patrick15sub
Posts: 28
Joined: 9/30/2012
From: New York
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DNAHelicase
quote:
ORIGINAL: patrick15sub
Hello [name redacted],
i stumbled upon Your profile and saw that we are into some of the same things, vanilla and otherwise. Do You practice yoga in the city? i used to go to pure east. I hope You're having a wonderful week.
-a sub named Patrick.
Quick answer: that's a decent message, and if you were local and sent me that message I would take a look at your profile and then respond politely. I tend to be a lot nicer about responding to messages (as long as they're polite) and more forgiving about generic messages than many women I know, though.
Longer, nitpickier answer: It could be longer and more in depth. Women get a LOT of one line messages from men who are just fishing for replies. The men who do that generally make their messages generic because they copy and paste, so yours is a little bit better than that (mentioning a specific thing that she likes--yoga). But even so, it still reads like a generic C&P message that the sender (you) just tweaked slightly after scanning a profile for a grand total of a minute for something to lift and insert into the message before sending it.
So here's the cost benefit analysis you need to consider. You can certainly send more messages with less investment if you keep them short. More messages means you might get more replies (not necessarily though, as women who have been on sites like this for a while tend to just trash the one liners). On the other hand, you can put a good bit of time into each message you write, tailoring it very specifically to the individual recipient, but you still run the risk of not getting a reply or a no thanks. For myself, when I message people I base my decision to send a long or short message on the individual person's profile. If a person has a thoughtful, well-written, interesting profile, I send him or her a thoughtful, detailed message, mentioning several things from the profile that I find interesting and asking questions that follow naturally from those subjects. If a person has a short, generic profile, then I send a short, mostly generic message although I do try to tailor it at least somewhat if I can.
Generally speaking, I've found that the people who have filled out profiles with lots of info about them (not just their kinks) and who can write well are more inclined to respond favorably to polite, well written messages you might send, even if it's to say "no thank you but we can chat as friends if you'd like." If you're contacting people who have nearly empty profiles, very little about them other than the things that make them wet, or a profile full of pictures with little text--those types are probably going to be the ones who ask you for tribute or don't respond at all. If memory serves, I saw you start another thread asking about the best way to meet people and you were directed towards in person events/fetlife. Considering your location, that might be far more fruitful than collarme for you. I imagine there's a decent sized pool of people who are seeking partners in your area. Online is not impossible, but it is less likely to work for a variety of reasons--not the least of them being that it's just so much easier to strike up a conversation and connect to somebody in person than it is online. Meeting people at munches means you also don't have to worry about people who have no intention of ever moving it to a face to face meeting, a common problem here.
Please take what I'm saying with a grain of salt! I'm not trying to pick on you or be overly critical. I'm just trying to offer some advice that might be helpful to you. As it is now, the above message is not bad at all. I'm sure you know, though, that being a male sub means you have to sell yourself extra hard to get noticed favorably by a domme. Hopefully this will help. Good luck! 
P.S. Sorry if this is a bit ramble-y. I haven't gotten much sleep this week.
Rambly is good, it's more material :)
I am attending a local munch tomorrow based on the answers I received in the other thread, but I learned in math class that there are multiple solutions to a given problem. I would just like to keep myself open and out there as I would like to find the right woman. I think that the age range thst I am searching for may be part of the problem in my case 20-35. This subset is probably populated more by e-Dommes and Pro-Dommes. I will be on the lookout for more detailed profiles in the future. I had not thought of it as you have described, though it seems like the type of thing I would overlook (in terms of phrasing and less descriptive profiles being non-lifestyle or nonactive).
I haven't gotten much either so I understand perfectly, also excuse my poorly formed sentences.
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