RE: Saying no to a domme

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 9:21:25 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: strob

I suppose that, at least majority of dommes, feel superior over men and I think that's ok, that's the way they should feel as a true domme.
So, this is what I was wondering; I get a message from a dominant lady on this community saying -Quote " slave, I read your profile and I want to chat with you, I want to get to know you...obey me and meet me at yahoo messenger" Unquote.
So, since this woman is not my owner or anything close to that, I check her profile and kinda dislike it, so I reply to her that I am not interested.
Does she get mad by being denied?
Does she expect that every sub male would always and by all means chat with her?
How would you react?

Were I to get an email like that which had an offsite email address (SINCE NOBODY RECEIVES THE EMAIL I SEND ONSITE) I would send a polite "Thanks but no thanks."

Whether she got mad about it, or expects every sub male to chat with her, I really wouldn't care.

(in reply to strob)

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/13/2006 10:16:07 PM

SoftTop

Posts: 24
Joined: 3/23/2006
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Hello strob,
I really think that every Domme is different you know? We aren't all going to agree on this or that, but one thing I think is certain is that when you receive a note like that one, you should definitely just ignore it. Anyone who will talk to you like that in their very first letter will only get worse as time goes on. Respect really is a two way street, (even if many of my Sisters disagree) and if a Domme isn't professional enough (especially in the beginning, before any boundaries are agreed upon) to grant you some respect, then she really doesn't deserve your time.

:)
M.

(in reply to strob)

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/14/2006 5:49:58 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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Very correct SoftTop,

Opening conversation should be handled very delicately.

You only get one chance to make a first impression.

Obviously the words that person spoke didn't make a good impression. A lot like the words that we dominant women get when we get the first contact one-liners like:

"Goddess, M'Lady (whatever)... I long to be naked & kneeling at your feet."

or something along those lines.

We all have to keep in mind that our status of dom or sub, top or bottom, master or slave is something that we are each aware of as an individual & obviously we are modestly aware that individuals we encounter on this site or another like it share similar mindsets. We can only find out if our ideas of what this means to us mirrors the person we talk with if we communicate & communication is a whole lot more than just tossing words out at someone.

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MstrssPassion

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/14/2006 12:37:18 PM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadamShy

its funny I would do same thing that I do when a sub sends Me such letter

ignore it and Move on if your not interested

or a polite No thankyou W/we don't seem to Match but thankyou for the interest if you prefure that .

its up to you dear

that is true but, as number of dommes exceedes number of subs by far too many, a sub can very well expect to get rejected often.
Actually, I never thought before that I might say no to a domme, until few days ago.

(in reply to MadamShy)

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/14/2006 1:07:13 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear strob, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Lad, it is evident that you are an indeed caring and polite sort. If you wish to say no to a dominant, do so politely by saying 'no thank you, I am not interested.'

If she gets her girdle in a bunch giving her a wedgie where the sun doesn't shine--that is her problem.

Respect is one of the paramount standards of the lifestyle and obedience is not assigned due to role but, rather a union/relationship with individuals and not the 'community at large.' Obedience is an acknowledgement of trust, communication and a relationship in many degrees from a moment to years. This is a good example of obedience is given because you want to--not because you have to.

Any seasoned dominant would not address you in such a manner, as we understand the standards that support obedience and not by 'rank' or role alone.

Indeed, according to your account of things, the lass attempting to command/order you to meet on Yahoo is what she has come to understand works to 'bait' individuals and draw men there. Some will fall for it and some will not. I would wager seasoned submissives and or slaves would not obey such a command.

IF, I was a submissive approached by such a lass, I would have said in reply, "Dear madame (note lowercase for a reason), I am pleased you read my profile however, I am not interested. I do wish you well in your search but, do take me off your list." Then, I would giggle my self silly, raid the refrigerator, grab a cold soda, plop a paper umbrella in it and suck up something more tasteful than the lass who would assume that you would obey a stranger. [Note: Lad, I don't drink and whip so root beer is as strong as I get ]

Respectfully submitted with a tad bit of humor,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/15/2006 1:48:30 AM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

IF, I was a submissive approached by such a lass, I would have said in reply, "Dear madame (note lowercase for a reason), I am pleased you read my profile however, I am not interested. I do wish you well in your search but, do take me off your list." Then, I would giggle my self silly, raid the refrigerator, grab a cold soda, plop a paper umbrella in it and suck up something more tasteful than the lass who would assume that you would obey a stranger. [Note: Lad, I don't drink and whip so root beer is as strong as I get ]

Respectfully submitted with a tad bit of humor,
Lady Hugs

yes, I did reply to her and it sounded just like that...

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/15/2006 9:40:35 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Everyone has their own interests and needs, so no, someone saying no isn't the end of the world for me. But then again, I'm not someone who will write commands in the first email I send to someone. That comes once they appear to be interested and have shown me that they actually DO desire my control. Why waste it on a perfect stranger?

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/16/2006 11:16:19 AM

cloudboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: UtopianRanger

With the most heartfelt sincerity...... I think you should obey her every command. And if she deems necessary.... hand over your wallet & platinum and gold cards.

- R

Clearly he's no more than a wannabe.

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/17/2006 1:12:33 AM

MisPandora

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strob

Yes, I suppose You are right...however, some subs might not want to be treated with any respect...

So that means that we need to change who we are as people? I think not. How about if the sub doesn't like it, he can go bark up another tree!

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/17/2006 1:14:42 AM

MisPandora

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strob
that is true but, as number of dommes exceedes number of subs by far too many, a sub can very well expect to get rejected often.
Actually, I never thought before that I might say no to a domme, until few days ago.

Excuse me? The number of fem doms outnumbers the subs? Where are you finding these statistics? LOL

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/17/2006 4:20:40 AM

strob

Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: strob
that is true but, as number of dommes exceedes number of subs by far too many, a sub can very well expect to get rejected often.
Actually, I never thought before that I might say no to a domme, until few days ago.

Excuse me? The number of fem doms outnumbers the subs? Where are you finding these statistics? LOL

no, sorry...I was wrong, I meant it the other way around...
I apologize, english is not my native language so I make mistakes

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/18/2006 3:44:46 PM

DommeShi

Posts: 58
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
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I Agree with Lashra, in the most sense of the word.

That tends to be both in the Domme side, and Really getting more so in the sub side.
NO respect....

Domme Shi

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RE: Saying no to a domme - 6/18/2006 3:51:32 PM

Catwoman69y2k

Posts: 10
Joined: 6/2/2006
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I have to agree with what many others are saying. One of the things that is a pet peeve of mine is when I get contacted by someone I have never met on or offline. They send me a message that is commanding of my attention and acknowledgement as my master or daddy. I cant stand it because even if iwas a submissive (not a switch) it is rather presumptious of them. IN my opinion, real dommes are not going to feel the need to assert this to me right away. Why? Because a true domme uses his/her/hir actions instead of big talk.

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