RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence

RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (Full Version)

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BurntKitty -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 10:55:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Many, many years ago there was a young femsub on another bondage site that was an extreme masochist. She got off on having her nails pulled out of her fingers and toes. I kid you not. Her Dom would also "rent" her out to extreme sadists. I remember reading a friend's blog where a sadist held her down and methodically yanked out each nail. Wonder if it's the same woman.

lilmissdefiant -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 11:47:12 AM)
I can't say I agree with the extreme sense of what she is asking for, however each to their own. Being a victim of Domestic Violence I am against being punched regardless of how hard and where, I get angry when someone gives me a dead arm or a dead leg, they only do it once...once. However I am not opposed to being slapped, but then again that is circumstantial, The only person in my entire life I am even remotely ok with getting slapped by is my Owner, nobody else has the right to put their hands on me (not to mention my Owner would go ballistic if anyone hurt me or when near me when they were told to stay away). But Back on topic, I don't think this is SSC or RACK approved. I'm hoping its fake and if its not...she deserves a Darwin award

Missokyst -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 11:52:25 AM)
Way back when I was a ball of pent up energy with no outlet other than dancing I took a job as a bouncer. It suited me because while I am normally calm, I do not like it when things, someone or something, messes with the space I am running. So unruly patrons, women in particular would spark that need in me to protect my space by what ever means necessary. The group that hired me, did so because they saw something in me that told them I would not back down. This was not a normal dance bar, there were definite criminal elements that I found out about shortly before I quit. But, it sort of effected the way I viewed myself. There were times I would deliberately walk into danger without fear of consequences. That job suited my mentality at the time. The few women I befriended during those years were also adrenalin directed. I knew cliff divers, roller derby girls, and one boxer (a rare thing at the time). That profile you read might reflect the viewpoint of a masochist who hasn't developed fear. Or, it might be some one who is setting up a senario for someone else. I have always been maso, but never one who deliberately sought out pain because I thought I needed it. It found me when I found myself spinning out of control, as what was perhaps a subconscious measure to reset myself.

mnottertail -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 11:53:36 AM)
So you would dance on their head? My little Patrick Swayze..............

OsideGirl -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 12:03:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Missokyst That profile you read might reflect the viewpoint of a masochist who hasn't developed fear. In the case of my friend, she witnessed her babysitter being murdered when she was 8. She maintained that nothing else in life was as scary as that, so everything else didn't seem as far out there to her. She did eventually grow out of the desire for the take down scenes.

cloudboy -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 2:04:00 PM)
This is a super-excellent response, and its directly on point. "I explained to this young woman that, if we want to play beyond what most people find comfortable, we must accept that some 'scene' people will not be able to accept us." This is true, and oftentimes when someone is outside or their comfort-zone they project negatives onto whoever makes makes them uncomfortable. In this case, though, there is the objective fact of serious, physical harm that is arguably unsupportable. As another poster noted, drug users and overeaters also put themselves at risk and are engaged in conduct that should be discouraged. SimplyMichael recently noted that a talented dominant knows how to make fantasies come true without necessarily bringing them to reality. Skillful dominance for him is an art. Would there be an artful way to be violent without having the reality of cracked ribs, dislocated shoulders, teeth knocked out, eardrums damaged, eyes blackened, etc? The question is, where do you draw the line for acceptable BDSM? For instance, if you said to this woman at your event, "You are sick and you need help," you may not actually be judging her as much as trying to help her. This would contrast with anti-gay marriage folks who are simply judging others for conduct un-detrimental to anyone involved. I would argue the line is drawn when pain crosses over into physical damage and serious injuries.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 4:05:07 PM)
I've been perusing the profiles of dominant men on the other side recently. There is a match for the woman the OP is talking about there. I hope he never finds her.

LadyPact -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 4:28:30 PM)
I wouldn't tell anybody where they have to draw their own lines any more than I want anyone telling Me where to draw Mine. I didn't answer this post at first because I wasn't sure it wasn't just an attempt to get people stirred up. Considering, OP, that you've been around these boards longer than I have, I don't understand why other people wanting more extreme BDSM adventures than you should surprise you. It's not possible for every person around here to read every post, but knowing the activities that I've posted about over the years, I'm trying to get what the difference is? Is it because it was in the person's profile, rather than the forums? When people like Kana and Myself type up our different, fun, sadistic stuff, who in the heck do you think we're doing those things with? What do you want to call things like brands or cuttings other than temporary or permanent marks? Kicking isn't all that taboo. How many people do you see cross these boards asking to be kicked in the balls? When I'm doing a take down scene, exactly what method do you think that I use to get somebody on the floor? Breath play, face slapping, and all of the other stuff. How many threads have you read from people who LOVE their bruises or wish they bruised more? Unless I'm mistaken, most, if not all of the kinks mentioned in the original are on the interest list here. I guess I don't understand the problem. Edited for an s that I left out that I must have wanted to use for SADISM.

littlewonder -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/19/2012 9:26:54 PM)
yup. I even gave a response on this tread saying I didn't understand the big deal. Some sadists and some masochist would absolutely love what this woman wrote and imo it's not that far off base as to what sadists would want to do to someone.If people really know Master they probably would be shocked although he doesn't do it for the shock value to others. So basically I have no problems with what was posted by the op. Believe me, there are enough sadists out there that would jump at the opportunity with this girl. Around 10 years ago, I would have been the girl who posted this. But as I got older my whole life took another change and I no longer consider myself a masochist or a pain pig.

crazyml -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 12:38:24 AM)
This has been a really fascinating thread. Firstly I'd agree with the posters that reckon the profile could very well be fake. As Kana pointed out, an experienced sadist would figure out whether the person is for real fairly promptly. I certainly don't doubt that he'd be able to make the call after three emails. Assuming this one is for real though... I have to admit first that my immediate gut reaction when I encounter people that are into this degree of extreme violence is "Fuck me! This person needs help, and lots of it" But.. but... Over the years I've encountered people in r/l and on boards like these that are really into extreme violence, both as recipients and givers and I've had to confront the fact that you really can be into extreme violence and be perfectly "sane" and healthy. Sure, it's not my cup of hippo, and sure some of the shit these kinksters get up to would be impossible for me to watch but yeah I'm 100% with the posters who believe that people should have the freedom to explore whatever they want with their bodies. But there's another but... I struggle with the "line". At what point is a lifestyle so dangerous, so likely to cause enduring harm to the person him/herself and or to their family or society at large, that it becomes simply wrong? Many of us here tend very strongly towards a libertarian stance, and I'd say I was a lot further towards the libertarian point of view than the general population. But we live in a society that does, generally, believe that there are cases where it can and should interfere. Seatbelt laws and the banning of narcotics are two examples. Fuck... Kinder Eggs (yummy chocolate eggs that contain a teensy plastic child's toy) are banned in the USA because they represent a choking hazard for infants. These laws aren't made for the people who really understand the consequences and make an informed choice, they're made for the (and let's face it it's a pretty big fucking proportion of the population) who don't stop and think about the consequences. So how do I tell whether this is something that is RACK (or SSC ... since I don't believe there is really a meaningful difference between the two acronyms) or abuse? If I were out in public and I saw some dude beating on his girlfriend then I would have to intervene. If I were in a dungeon and saw the same, I would assume that it was RACK (I would move on, because I can't watch something like that). In the context of boards like these, if someone like LadyP, Kana, Littlewonder or LadyHib talks about extreme violence I have a sense of where they're coming from (I know it's essentially limited to what I've read of them here but I do have a sense). In the context of Kana and Littlewonder - fuck I'd defend their right to consent to do all sorts of things, even the ones that make me shudder, but that's because I've seem ample evidence of the quality of their relationship. When a complete stranger rocks up, I just can't make the same assumption - So I err on the safe side... Because for me, making an ass of myself by asking someone who is perfectly sane and sorted if they need help is far less likely to result in harm than simply assuming that they're all tickety boo. Like Kalikashama, I do worry when people advertise an interest in extreme violence right up front, because let's face it there really are some very fucked up people (on both sides of S/M) on places like this. So... a question for Kana, LadyP, Hibbie, and Littlewonder (from your perspective, which is from the other side).. If you meet someone who advertises an interest in extreme violence, do you just assume they're sorted, or do you want to find out for yourself what motivates the desire?

kissakitty0325 -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 2:20:55 AM)
While I know and acknowledge that there are people who enjoy the extreme I'm just not one of them. That being said there is the old saying "Even a blind Hog can find a green apple somewhere". Just as there are people out there who need/want/require the extreme there are always those who are ready and waiting to give it to them. Personally from the Doms standpoint I would hope that he/she gets something in writing. While its not something that is ironclad, it might just bypass the idea that she is doing it for the money/claim of abuse.

LadyPact -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 3:59:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml So... a question for Kana, LadyP, Hibbie, and Littlewonder (from your perspective, which is from the other side).. If you meet someone who advertises an interest in extreme violence, do you just assume they're sorted, or do you want to find out for yourself what motivates the desire? To be fair, if you are meaning from the online standpoint, I'm probably the last person to ask. I don't pay much attention to profiles, especially when it comes to play partners. If you are talking physical world, (the one where it would be an issue because now we're face to face) it may or may not depend on how much I know about them. Would I be asking about background, talk with former play partners or folks that have seen the type of play that they like to do, and ask if there have been prior problems? Oh yes! I'm going to get the info on types of play they have done, what considerations we have, and so on. I'm probably not going to start by playing on the extreme end of the scale off of the bat. As for being sorted, are you asking if I'm looking to find out if they are nuts? Not any more or less than anybody else that I might play with. I like smacking people around and I don't consider Myself off of the deep end. Why should I think it any different than any other masochist who wants to get smacked? I don't really consider Myself an extreme violence person. I just see Myself as a sadist. Pretty much like anybody else who chooses that description. We're all on the scale somewhere. No matter where that is, there is somebody lighter than we are and somebody harsher than we are. How does anybody know that where they are on the scale isn't being determined "too harsh" by those who are lighter than them?

cloudboy -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 6:53:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 I've been perusing the profiles of dominant men on the other side recently. There is a match for the woman the OP is talking about there. I hope he never finds her. Crazyml made a good point about there being a libertarian leaning on CMMB and then citing seatbelt laws. When BDSM crosses the line -- it becomes crazy and demented: putting sub's life and heath at risk while exposing the DOM to criminal charges and/or responsibility for inflicting permanent injuries. The roles of TOP and Bottom / or DOM - Sub can morph here into abuser and victim.

Kana -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 8:12:27 AM)
quote: So... a question for Kana, LadyP, Hibbie, and Littlewonder (from your perspective, which is from the other side).. If you meet someone who advertises an interest in extreme violence, do you just assume they're sorted, or do you want to find out for yourself what motivates the desire? I treat them exactly the same way I treat anyone else. I get to know em. I find out what makes em tick. I learn who and what they are, not so much as slave/subs/masos, but people. (And, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm really really good at reading people and getting in their heads. I should have been an inquisitor or something. I totally missed my calling.) Sure, I look for crazy, but I do that on nilla dates too. And if she's showing to many red flags I walk, again, the same as I would do with anyone else. As for experience, I'll ask. But it's more something I'm gonna hafta find out for myself than take her word for it. This is especially true of extreme shit. I'm gonna start slow, watch how she reacts, watch how she grooves to it, then respond accordingly. I've found over time that folk, they have lots and lots of different ideas about what is hard play. I've had gals tell me they were hard edge players, but it turned out that meant they get spanked with their pants off and panties dropped. I've also met gals who severely undersold how hard they've played and what they like (They've met so many negative reactions that they are kinda gun-shy about advertising their tastes. Hell, there are women here now who've confided shit to me re how hard they really play and won't mention it online for fear of being judged). So just because she says something, I'm not gonna take her word and run with it. I'm gonna do the research on her and discover where her lines are...and then hang ten off of em. As for why people are they way they are-that's a nice intellectual question, tells ya something about where they come from. But as far as play, generally I care a whole lot less about why they are than what they are and how that will play into what we are doing. Hope that helps.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 8:37:24 AM)
I would probably ignore a profile like that, at least these days. I'm a jaded old harridan. Someone I met in person, another story! I never assume anyone is "sorted", no matter what their proclivities. That's something that you find out by getting to know someone. As to why anyone likes what they like...I am interested, because I am interested in people. The only time I really care is if they are trying to recreate some issue in lieu of therapy. Otherwise, as long as we're all having fun, it's good. Funny thing... no one ever asks me why I like some of the more extreme things.

Sien -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 8:45:19 AM)
On a related but unrelated note, have any of you done this yet? I'm posting it because in it there is a list of things where it asks 'What do you think a person should NOT be allowed to consent to.' "Death" and "Serious bodily harm (broken bones, cranial damage)" are on the list as well as a few others. https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/NCSF_Consent_Counts_Questoins Typo aside, it's a legitimate questionare that's trying to ascertain what people should and shouldn't be allowed to consent to by law. The original intent was to provide a way for people who have been abused in scenes where their limits have been ignored to be able to use the legal system without the fear of the old 'You asked for it' problem and other stigma. It's aimed at protecting people who want to give and receive in a BDSM setting and is the first outreach I've heard of in the legal world for BDSM 'rights'. Considering that a lot of play can be seen as assault I found this interesting. Whether you agree with it or not, it's happening and filling out the questionare not only helps the end statistics but shows support toward finding protection for us all.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 9:06:21 AM)
Consent is a very big deal to me. It HAS to be, considering some of what I get up to. I am not one of those "always eliciting submission" gals, either. You say yes to me ONCE, until you say NO. I always listen when you say no. It's not a ego thing to me, I don't feel less domly if you need to call a halt to things, and I won't hold a grudge over it. What WILL piss me off is if you suck it up and whine later that you WISH you'd said something. In these modern times, I am very careful what I do, and with whom. I have a personal list of limits that I won't cross--among them breaking bones and the like--and I am not going full on with someone I just met. There's no legal consent to battery here in Michigan (and according to USA law, "assault" is the perception of threat, like if I pulled a knife on you, or stuck my fist in your face, "battery" is the actual physical contact).

crazyml -> RE: Profile Analyis -- Needing Violence (9/20/2012 3:55:36 PM)
LadyPact, Kana, LadyHibiscus - Thanks!

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