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AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Pledge? (9/27/2012 10:37:42 AM)
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I think giving you an assignment with a deadline is still giving you orders, even if he follows it up with 'but not as your dom, because we're not there yet'. Have you ever had homework from someone you went on a date with? Also, remember, he's not just considering you, you're considering him. I say that only to remind you that you're not a toaster which may or may not be up to scratch, you're a human being with your own needs and preferences. Sometimes when meeting online, dominant men may make a big fuss about how they are considering you and encourage you to compete for their affection. In reality there are more kinky men searching online than women - you are in the position to take your pick. Whatever happens remember this is still a relationship and an entirely equal one right up until the point you agree to submit. If you're doing all the work to prove your worthiness to him, take a big step back and ask yourself how this would look without the dom/sub labels - you probably wouldn't be happy to have to jump through hoops to impress a vanilla date, you'd just get to know each other.
Now please ignore all of the above if you already know all this. I only say it because I know you're new to this site and people will try to take the piss.
If you want to do this essay for your own sake, then that's fine of course. If he's given you no real guidelines then I'd just put whatever you feel and think. To me, a pledge is a promise, and if you're relatively new to D/s you might not know what promises you can make.
I don't think anyone can give you a framework because this is by no means a standard thing we all do. Only he knows what he is expecting. Most of the questions round here can be answered with 'it depends on the relationship'. I know that's frustrating, but it is true. I don't have anything like this in my relationship. If he asked me to write about my commitment to my submission, I might say something about how I commit to keep on trying even when there are set backs. I might promise not to second guess his decisions, to try not to be too down on myself when I make a mistake, and to submit even when that means doing nothing. I might say that submission is not rolling my eyes when he watches rubbish TV shows and serving him velveeta mac and cheese with a smile on my face even though I could make fresh mac and cheese which is infinitely superior. But that's because those are things that have come up in our relationship - they would mean something to him, but probably not to you and your dom.
I hope this counts as 'being nice'.
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