RE: How far would you be willing to go...

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Focus50 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/13/2012 2:34:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Duskypearls quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: Duskypearls Personally, I would much rather my future Dom be more interested in changing and improving me on my insides, making me better than I already am. To me, THAT is exciting and something to look forward to. A bit "cart before the horse", no? I mean, don't most relationships begin with a spot of personal/mutual attraction? Obviously the Internet can be an exception - and I'm done with starting there.... Focus. Perhaps, and that being the case, I should better have explained myself. I do not mean to minimize the value, nor exclude the possibility, of gladly altering my outer shell to be more pleasing to another's eye or pride. To me, though, its takes second place, as it speaks only to the corporeal and the temporary. It is the inner work of growth, understanding, learning, loving and healing I desire most, and that is the currency that holds greater value for me. I see this as more about already being in a relationship, ie, with someone you really wanna be with. Even in D/s, this works both ways, IMO. A Forum question that occasionally recycles is "Who disciplines the Dom?". Much mighty Dominant that I undoubtedly am, my answer is that my girl does - albeit indirectly through my own pride and principles of leading by example. When I'm on my own, there is no "Dom" here because that aspect of my being is as irrelevant as being hetero. And being the outdoorsy type, I couldn't care less that the house probably should be cleaned occasionally or at least vacuumed more than once a year. But, you know....., I've got better things to do blah blah. IE, when most newbie subs imagine a Dominant to be some discipline driven drill instructor, I'm pretty much a stereo-typical male slob whose home decor ranks as "contemporary crime scene". Inject (the right) "sweet n shy lil fem/sub" to that environment, and everything changes! I'd never approve of her home being a "crime scene" (though I'd make allowances for it being a home, not a shop window display) which means I have to set an example - because ol' mate in the mirror insists. Ergo, by default, she makes me a better person for it - we do for each other. But all this is at least part way into a relationship. First, you've both gotta like what you initially see. And I really don't know how to get around that short fem hair bizzo (laffs), esp when too many middle-aged women connect hair to approving of them per se'....! (laffing ends, head begins shaking) Focus.

MsGypsey -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/13/2012 3:01:57 PM)
I've made suggestions, such as asking them to shave. I don't like facial hair. I've also asked a sub to stop smoking and start working out. Beyond that, I can't think of anything that I would have thought to be unreasonable demands.

Duskypearls -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/13/2012 3:47:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: Duskypearls quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 quote: ORIGINAL: Duskypearls Personally, I would much rather my future Dom be more interested in changing and improving me on my insides, making me better than I already am. To me, THAT is exciting and something to look forward to. A bit "cart before the horse", no? I mean, don't most relationships begin with a spot of personal/mutual attraction? Obviously the Internet can be an exception - and I'm done with starting there.... Focus. Perhaps, and that being the case, I should better have explained myself. I do not mean to minimize the value, nor exclude the possibility, of gladly altering my outer shell to be more pleasing to another's eye or pride. To me, though, its takes second place, as it speaks only to the corporeal and the temporary. It is the inner work of growth, understanding, learning, loving and healing I desire most, and that is the currency that holds greater value for me. I see this as more about already being in a relationship, ie, with someone you really wanna be with. Even in D/s, this works both ways, IMO. A Forum question that occasionally recycles is "Who disciplines the Dom?". Much mighty Dominant that I undoubtedly am, my answer is that my girl does - albeit indirectly through my own pride and principles of leading by example. When I'm on my own, there is no "Dom" here because that aspect of my being is as irrelevant as being hetero. And being the outdoorsy type, I couldn't care less that the house probably should be cleaned occasionally or at least vacuumed more than once a year. But, you know....., I've got better things to do blah blah. IE, when most newbie subs imagine a Dominant to be some discipline driven drill instructor, I'm pretty much a stereo-typical male slob whose home decor ranks as "contemporary crime scene". Inject (the right) "sweet n shy lil fem/sub" to that environment, and everything changes! I'd never approve of her home being a "crime scene" (though I'd make allowances for it being a home, not a shop window display) which means I have to set an example - because ol' mate in the mirror insists. Ergo, by default, she makes me a better person for it - we do for each other. But all this is at least part way into a relationship. First, you've both gotta like what you initially see. And I really don't know how to get around that short fem hair bizzo (laffs), esp when too many middle-aged women connect hair to approving of them per se'....! (laffing ends, head begins shaking) Focus. I see where you're going with this, Focus, and for the most part, cannot disagree. Obviously, we are all different, with varying different degrees of what it is we find attractive in others. My eye is not at all blind to male beauty, from the minimally to the breathtakingly attractive fellow. I only make the distinction that for myself, physical attractiveness is not the criteria with which I lead when meeting, connecting with, or opening my heart and self to strangers, friends, prospective male partners/mates, etc. Perhaps I am more different than some folks than I realize. It is the goodness of one's mind and heart that attracts, opens me up, lures me in and keeps me there. I have found when a fellow is able to do this for me, even if he is physically unattractive, by most peoples standards, he is beautiful to me. I must sound like an oddball, may very well be one, and you're more than welcome to consider/call me one, but that is what works for me.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/14/2012 9:30:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Is it not reasonable to also interpret this statement as meaning you find it childish or humourous of anyone to have a differing opinion to you? Not that I think you do, btw, but still.... Focus. Focus, we both know you find my posts childish and immature whether they agree with your thinking or not, based only on the fact that I am a switch. We've had that conversation. Despite this, I have to agree that I too am gobsmacked that someone could think preferring to see a female in long hair, or pink nails, or understated make up means you don't like how she looks. (BTW, you can substitute these choices for whatever choices the dominant does prefer. My ex liked lighter hair color, flashier hair style and make up and that's what I wore). I'm not in the least gobsmacked (great word so I keep using it) that fem subs could think someone who needs to surgically alter them maybe doesn't like them as they are. The tattoos and piercings I won't continue to comment on, since I hate them and my bias really should leave me out of the discussion. quote: Beyond that, the rest of your post pretty much makes you my ideal "perfect" sub . Okay, that made me laugh. Although I don't think you and I are that different in terms of how we see D/s, we're both of an age to be fairly old school. I do like to think I'm far less rigid in how I apply what I've learned over the years, but now that's my bias.

EveyHammond -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/14/2012 11:14:45 AM)
I think that your Dominant partner/Owner/Master should have your health at the forefront of His mind when asking for any adjustments to your body. I also think that it would depend on the length of the relationship - as I would be much more likely to trust a Master I was collared to for many years, and let Him decide whether I should be branded say, or have my tattoos removed, than a Dom I had only known a matter of months. I think common sense should prevail in the end. If a Dominant wants a diabetic female to gain 50lbs, that's a health issue, and losing weight for someone with types of thyroid complaint is near impossible. No reasonable Master would ask for such, IMHO.

ivone1 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/14/2012 3:32:34 PM)
well as you know my Master shaved my head because he wanted to .... cest la vie.. its only hair... as i recall pam my Master shaved your head also because you wanted it done...

Focus50 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/14/2012 10:09:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Is it not reasonable to also interpret this statement as meaning you find it childish or humourous of anyone to have a differing opinion to you? Not that I think you do, btw, but still.... Focus. Focus, we both know you find my posts childish and immature whether they agree with your thinking or not, based only on the fact that I am a switch. We've had that conversation. No, no, no! Not true; not fair; blah blah & wah wah WAH! We've had our differences but let me say that probably the absolute worstest (ie frustrating, exasperating etc) D/s relationship I was ever in was with the most passive of passive fem/subs. Ok, she was a lovely person but the girl just wasn't capable of expressing a mind of her own when I wanted a fem opinion on something, or even just another adult's opinion. I wouldn't want a nagging firebrand, either, but that's another story. You seem suitably betwixt the two, IMO, with the general forthrightness with which you express yourself. At me, anyways.... ;) And the pic perfectly matches that (perceived) posting demeanour. lol Got your hands on hips, too? ;) As for this "switch" bizzo, well me not being shy about expressing my prejudices n generalisations n all on these Boards, I've posted numerous times that every switch I've known (and I emphasise I'VE KNOWN) would, given a choice, much prefer a relationship with a Dom/me than another switch or a sub. And me being a Dom of the most awesomeness, well, surely you can see I have no probs with switches in the least. Females only need apply, but.... Curious (but interesting in that it likely validates my prejudices) but you post like you're in a relationship with a Dom, yourself. And have been before...? quote: The tattoos and piercings I won't continue to comment on, since I hate them and my bias really should leave me out of the discussion. Another pet hate of mine, too. I hear an oldie's song: "You're just too good to be true...." Gimme a yell when ya leave da bum and move here.... [8D] Focus.

gungadin09 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/14/2012 10:33:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ivone1 as i recall pam my Master shaved your head also because you wanted it done... I didn't say no, because Joe was so keen on it, but I would have preferred hair. I had been growing it out. Now that it's short I like it and keep it that way, besides, it would take such a long time to grow it out again. Pam

whipher1 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/17/2012 10:22:37 AM)
I think both of you look great with short hair ,as for pam she knew it was coming. as for Deb she was not asks she was told and at anytime i will shave there heads again if i feel it needs to be done !!

porcelaine -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/19/2012 1:17:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gungadin09 Would it matter very much if the person's ideal body image were quite different from your own? Greetings Pam, I believe it's my responsibility to make a valiant attempt to be visually appealing to the one I'm with. I don't buy into the feminist rhetoric or other shenanigans that negate the realities of the male disposition and mindset which I don't find inherently wrong. If accoutrements are necessary and he's able to provide them so be it. I think there should be some measure of balance provided with the realization that age and time will yield changes but that doesn't give me the license to let myself go. Of course this may go against the prevailing mindset of a society hellbent on male emasculation and the devaluing of the differences between the sexes that are normal and ideal. The chorus from the sisterhood may ring different but that isn't the one you snuggle up with at night. Pleasing him pleases me. ~porcelaine

Duskypearls -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/19/2012 11:44:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine quote: ORIGINAL: gungadin09 Would it matter very much if the person's ideal body image were quite different from your own? Greetings Pam, I believe it's my responsibility to make a valiant attempt to be visually appealing to the one I'm with. I don't buy into the feminist rhetoric or other shenanigans that negate the realities of the male disposition and mindset which I don't find inherently wrong. If accoutrements are necessary and he's able to provide them so be it. I think there should be some measure of balance provided with the realization that age and time will yield changes but that doesn't give me the license to let myself go. Of course this may go against the prevailing mindset of a society hellbent on male emasculation and the devaluing of the differences between the sexes that are normal and ideal. The chorus from the sisterhood may ring different but that isn't the one you snuggle up with at night. Pleasing him pleases me. ~porcelaine By Gawd, Porcelaine, but you have a great head upon your shoulders, and a beautiful, articulate manner with which you express yourself. What a pleasure it is to read your posts!

Kana -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/20/2012 7:11:01 AM)
I had the lilone utterly convinced I was gonna nail her tongue to the table last night. Even had her go get the hammer and heavy gauge needles to pound through it. She was shaking and unsteady and rocking back and forth in the "fight or flight" mode she falls into. But she did it-went and got the tools that she thought I was gonna torment her with. God, it was awesome. I was so proud of her, so humbled to own such a wonderful woman. So instead I carved my name on her tit (Which was what I had intended the whole time-the nailed tongue thing was only a mindfuck...for now). Have I ever mentioned how terrific it is to own the best slave in the Milky Way? If not, it's true. She is. And I'm a lucky lucky guy

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/20/2012 3:41:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana I had the lilone utterly convinced I was gonna nail her tongue to the table last night. Even had her go get the hammer and heavy gauge needles to pound through it. She was shaking and unsteady and rocking back and forth in the "fight or flight" mode she falls into. But she did it-went and got the tools that she thought I was gonna torment her with. God, it was awesome. I was so proud of her, so humbled to own such a wonderful woman. So instead I carved my name on her tit (Which was what I had intended the whole time-the nailed tongue thing was only a mindfuck...for now). Have I ever mentioned how terrific it is to own the best slave in the Milky Way? If not, it's true. She is. And I'm a lucky lucky guy I read the above and couldn't figure out why you would nail her tongue to the table. Then I remembered this: [image]local://upfiles/1460782/6F6446BA1C8B4C119915CB850295F850.gif[/image]

CuriousFerret -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/20/2012 4:23:00 PM)
If it were something malicious, that would be a hard limit. That's not going to happen, though, unless he were to get some really weird brain disease. However, if he were to do something like set me up with an appointment to start me on a path to gender reassignment, that would be acceptable. If he were to take me into a tattoo parlor, I would sit still while the artist went to work. If he wanted piercings, he would get piercings. If he wanted me to lose weight, I would start dieting. If he wanted me to gain weight, I would complain about health concerns. Believe me, I would bitch. I would argue. However, I would consider his authority to be a major trump card. Putting health concerns aside, I would become a fatty if that's what he desired out of me. As long as I know he loves and cares for me, it's his body, not mine. He is the end consumer, not me. And part of why I know he cares for me is that I've said repeatedly that I ought to shed a few pounds, and he keeps telling me, "honey, you are fine just the way you are." The very idea that I'd want to change myself, particularly for his sake, upsets him deeply. Therefore, I don't think I will have to worry about anything like that anytime soon.

littlewonder -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/20/2012 6:34:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 quote: ORIGINAL: Kana I had the lilone utterly convinced I was gonna nail her tongue to the table last night. Even had her go get the hammer and heavy gauge needles to pound through it. She was shaking and unsteady and rocking back and forth in the "fight or flight" mode she falls into. But she did it-went and got the tools that she thought I was gonna torment her with. God, it was awesome. I was so proud of her, so humbled to own such a wonderful woman. So instead I carved my name on her tit (Which was what I had intended the whole time-the nailed tongue thing was only a mindfuck...for now). Have I ever mentioned how terrific it is to own the best slave in the Milky Way? If not, it's true. She is. And I'm a lucky lucky guy I read the above and couldn't figure out why you would nail her tongue to the table. Then I remembered this: [image]local://upfiles/1460782/6F6446BA1C8B4C119915CB850295F850.gif[/image] hahahahaha....I'm laughing hysterically. That is soooooo him!!! OMG, I have tears coming out of my eyes laughing so hard. [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/20/2012 7:02:13 PM)
Yep, somehow I just knew that cartoon was the perfect fit! And it always makes me hysterical too.

ivone1 -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/29/2012 3:26:39 PM)
well i was going to let my hair grow out but nope Master cut it again today... its very short again... but that is what makes him happy ....so be it ...;o))

Kana -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/29/2012 5:36:35 PM)
It's his hair. He can do with it as he wishes :-)

absolutchocolat -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/29/2012 5:43:57 PM)
i'm not into body modification for the sake of pleasing a dom/me. there are plenty of other things i can do to please him or her without altering my appearance.

FrostedFlake -> RE: How far would you be willing to go... (10/31/2012 9:31:46 PM)
[image]http://www.collarme.com/photos/876477p05.jpg[/image]

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