official' shoot (I've done a few impromptu ones) yesterday and introduced a new model into my portfolio.
My first shoot I do not have the pictures for just yet; we used a photographer friend who is dealing with them first, but its all very exciting stuff. The rest of them have just been me doing the photography.
And then, yesterday as well before my shoot - I met with the head of a local porn site who seems interested in seeing my work and perhaps bringing me on as a rigger; at the least for two sets since two of my friends have basically said they want me as rigger for their shoots with this site.
It all has me very nervous, anxious and a bit freaked out. They keep telling me I'm good, but we're our own worst critic right? To me it's just fooling around, alone and submissive a lot of the time I practiced in self bondage a lot and always preferred rope, I'm simply applying my knowledge to others now.
How life has changed, from a lonely girl wishing for a dom, to this crazy busy almost every day is occupied with dealing with people, at least four of them woman who want to (continue being a) model for me, and rope and work and.. wow, what a thing for life to spring on me in only a few months.
All because I stepped outside my door and put myself out there and have met some of the greatest people I could ask for. And this all on top of my surgery coming up in two months I'm just a ball of emotional energy these days and loving every day that I can get out and do something towards my new goals and dreams.
I suppose I'm not writing this for any insight or advice, but just as a way of getting my thoughts in order and to say that life can go from shit to great in no time at all and while it's an emotional roller coaster it's the best thing that's ever happened to me!
Of course then there's the matter of Mr Dom in my life wanting me to consider him...
*shakes her head and wanders off contemplating the wonders of life*
(Anyone interested in seeing my work send me a CMail)
(Is it sad it took me longer to pick a title for this thread then write the post?)
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"The feeling of freedom, and freedom denied."
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