RE: Long Distance, how do you cope?

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RE: Long Distance, how do you cope? - 9/23/2012 3:38:18 PM

ParanoidAngel

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Oh my; thank you for the support ^-^

I know that his misunderstanding of anxiety is an issue; As its been reason for us to split before [we once dated and had a Dom/slave relationship and ended up going our own separate ways for a few months, only to find ourselves talking again], and i have definitely found better ways of explaining it to him; and im sure if we were to sit down and talk about it he'd understand why im scared for him to leave, seeing as military service can be dangerous, and the last thing i want is to hear that he has been fatally injured. But nonetheless he is a very stubborn, single minded natural Dom who generally doesnt care what worries people have. [some people wonder why i deal with it; but when you find yourself with feelings for someone like that... you learn to love it]

I have actually read some websites about coping with a loved one when they leave for military service, and i have seen many people say to be strong and try your hardest not to be [or show that you're] upset that theyre away; because whats best for THEM is to try and be strong. But a girl can only reassure herself so much v-v All i can really do i suppose is make sure he knows ill be here for him when he gets back, and that i dont plan on running off with some other Dom/guy while he is away.

Im also hoping that contact while hes away will be possible, he has reassured me that i can write him while hes away, and i am sure i will take advantage of that because i will feel as if there is nothing else to do with myself without him around to give orders. We have a strange relationship so nothing is ever certain with him. He tends to be very aloof and distant because he ALWAYS has some distraction [he usually picks one thing in his life and focuses on that and ONLY that], so phone calls and things of the like arent expect from him... But I dont know xP

Now i feel horrible for drawing attention from Loveseat and onto myself v-v But i am sure as the time for him to leave gets closer; I will be posting about it looking for support and advice ^-^ Thank you both for the support already, its nice to know someone's out there to talk to~

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RE: Long Distance, how do you cope? - 9/23/2012 10:52:09 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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When is he leaving, Angel?

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RE: Long Distance, how do you cope? - 9/24/2012 2:50:52 AM

nashsub4fun

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mine lives in another state and for several months i traveled there on business and we saw each other weekly. Once that came to an end we promised each other to look for opportunities to meet in other cities where we both travel for business. so far that has only happened once in eight months but will happen again in two weeks. Although we kept in touch electronically over these eight months, the feeling od "disconnection" and "losing my center" was overwhelming and depressing. i've struggled with the feeling of being lost but mature enough to remember i walked into this relationship knowing it would end at some point and gratefully take what i can get at this time. What brought us together, has split us apart - my work.

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RE: Long Distance, how do you cope? - 9/24/2012 3:31:11 AM

lilmissdefiant

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As I stated previously in a post i made on this forum, my Owner lives in another state, we maintain daily contact, yes it was highly stressful when a situation occurred when i didn't have the "normal" contact procedure. However that incident helped me realize that i cannot live through my Owner, I still have my own life to live, I am just lucky that I am apart of his, however I need to remind myself, even self-consciously that he may not be around forever, he may find someone else or I might make a major mistake that would make him not want me to be his anymore. Its a harsh reality, but its reality nonetheless. Everyone needs to have a special place inside them just for them, some part of themselves for them to fall back on should shit hit the fan. I've created this part which is just for me and I'm stronger for it. At first (when I was in my sub-frenzy especially) I wanted to give all of myself to him, that was a mistake, so in hindsight, I am happy to give Him MOST of me, but there will always be a little part of me that i keep to myself, just in case.
Its better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

< Message edited by lilmissdefiant -- 9/24/2012 3:34:30 AM >

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RE: Long Distance, how do you cope? - 9/24/2012 10:08:44 AM

ParanoidAngel

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lilmissdefiant- I really like the way you put that :]

and Athena- Honestly, he isnt sure yet; he still has to lose some weight and then they give him a leave date i guess. but it's something that's definitely happening. I'm hoping there's enough time in there so i can find a way to talk to him about it better, and prepare myself, but he says his aim is to be gone by the end of October, or at least have the date by then. It seems kinda far away but i know that every day that passes brings it closer to the time he will actually leave.

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RE: Long Distance, how do you cope? - 9/24/2012 10:44:24 AM

RemoteUser

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This is a two way street. I miss my girl, and she misses me. One thing she did (an example of why I love her so much!) was to spray her perfume for me on an article that I now keep beside my bed. One thing I have done is wear one of her plain (androgynous) shirts during most of my visit with her, which she then kept close by her when she slept.

I wish you all the best of luck in dealing with missing your other half. It's not an easy thing, I know!

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RE: Long Distance, how do you cope? - 9/24/2012 1:09:07 PM

culareD

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko

quote:

ORIGINAL: loveseat

This is a question I should have asked three weeks ago, before I threw temper tantrums and completely embarrassed myself with my child like behaviour over the absence of my owner. We have been living together for four years, and he is just now on his way home from a three week trip overseas. Because we have been physically together for so long, we didn't plan the separation very well, and so we didn't have a contingency plan for feeling connected.

In hindsight there are lots of things we could have done, but being together is so natural that it wasn't until we were apart that we both realized how important the little D/s things in our relationship are. I've felt completely lost and without purpose. I've gotten up in the morning and been able to do whatever I want, but instead have moped about the house with no real purpose or direction.

He will be home in less than 48 hours so my torment is almost over, but I'd love to read about how other subs cope with the absence of their dominant?

Make something for him while he's gone. Something time consuming - a big project. It will help you to feel close to him and give you a sense of purpose and of serving him. Surprise him with it when he returns.

THIS...

AND,

take a bubble bath
watch a sappy movie
go on a field trip
eat chocolate
hang out with friends you wouldn't normally have time to hang out with
SKYPE, IM...etc...
get caught up on projects
get outside
etc...........Good luck!!!

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