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FemaleMaster -> One Master's experience (6/23/2006 5:34:42 PM)
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I will share a little about my own path. I have been attracted to leather (that's my preferred phrase for "BDSM") for over ten years. I have had the opportunity to engage other women in aspects of D/s and SM in those years, but for the most part, I was alone in my interests. I felt frustrated with the limitations of my encounters. There was only so much I could learn about myself as a burgeoning Master while involved with women who had never even thought of themselves as submissive or kinky prior to engaging with me. I also did not know how to enter the established leather/kink communities, knowing nothing and feeling like a raw outsider.
Still, even as I wavered on the outskirts of the leather scene, I I learned as much as I could about my own psychology, as well as the minds and emotions of the women I took in hand. I studied energy work and developed my own spiritual practices. I took time to read books on leather and M/s, whatever I could get my hands on, from all sorts of perspectives. These are the sorts of personal development practices that I continue today, and I expect the same commitment to her own self-understanding from any submissive woman that I might take on.
As a leatherdyke, I have a strong affinity for my gay leather brothers. I wanted more than anything to have a Mentor/mentee relationship like so many gay leathermen seemed to have. I never found a Mentor. I did, however, find the Master's Retreat, lead by Dean Walradt, in 2001. This retreat for Masters/Mistresses and Dominants was my first-ever leather event. I formed relationships in that retreat that remain today. I learned more about myself as a novice Master, and I had the opportunity to learn from other, more experienced Masters as they spoke about their experiences and challenges. The retreat was a safe space to check egos at the door and to discuss the complexities of Mastery and Ownership with an openness that I have rarely seen since. I returned from the retreat forever changed, and grateful for the opportunity.
A few years later, I became the first woman to attend Master Taino's Master Training Academy. Yes, that's right, training for Masters, provided by a staff of both Masters and slaves. We were together for four days of introductory hands-on skills training and discussions on protocols, control, communication, understanding slave psychology, and how to structure successful M/s relationships. We weren't given a how-to manual. We weren't given an add-water-and-stir formula for M/s. Instead, I gained much more insight on what inspires my passion for discipline and service, what qualities I seek in a slave, what qualities I seek to improve in myself as a Master, and the importance of developing protocols that serve my specific interests as a Master and that give guidance to my property.
I continue to attend workshops and conferences like Together in Leather and the Master/slave Conference, where I have the opportunity to further develop my skills and to engage others who are dedicated to M/s as their way of life. I think that my apprentice approach to Mastery has served me well, and that I am a better Master for my efforts.
This is only my story; I hope it serves as one example of how a Master may seek training without forsaking individuality, dignity, or credibility, and in doing so improve the quality of her character in addition to her skills.
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