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RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 8:14:05 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		Hairlover dude, we talked about this, 'k? Stop looking for the next quickest thing and get thee to a munch. If you meet someone there and want to play a bit online AFTER meeting in person, that might be an OK way to get acquainted before deciding to go hands-on.

I know you're anxious to get the ball rolling. But you're going to get your balls rolled over again if you don't use tried and true patience and common sense. STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER and get yourself out into the real world.

To answer your original question: online foolery with someone you haven't actually met face to face has nothing to do with reality, kinda like the appointment you made which you have now cancelled because IT wouldn't have had anything to do with Ds in the real world.

Dude, when you feel compelled to do something silly go rub one out before you do it. And get your ass to the next munch, pronto.

(in reply to hairlover123)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 8:18:34 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		To the above, I'll only offer one thing.

I know you said you would learn from your mistakes. I'll give you an alternative. Learn from the mistakes of others. There's hundreds of years experience on these boards and at one time or another, we've all fucked up royally. Don't make the same mistakes we did in the past if you have a way to prevent it.

Get to a munch and meet real people.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 8:47:27 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Haha darkart, sorryyyy I am going to go on Fetlife right now and look, i am just nervous too at the same time. Maybe i will take a xanax or two before i go haha...

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 9:58:36 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		A munch is just a group meal. You could always do the creepy stalkery thing of turning up, sitting at the next table pretending not to listen in, then leaving when you can't find the courage to speak to anyone :p it just generally works out better for everyone if you take a deep breath and introduce yourself lol

(in reply to hairlover123)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 10:38:28 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

A munch is just a group meal. You could always do the creepy stalkery thing of turning up, sitting at the next table pretending not to listen in, then leaving when you can't find the courage to speak to anyone :p it just generally works out better for everyone if you take a deep breath and introduce yourself lol

Or just go for Option J

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HST

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 11:06:58 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Haha...hmm that creepy stalker thing sounds like a possibility !

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 11:20:46 PM   
Alecta


Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline 		Listen to Kana. All us serious Dom/mes love him.

(in reply to hairlover123)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Online vs real time - 9/18/2012 11:43:38 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Hahah i just seen his comment about "option J" ..that should break the ice!

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Online vs real time - 9/19/2012 7:24:51 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		There used to be a tri cities munch group... the people that run it now are not the best in reputation... There are some great people in the Flint area, which is a bit of a drive, but that's how things are in Michigan. If you want to talk to some actual humans, write me on the other side.

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to hairlover123)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Online vs real time - 9/19/2012 7:50:13 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline 		I'm starting to think one could learn a lot by listening to Kana.

Online or cyber only, in my newbie opinion, is just awful. Why get into this with a person you can't even touch? I got stuck in a cyber situation not knowing it was going to be so, and can't bring myself to end it, but it is painful (and not in a good way). I'm following this thread though in case somebody tells of a good reason for cyber only that I don't know about.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Online vs real time - 9/19/2012 12:21:05 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Flint is only about an hour drive which is not too bad..Yea i have been told about a tri city much group too i have been looking on fetlife..

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Online vs real time - 9/19/2012 12:22:57 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I know some of the people... and I have friends in Saginaw but they're not in the public scene anymore.

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[page 23 girl]



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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Online vs real time - 9/19/2012 3:30:22 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline 		<JudgementalAndHarsh>

quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

I guess i just would like to try online to get a little experience before entering the R/T aspect of the lifestyle, which i plan on doing.

You'd like to try online? That's fine. Just don't confuse that with getting any experience - not even a little bit. We are not computers, we are not simulations, this isn't a fucking video game - it's about being in another person's space, it's about moving with them, it's about hearing the way their breathing changes and getting to look into their eyes.

I don't care what the resolution on your webcam is; you won't experience jack shit of that through a screen or down a telephone line.

quote:


I have been trying to connect mentally with some one the people have been talking to first, before just jumping right into things.

That's a good sentiment. Hang onto that. But the way you connect with someone before jumping right into things is to have a coffee with them, wander around a park or a museum or go to a sports game or - I don't know, whatever it is you do for fun. Don't pretend that that webcam or that phone line will connect you in any way that's meaningful.

</JudgementalAndHarsh>

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to hairlover123)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Online vs real time - 9/19/2012 5:25:03 PM   
hairlover123


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/1/2012
Status: offline 		Good advice vaguely, thank you.. I see what you are saying

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Online vs real time - 9/19/2012 11:05:34 PM   
loveseat


Posts: 28
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hairlover123

I guess it just realistically depends on the person you have the encounter with..


Yes, it does depend on the person you have the encounter with, and in any online encounter, the person that fills in all the blanks, IS YOU. All those senses that are missing, the things you can't see, or smell, or taste, your mind will fill it all in, anything from an elaborate scene to just the sense of anticipation and mystery.
This can be great fun, but it isn't real, nor should it be used as a replacement or substitute for anything real.


(in reply to hairlover123)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Online vs real time - 9/20/2012 2:01:56 AM   
kissakitty0325


Posts: 12
Joined: 9/8/2012
Status: offline 		Ya there seem to be quite a few people online who are only doing the online thing. NOT something I am interested in. If I want a Dom I am looking for real time play. The mental masterbation gets old. For me it is so much fullfillin when you are actually participating.
That all being said I grew up in the Chicago area but wasn't into BDSM as much last time I lived here. I have really got to make it to a local/city Munch in the next month or so. I miss having friends around who are into the same fun and games that I am....

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Obedient Women are Never Remembered in History -
That being said it does however mean more punishment in the long run.....

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Online vs real time - 9/21/2012 1:58:44 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		I'm just not going to suggest their might be a comparison to be made between online and realtime.

I mean, I will admit to the comparison that might be made between playing professional football and playing fantasy football. But that is as far as I'll go.

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to kissakitty0325)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Online vs real time - 9/21/2012 5:14:44 PM   
Mirbeau


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/5/2012
Status: offline 		online is a good way for a s sub to be introduced to the life style, whether its chatting with other subs/doms. it allows you to live out certain fantasies or test the waters but like all things, nothing replaces real life situation where you are kneeling before your dom/domme

(in reply to hairlover123)
Profile   Post #: 38
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