RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (Full Version)

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MistressSassy66 -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/14/2006 11:37:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

When i first got into this life style sex was taboo in it now  it seems it is a major part of it,  what has changed , Should it even be part of it . I don't think so Thats just my opinion for what its worth .




For some its a big part for others its not and for others its an in between thing.

I believe that whatever situation makes you and your other feel the most comfortable,is the one you should stay in.



Lordandmaster -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 12:54:00 AM)

TABOO?  People didn't have sex back then?

What are you talking about?

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

When i first got into this life style sex was taboo in it



JohnWarren -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 5:18:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

When i first got into this life style sex was taboo in it

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

TABOO?  People didn't have sex back then?

What are you talking about?


[nod] One of my first memories of the public scene is a guy bent over a bar stool while a couple of masters took turns ass fucking him.  Didn't seem like they thought it was taboo.



Mariposa -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 6:24:11 AM)

This thread is all very funny to me IF only because there was a similar argument on the TES listserve. The terms of the argument, however, were reversed. On that particular listserve someone was putting forth that the younger generation had taken the sex out of S/M specifically.

-Mari



LadyRope -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 9:02:45 AM)

well chains314,not to sure where you were living,but pre personal computer age,NYC Hell Fire,lots of bodily fluids being exchanged,as far as I can remember....sex was a major part of SM,however,to each their own.



YoungBlondeSlave -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 9:14:41 AM)

I have never heard of a D/s relationship without sex. I am, admittedly, a nympho and if I had a relationship with my owner where there was no sex, I would be a very sad little pet. I honestly don't know how others can do it, I know I wouldn't be able to. But, more power to you who are able to.



chains314 -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 9:18:03 AM)

To each his own what some did others did not  that pic you refour to was drowm bye bishoup so tack it for what it was worth



thetammyjo -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 9:26:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mariposa

This thread is all very funny to me IF only because there was a similar argument on the TES listserve. The terms of the argument, however, were reversed. On that particular listserve someone was putting forth that the younger generation had taken the sex out of S/M specifically.

-Mari


One of my friends who is a gay leather man observed out loud to me that he finds sex to be much less discussed as part of the SM in het relationships than in lesbian or gay ones. Yes, he does travel to a lot of different SM events, pansexual, het, lesbian and gay.

Of course he sees that in me too when he compares us.

Cock sucking is one of the top three things he looks for in a slave; for me, sex is way down there on the list.

That said I do think that for me sex would need to be part of a long-term Ds relationship. But I can't know if something is long-term until some time has passed and we've gotten to know each other and tried things out for months and months.

As I said in my earlier reply, I find the risks innately involved in various sexual activities to be too risky to just have sex with everyone I scene with or train.



JohnWarren -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/15/2006 9:35:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

To each his own what some did others did not  that pic you refour to was drowm bye bishoup so tack it for what it was worth


What I wrote was

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

[nod] One of my first memories of the public scene is a guy bent over a bar stool while a couple of masters took turns ass fucking him.  Didn't seem like they thought it was taboo.


It was not a "picture."  It was an incident at a leather bar in Providence, RI, to which I had been brought by my first play partners back in 1965 or so.

You see some of us have been doing this in the face to face world for a while.



cloudboy -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/16/2006 11:24:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

When i first got into this life style sex was taboo in it now it seems it is a major part of it, what has changed , Should it even be part of it . I don't think so Thats just my opinion for what its worth .


The fall of Western Civilization is NEXT.

The good news is, with the decline in wages and a new rise in inflation, the pool of slaves in the US only promises to widen. Humiliation, degradation, suffering, goveling, and begging all promise to increase while banks sadistically foreclose on homes, jails fill with more miscreants, and we otherwise demonize gays, foreigners, and the steep decline of our own moral and cultural values.



ShivaTS -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/16/2006 11:55:32 AM)

My Master and I dont have any intentions of including intercourse in the BDSM lifestyle.  He occassionally has me give him oral, for a humiliation thing, but thats pretty much the most of it.  I know many people that attend a much I go to that are very sexual in how they play.  To each their own, as long as I dont have to be there.



MichMasochist -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/16/2006 2:54:42 PM)

One of my favorite subjects. We are the new kids on the block. The sexual revolution has come and gone. Times have changed we today are more accepting and less ridget.

Is it youth, vitality or despiration as father time marches. Shooting bullets at your feet making you dance an old jig to a new tune. In time your enthusiasm will fade soon enough. As us young kids cut in on your action. We will turn all your possesions into artifacts; your ideas of what things should be to the fancy of a bygone era. We shall store your pictures and trophies in some dusty attic corner, never again to see the light of day. Just as the next generation will do the same to us.

We don't have the same hang-ups on sex or sexuality as my parents did. It's no longer a shame to have sex with your girlfriend, and there is nothing wrong with admitting to do so. You may even have a friend who is gay now-a-days, that is certainly OK. Unlike my parents, Quoting my dad, "A real man never goes down on a woman, but it's ok if she give you head." Well dad I absolutely love to eat pussy and there is nothing wrong with that. If that makes me less of a man in your eyes well I still love you dad. So Mr chains314 if the woman who is dominating me decides the type of service she wants of me is to "go down on her" where ever and when ever she has even the slightest of whim; as her property and slave it's not my place to disobey her. Yes that includes dick if she wants.

BDSM is as diverse as are the people who participate in it. No one way is right or wrong.

Mich

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

When i first got into this life style sex was taboo in it now  it seems it is a major part of it,  what has changed , Should it even be part of it . I don't think so Thats just my opinion for what its worth .




johnnywacks -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/16/2006 4:57:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

Bdsm and D/s should have anythingi n the world the two participants want to have providing it is not harming someone unconsentually or illegal or if it is illegal let it be something that the law is stupid about like anal sex.

Yes there's a law against anal sex in some states.


Actually, most sodomy laws were overturned by the supreme court in 2003. (In a 6-3 ruling!).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_v._Texas

Yay progress!

The laws may still be on the "books" in many states, but are technically now uninforcable after Lawrence v. Texas.
(Abortion is still "outlawed" in some states, but "Roe v Wade" makes them legally unenforceable).




justasubguy -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/16/2006 5:18:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MichMasochist

BDSM is as diverse as are the people who participate in it. No one way is right or wrong.

Mich



That I have to agree with. I've always thought that in a relationship, it's about both people having fun together and enjoying each other's company - and if that includes sex, or BDSM, or both, or neither, then that's the business of the two (or more) who have the relationship. For me, I like to have sex be an regular part of a relationship I'm having, and anybody I get into a serious relationship with will have to accept that. That may not be what some people want, but again, I've always thought that a relationship is about having fun. For me, that means sex, too.



MollyMcEvil -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/17/2006 11:29:41 AM)

A law against anal sex... man i am glad i live in canada..



MsKatHouston -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/17/2006 11:39:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chains314

When i first got into this life style sex was taboo in it now  it seems it is a major part of it,  what has changed , Should it even be part of it . I don't think so Thats just my opinion for what its worth .


I don't think sex was ever taboo in the lifestyle though different areas, time frames and specific clubs may play up or downplay the role of sex.  Of course it should be a part of D/s if that's what you so desire.  It can not be if you so desire as well.  Most people, I imagine take it somewhere in the middle. 



Lordandmaster -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/17/2006 11:45:54 AM)

Yes, but it's still a bad idea to have unenforceable laws on the books, because states can (and often do) enforce them in the hopes that the courts will relent or reconsider their position.  I will never understand why anyone in the United States thinks there is a good reason for sodomy laws, but many people do and probably always will.

quote:

ORIGINAL: johnnywacks

Actually, most sodomy laws were overturned by the supreme court in 2003. (In a 6-3 ruling!).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_v._Texas

Yay progress!

The laws may still be on the "books" in many states, but are technically now uninforcable after Lawrence v. Texas.
(Abortion is still "outlawed" in some states, but "Roe v Wade" makes them legally unenforceable).



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/17/2006 1:32:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
TABOO?  People didn't have sex back then?
What are you talking about?

[nod] One of my first memories of the public scene is a guy bent over a bar stool while a couple of masters took turns ass fucking him.  Didn't seem like they thought it was taboo.
Damn it, I miss all the good scenes! [sm=lol.gif]  [sm=lol.gif] M



LadiesBladewing -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/17/2006 2:56:04 PM)

Whether sex does or doesn't have a place in a dynamic is completely dependent on who is involved.

We've been on the other end of the fence. We've been called unrealistic because we are a D/s collective in which service, not sex, is the major focus. My mate and I, however, both come to this from service orientations in other areas -- hers in healing, and mine through monastic training. We know for a fact, from having lived it, the fulfillment and sense of self-respect and dignity that can come from yielding in service, and focusing on the pleasing of another or others. The feeling is one that is completely exceptional.

Once an individual has yielded completely, offering him or herself in service with a joyful heart, sex within that relationship takes on a completely different context -- it becomes yet another act of service. Because of this, we choose to focus on drawing out the yielding -first-, and allowing that yielding to express sexually later, if it comes to pass that someone within our collective truly -needs- to be healed and made whole through that tool... and it becomes not an expression of ego-based pleasure, but an act of offering, blessing, and growing.

It wouldn't work for many, but we will stick with it, since it works for us, and we -love- seeing the changes that it makes in our servants, as they grow into such amazingly beautiful people.

Lady Abbess Zephyr WindDancer Bladewing



DommeShi -> RE: It seems sex has replaced service in the D,s life style (6/18/2006 3:41:22 PM)

There are a lot of aspects in the LifeStyle, and each needs to be their self, not to care what others do..



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