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Keeping fantasies in place - 9/17/2012 9:44:39 PM   
dreamcatcher88


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/10/2012
Status: offline 		Sometimes a fantasy is just that, a fantasy. Maybe one is not meant to bask in the shameless pleasures of the alternative lifestyle. Nevertheless, is there any fault in attempting to create a reality out from dream land?
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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/17/2012 9:55:41 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Depends on how you do it.

If you're lying to people and cheating on those you've made promises to, then there's a lot wrong.

If you don't know what you're doing, and do damage to people who trust you, that's wrong.

And some fantasies are not meant to become reality. Sometimes you do better keeping them as fantasy. It's important you know yourself and are honest with yourself as to what you really can and can't handle.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to dreamcatcher88)
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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/17/2012 10:00:02 PM   
dreamcatcher88


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/10/2012
Status: offline 		Not that I don't know myself, but what if I don't know what I can handle. Though I know what is out there I have yet to experience much of it.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/17/2012 10:10:45 PM   
loveseat


Posts: 28
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		In a vanilla context people create reality out of dreams every single day. The high school student that applies to university as a pre-med is creating a reality based on their dream of becoming a surgeon. Our dreams are what inspire us, motivate us.

In a vanilla context people bask in the shameless pleasures of their ordinary lifestyle every day. To sit on the beach and watch the sun set whilst sipping a beautiful white wine... ahhh what bliss. We love to bask, it is our reward for chasing and hopefully obtaining our dreams.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/17/2012 10:38:09 PM   
dreamcatcher88


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/10/2012
Status: offline 		You could not have responded to my post and better. Thank you

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/17/2012 11:25:20 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Nothing wrong with living out a fantasy with a trusted partner. Just make sure your expectations are not through the roof and do whatever you do safely.

Just remember it might not be the same in reality as in fantasy, but then again, it could be just as good if not better.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/17/2012 11:48:20 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamcatcher88
is there any fault in attempting to create a reality out from dream land?


Well... I'm thinking that rather depends on what's going down in dream land.

If your fantasies contain any of the following;

- Large sheets of plastic
- Chain saws
- Chisels
- Shovels

Then, unless you're an ice-sculpture fetishist, they're probably best left in dream land.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 5:49:43 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

― Mahatma Gandhi

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 6:00:41 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Fantasies can become reality when chased with a modicum of common sense and caution, bearing in mind that your fantasy could be someone elses nightmare.

But if you never go for it, how is your life any different than the cow in the fields, content to eat grass and never think beyond the moment.

I went for my fantasy and found a reality greater and lesser than the fantasy --- absolutely fabulous!

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 7:45:26 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Not all fantasies make great realities...

Threesomes are hot fantasies for many but the reality is more troublesome. Sometimes some gets jealous, or the styles of lovemaking dont match.

Gangbangs/stranger fucking...hot fantasy but safe sex, crazy people, and a host of other realities intrude.

Part of the thing a talented top/dom/master brings to the table is the ability to maximize the fantasy while dealing with,the reality.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 8:29:19 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Agreed, but for some reason, i took the OP as saying that he/she was going to dive into the pool of BDSM,not just specific fantasy situations.
As such, i would tell them to go for it - with a modicum of common sense and caution.

Very specific fantasies need to be researched and evaluated for their real time validity. For instance, i think being kidnapped and transported to another country as a slave as very hot - but the reality, not so much. After all, how would they get me past TGA?

< Message edited by kiwisub12 -- 9/18/2012 8:30:24 AM >

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 10:32:19 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamcatcher88

is there any fault in attempting to create a reality out from dream land?


Everything you've ever done in life was a dream until the first time you actually did it.

I don't mean to sound rude when I say this, but stop thinking so much and just do it! If you don't like it once you've done it, then don't do it again. But at least you'll know whether you enjoy it or not. Fantasizing about it will never answer that question.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 6:25:45 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

For instance, i think being kidnapped and transported to another country as a slave as very hot - but the reality, not so much. After all, how would they get me past TGA?


I happen to be working on the logistics of that at the moment for my own edification.

I'll let you know the results, if you're interested.



_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 7:51:59 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009


Everything you've ever done in life was a dream until the first time you actually did it.




Love this.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/18/2012 11:30:59 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamcatcher88

Sometimes a fantasy is just that, a fantasy. Maybe one is not meant to bask in the shameless pleasures of the alternative lifestyle. Nevertheless, is there any fault in attempting to create a reality out from dream land?


As long as you're being honest, everybody's a consenting adult, you respect limits, and you're not causing major injury or death or wrecking anyone's life, I don't think so.

You might not always enjoy in real life the things you fantasize about, but I think it's worth the attempt.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 9/19/2012 4:06:14 AM   
SexyThoughts


Posts: 180
Joined: 7/14/2011
Status: offline 		Are you kidding.

Like they say above, in a fight between reality and fantasy, reality will win.

But if your fantasy can be done in reality, then even if your kink is one in a million, there's people out there who will share it. And if you've got charisma, they'll even share it with you. Any fantasy.

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 10/1/2012 9:56:58 AM   
SexyLou


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/1/2012
Status: offline 		So long as what your doing doesnt hurt anybody else then no, nothing wrong with it at all.

x

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 10/1/2012 10:44:31 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SexyLou

So long as what your doing doesnt hurt anybody else then no, nothing wrong with it at all.

x


There's a difference between "harm" and "hurt". I realize that you meant "harm", but since you're new, just wanted to give you a heads up. Many here play in the deep end of the pool when it comes to pain play. So, to some being hurt is just a good time.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 10/2/2012 5:41:04 AM   
andrew960


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/10/2010
Status: offline 		For me, DesFIP had it about right - I have an off the wall fantasy, but maybe it shouldn't become reality due to the hurt it could cause other people.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
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RE: Keeping fantasies in place - 10/3/2012 6:49:33 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamcatcher88
Sometimes a fantasy is just that, a fantasy. Maybe one is not meant to bask in the shameless pleasures of the alternative lifestyle. Nevertheless, is there any fault in attempting to create a reality out from dream land?

You either build your dreams or forsake them. This is true of all of life. I see no reason why "sexuality" should be excluded from that. The fault would not be in attempting to build one's dreams. The fault would be in how one went about that. Do so with some semblance of honor and integrity and compassion and the like and I'm pretty good with whatever your dream is. It helps if your feet have some connection with actual reality somewhere in the process.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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