RE: Tricks for taking pain!

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ladysuit -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/6/2012 2:03:34 AM)
I feel like context is important here. They were taken recreationally for my own enjoyment on my weekend. I coincidentally saw my gentleman friend that evening. Although I agree with your sentiment, in this instance it has nothing to do with desperately drugging myself to make my sexual needs compatible with someone else's. An off the cuff comment has derailed the thread slightly. My safety was never in jeopardy, we're talking spankings not stapling my feet together :P Once again thanks for the advice! I have actually found that music helps, as well as nice touchings after the nasty ones!

Duskypearls -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/6/2012 8:43:54 AM)
Lady, I should have thought to mention the use of sensual touch to counter the pain sensations, earlier. Personally, I cannot handle anywhere near as much pain as the average person in terms of being spanked. I have found I do best, and last waaay longer when the big pain is immediately followed by sensual touch. I seems I can only focus on one sensation at a time, so the fun sensation instantly erases the pain sensation, as if never existed. Without doing this, it would not be hard to cause me to dissociate and shut down from too much pain, which brings everything to a sudden halt. There are old, unconscious patterns still in me, learned early in life, to disassociate when physical pain from abuse becomes intolerable. I remember the first time that got triggered during a spanking, not all that long ago (I haven't been doing this sort of thing for very long), when in a split second, I got pushed over the edge and involuntarily "went to ground," as it were. It scared the crap out of me; tears came pouring down, I couldn't breath, I couldn't talk, and the flight survival aspect kicked in big time, but I was frozen, in shock and couldn't move. When I think back on it, I'm amazed at the old stuff it brought up in me I didn't realize was still there. Fortunately, my top talked and touched me back into the present. For days I was scared to death to ever consider playing again, as I dreaded another such occurrence. It took me a week, and several discussions with others, to come to terms with what happened, and realize if it happened again, I could learn, with help from others, to manage it. So, I make it a point to advise any top I play with, that this might occur, and what to do if it does. With each of the last maybe 7 spankings, I have gotten progressively better and more skilled at getting to that nearly disassociating point, but being brought back with the help of sensual touch, and self-talk and deep, controlled breathing to bring me back down, and feel much safer about it. Finally, I no longer let my body's fear reaction panic my mind into thinking it's a life or death situation, from which I need to escape in order to survive. I am thrilled to say that during my last spanking, without the top's help, I was able to completely keep myself from going over the edge, all by myself, with self-talk about me being safe, and focusing on my breath, within maybe a three second time frame, so that the spanking could go on at the same pace and intensity. Yippee! It may not seem like much to others, but it's a big deal to me, and I'm proud of it, and I expect to get better at it as I go. Being spanked is teaching me much about myself, especially about that which within me still needs to be healed. What wonderful therapy!

ThundersCry -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/6/2012 2:59:32 PM)
Its been my experience breathing can help in some circumstances...I help my daughter with one of her childs births and told her quietly how to breath, etc. The nurses thought I had taken a class with her -L- I always tell the one I am inflicting pain upon HOW to breath...I WANT their breath...its mine at a point. Its also my experience that in somne cases nothingggggggggggg helps, you just endure and in time if thats all you do is endure you will become resentful, which in turns leads to lack of communication. Anyways...good luck. its not about pain with many couples. Peace....

ladysuit -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/7/2012 4:05:14 AM)
quote: Its also my experience that in somne cases nothingggggggggggg helps, you just endure and in time if thats all you do is endure you will become resentful, which in turns leads to lack of communication. This has been huge food for thought. Doesn't really apply in this situation as everything is out in the open, but it is totally something I am prone to doing in other aspects of my life. It will be very helpful for me to be more aware of it. Thank you.

kalikshama -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/7/2012 5:37:21 AM)
quote: Whatever pleasure/pain crossover ya'll have in your heads doesn't exist in mine and 5 spanks in I am crying and shouting like a little bitch. I'm not particularly crazy about spankings. I'll tolerate a bit of this as a warm up. This has nothing to do with my pain threshold, but how my body reacts to this particular sensation. What other sorts of things are you two doing? Are you intolerant of all sorts of sensations? I adore a big, heavy flogger. Here's a good guide to sting vs thud, low-medium-high intensity floggers: http://www.detailstoys.com/floggers.html I love the TENS but hate the violet wand. I have a love/hate relationship with the cane but can take a few strokes if they are mixed in with stuff I like and if I know how many I am going to receive.

Kana -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/7/2012 7:06:22 AM)
quote: Its been my experience breathing can help in some circumstances...I help my daughter with one of her childs births and told her quietly how to breath, etc. The nurses thought I had taken a class with her -L- I always tell the one I am inflicting pain upon HOW to breath...I WANT their breath...its mine at a point. This. I use controlled breathing meditation techniques on her often. She'll start freaking in her mind, hyperventilating, take a bad scenario and make it worse. I'll stop, touch her, hold her close, use that soft voice to calm her mind a little, then get her to start breathing with me, controlling runaways fear and emotions, lock her back into the scene, into me. Basic stuff-breathe in through the nose for an 8 count, hold for another 8 count, then slowly exhale through the mouth for 8 more. Hold breath and stay still for a final 8 count, then start the process again. It's amazing how fast this bring her back, often 10-15 breaths and we're good to go. I also remind her that I love her, that I'm in control, that she's not taking anything she hasn't before and that I know what I'm doing and that I always stop if things look like there going to far. Yeah, that helps alot. But, grins, then again, sometimes the Devil jumps in me and I just lay out some brutal shit. Then she's just gotta take it

avena -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/7/2012 8:56:44 PM)
There has been some awesome advice in this thread. Most of what I would say would just be a repeat of what's already been said...breathe...warm up/build up slowly to begin with...etc. I am/was in the same place that you seem to be though. D is a sadist, and I am not a masochist. I accept the pain he inflicts during spankings because it gives him pleasure to do it. A year and a bit on, I'm at the point where SOME of the pain is actually enjoyable to me as well. But for the most part, the fact that turning my arse red with various implements of pain turns him on, turns me on immensely as well. And as someone already said, arousal during the process changes how the pain feels. We actually had a good spanking sessions last night. [:D] For a formal session, I'm always restrained. D always starts with just his hand, and alternates cheeks. Then he moves on to other implements, varying the pressure, number, etc. MOST of the time he gives me time to recover (ie, slow my breathing and relax) after particularly hard blows. He judges when the next blow falls based on my actions/reactions, and he gives me breaks every so often, along with something else to focus on. A favourite is a few minutes of my lips wrapped around his cock, or some light petting or stroking. He'll also use a cool cloth to sooth my stinging ass, and tell me how proud he is of me for taking it so well. And that, if nothing else has done it by that point, makes me go completely gooey. D is very good at gauging my reactions and knowing when it's time to stop. He likes to push me to the edge of what I can take, but he has never yet pushed me too far. And as for the implements he uses on me, some are better than others (from my point of view), but if something really hurts, and I can't take it, then he wants me to tell him right then and there. It doesn't mean that the paddle or whip or whatever gets put away never to be used again, it just means that he shifts to something else for a while, or changes how he's using it. Last night lasted well over an hour and ended with two puddles on the floor under the stool I was tied over. One was tears. One was the result of my arousal lasting for more or less that entire time. [:D] And it wasn't the pain that got me started or kept me going. Hopefully you'll find your own headspace for that, so the pain becomes less of a focus. Good luck!

ladysuit -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/8/2012 8:59:21 AM)
Thanks heaps, avena. That's almost... Inspirational! I'm on holiday overseas at the moment and as lovely as it is I'm gagging (hehe) to get back and practice all these fun and practical ideas! Also the German slut dude made me lol.

ivone1 -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/8/2012 11:11:23 AM)
breath between strokes.... start out light ... a long warmup might be needed.... then you can take more.... but by all means there is nothing wrong with you... it just takes years and time to be able to handle it ..... and did i mention a long slow warm up ... if Master goes in full swing i cant take it .. i cry almost immediately..but if i get a long warm up i can take more longer but thats just me ... i do try to breath out when he swats me with whatever impliment he is using.. it kinda processes the pain a bit... but just a bit.. sometimes it just plain ol hurts... just saying

orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/8/2012 1:05:58 PM)
Breathing out can at least prevent screaming. Take long slow deep breaths out when he's hurting you. Also, get as turned on as you can - I mean, take it to an extreme. Arousal can make many things pleasurable that are actually painful.

ivone1 -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/14/2012 3:37:41 PM)
tricks for taking pain... inhale then exhale as the whip, cane or whatever hits you... it seems to not make the pain as intense... plus cussing alot does help... just saying

PurrPett -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/15/2012 5:13:55 PM)
Lol I have to say, i have limited experience..but I am one that loves pain.. I can take a whipping with various crops and stand firm.. But there is always, always (underline)someone out there that will bring you to the edge... So.. He is doing his thing?? .. Testing your boundaries and taking you to the edge... If its mixed with moments of pleasure in between spanks, you'll learn the two co exsist nicely. They become one and something you look forward too ;-) Pain, pleasure... Purr!! Lol Best of luck with it x

gungadin09 -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/15/2012 10:31:14 PM)
I'm also a newbie, and not a masochist. I can take pain only if I get a long slow warm up, and drink lots of water beforehand. If you can get into subspace, the pain lessens considerably. ETA: Also, timing is important. He should be able to read your body reactions to some extent. When it gets to the point that it's almost too much, he should stop, rub your butt a little bit, do something that feels good, and then start over. You will last a lot longer that way. Pam

seekingreality -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/16/2012 12:18:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ladysuit Right. I'm a bit concerned because I've been lurking and stalking for a while and you're ferocious, albeit well-informed, bunch but I'm going to ignore my intimidated feelings because I genuinely need some ideas and Google isn't helping. I am the World's Worst Masochist. I love it that he likes inflicting various types of fairly tame pain on me, and I love pain for humiliations sake, but I just can't deal with it! Whatever pleasure/pain crossover ya'll have in your heads doesn't exist in mine and 5 spanks in I am crying and shouting like a little bitch. He's awesome about it, before anyone comments that he shouldn't pressure me into doing anything I don't want to do. I also REALLY want to be able to do this for him, pleasing him is my kink even if being in pain isn't and it's not like any permanent damage is occurring. So I guess has anyone else ever had my problem? Is there any kind of breathing exercises I can be doing? I mean obviously a good opiate addiction would help my cause but I'm not going to resort to that or numbing creams or whatever anytime he wants to wallop me on the ass. Thanks :) Also keep in mind that there are plenty of submissives who are not physical masochists, and lots of people engage in BDSM activities without introducing significant pain into the situation. Pain thesholds are highly individual.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/16/2012 3:46:16 AM)
There are some forms of pain that are "interesting" to me in and of themselves, but quite a few of them aren't. I consider myself a masochist because I like suffering for someone who wants to inflict that on me. Something about it makes me squirmy, even if the actions and details of it aren't things I like. For me, it's not an instant "pain-pleasure" transfer. I wouldn't really call it pleasure, it still hurts, just in a different way. Pain is pain. But when it comes to the pain that isn't interesting, I've found that flexing my hands helps. Breathing, like others have said - exhales on impact. Zoning out and letting things melt in - of course, sometimes you can't do that, either, sometimes you just have to be aware. If I'm mobile enough, I'll kick my feet) not huge wild movements, just small ones. It's sorta like the hand flexing - sort of a way to let a feeling come in and then pass through, if that makes sense.

whipher1 -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/17/2012 10:39:45 AM)
Yes so true reading the body is a big part of it, knowing when she has had to much its pain backing off then starting all over again Its Pain with TLC

CuriousFerret -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/17/2012 1:06:11 PM)
Okay, some people get a certain amount of pleasure out of moderate levels of pain. That's for them. For me, the idea behind pain is to teach me submission to my husband. Nothing else. If I try to back out of it, I feel ashamed of myself and very much like a traitor...I feel that I've been disobedient. However, the pain hurts, as it should. It's a test of my obedience to him. Theoretically, I could resist, but that's like saying I could steal money from someone. Sure, I could, but I'd lose sleep that night. I'd feel diminished as a human being. I'd feel like a phony and a pretender. A little pain humiliates me and makes me cry, but feeling hollow like that would make me feel utterly worthless. The pleasure in it is simply knowing that I've been a good, obedient pet. Nothing more, nothing less. It means that, when the evening comes, I can lie across his feet submissively and feel like I am legitimate and pure. I can feel like I am doing something other than acting out some kink. I feel like I am where I belong. It may be different for other people, but that's how it is for me. Fortunately, he doesn't punish me physically very often, and I usually deserve it when he does. However, it would be horrible if I were being bad and he didn't correct me when I needed it. I don't want to be a degenerate. I want to be a good pet. So the simple trick to dealing with pain is that, if you are doing it my way, you don't. It's meant to hurt you. You ought to cry and submit to your master in hopes that he will take pity and be merciful toward you. You don't want the pain, really, but you do want to know that he can be firm with you when you've been disobedient.

rhondare -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/17/2012 1:12:53 PM)
FR I just turn me up some Halestorm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpJAmlnBxoA

WhipLuvr -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/17/2012 11:39:19 PM)
Try finding something that has a little bit of texture, like a crack in the floorboard, carpet,an edge on whatever you've been tied to. When it hurts too much, press down on the thing and feel its texture, focusing only on it. This helps me when I need to do something painful Hope it helps you.

littlewonder -> RE: Tricks for taking pain! (10/17/2012 11:44:36 PM)
you could do what we do, wear a bridle gag. For me it helps when I'm really in pain because it's something I can bite into, just like in those movies where they have to remove a limb without anesthesia, they give the person something to bite down on to help them a little.

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