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Groups? Events? - 6/12/2006 9:25:55 PM

CrescentLuna

Posts: 89
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Upstate NY
Status: offline

How many people here go to local groups or larger events? It is something I'm kind of curious about. I feel like this is an aspect of my life I'd like to explore more and with more face-to-face people, instead of anonymously online. However, I'm not 100% on this for a few reasons:
1. not sure if certain members of a group that had stalked me in the past are still active - they were when they were trying to pull strings to have me attend underage, two years ago.
2. Playing with others - it is supposed to be very low-pressure, nobody has to play if they don't want to, etc. but I am worried about not knowing anyone and such and coming across as a just a gawker.
3. Age - I know I'm being ageist and stuff, but I just don't like being the only person under 40 at events. I feel I either get a very lecherous vibe or condescending.

I don't know, if anyone has some insight as to if these have been issues for them, what they've done about it, and all I'd like to hear it.

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RE: Groups? Events? - 6/12/2006 11:02:20 PM

ArchangelMichael

Posts: 243
Joined: 8/21/2004
From: New Orleans, LA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrescentLuna

How many people here go to local groups or larger events? It is something I'm kind of curious about. I feel like this is an aspect of my life I'd like to explore more and with more face-to-face people, instead of anonymously online. However, I'm not 100% on this for a few reasons:
1. not sure if certain members of a group that had stalked me in the past are still active - they were when they were trying to pull strings to have me attend underage, two years ago.
2. Playing with others - it is supposed to be very low-pressure, nobody has to play if they don't want to, etc. but I am worried about not knowing anyone and such and coming across as a just a gawker.
3. Age - I know I'm being ageist and stuff, but I just don't like being the only person under 40 at events. I feel I either get a very lecherous vibe or condescending.

I don't know, if anyone has some insight as to if these have been issues for them, what they've done about it, and all I'd like to hear it.

My suggestion is to get to know the board members of any group you join. Some people will pressure you to play, but you are never expected to by the majority of people.

If you're close enough to New York City, there's TES. And TES has a TNG group called TESTiNG. TNG stands for The Next Generation. It's focus is on younger members of the communty from ages 18 - 35. TNG is a general term for any group anywhere that caters to the younger crowd. So I suggest trying to find a TNG group if you're worried that everyone will be 40+.

Good luck!

_____________________________

"Open up your mind; Let your fantasies unwind." -The Phantom, Phantom of the Opera

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." -Toulouse-Lautrec, Moulin Rouge

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RE: Groups? Events? - 6/13/2006 5:53:22 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrescentLuna
How many people here go to local groups or larger events?

Yup, constantly.

quote:

1. not sure if certain members of a group that had stalked me in the past are still active - they were when they were trying to pull strings to have me attend underage, two years ago.

The good news is, that by going public and making solid stable friends, that won't be as much of an issue. Anyway, 2 years in scene time is like 10 years normal time.

quote:

2. Playing with others - it is supposed to be very low-pressure, nobody has to play if they don't want to, etc. but I am worried about not knowing anyone and such and coming across as a just a gawker.

If you're worried about being a gawker, then you don't have to worry about it.

Secondly, there still may be pressure- not everyone at all events are polite and sweet and non pressuring. Just like not everyone at dance clubs is sober and won't try and drag you onto the floor. But it usually isn't a big deal to deal with and you're right that no one HAS to play at all. However, if you're new, expect some seduction tried on you.

Finally, people play in public often to be SEEN playing in public, they get off on the energy. So enjoy it if you want.

quote:

3. Age - I know I'm being ageist and stuff, but I just don't like being the only person under 40 at events. I feel I either get a very lecherous vibe or condescending.

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RE: Groups? Events? - 6/13/2006 6:42:57 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Ditto to all LA said.

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RE: Groups? Events? - 6/13/2006 7:52:32 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Can we double ditto?

Meets are really no different to a night out at a club. There are the pushy, the lecherous, the pleasent and over keen, the 'oh we have done all this before'. Be prepared and (try to) be strong - try and contact the organiser before hand (if its a smaller event) and introduce yourself and let them know you are coming and new - they will keep an eye on you and I always find that they will talk and make you feel really welcome.

Peace and Rapture

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.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: Groups? Events? - 6/13/2006 7:13:20 PM

EvilGeoff

Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrescentLuna

How many people here go to local groups or larger events?

I do. *chuckles* I started a group. I've presented at others

quote:

1. not sure if certain members of a group that had stalked me in the past are still active

Only way to find out is check with the leadership of the group.

quote:

2. Playing with others - it is supposed to be very low-pressure, nobody has to play if they don't want to, etc. but I am worried about not knowing anyone and such and coming across as a just a gawker.

Please, gawk. Without an audience, why would we exhibitionists bother playing in public?

quote:

3. Age - I know I'm being ageist and stuff, but I just don't like being the only person under 40 at events. I feel I either get a very lecherous vibe or condescending.

Lech, lech, lech, lech, lech lech, lech... Oh, sorry! It's just that I love leching, uh I mean looking, yeah! Looking! at attractive young women. And don't tell me 20-something guys don't lech. They do. But many groups have TNG SIGs (Special Interest Groups) for their younger members. Again, check with the group leaders.

Hope that helps!
- Geoff

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RE: Groups? Events? - 6/14/2006 6:53:44 PM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
Status: offline

Groups are an excellent way to meet like minded others, Munches will allow you to assess the Group and talk to those in charge.

Everyone of us has felt this way at the beginning. Hang in there and trust YOUR Common Sense.

I enjoy going to as many varied events and Groups as I can and meeting people I may never scene with but just knowing they are here is encouraging.

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Kink Forever
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