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RE: Protocol! - 6/15/2006 6:43:29 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WolfinShadow

If you wish to speak of organizing , event planning , Party giving , community building , Well Now you would have to speak of the Sub's , Slaves, Bottoms because in all Honesty , In all the communities I have visited , all the events I have attended its always the " Subbies" doing all the work. Without them there would be nothing for us Ol fat Dominants to do ::smile:::

Then again , Without us <Shrug> what would you have a party for?

<cracks up> Now, THAT was funny!

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RE: Protocol! - 6/15/2006 9:43:21 AM

YoungBlondeSlave

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Is this the same as high protocol? I have heard both interchangeably so it gets a little confusing. Although I no longer have this problem since I have an owner and he is the only one I address as Sir I found myself in the same predicament. My biggest problem would lie in how to address them after recieving an e-mail from them and seeing that they sign it as "Master ______" and/or "Mistress _______" etc. I always felt at a loss of how to address in that particular situation.

Also, I'm rather blunt so that gets me into trouble...after the first five minutes of talking to someone and they ask me to adress them as Sir or Ma'am I ask the question "do you own me." When they say no I tell them "no offense but I will save that address for my owner so I don't cheapen the meaning because I will only have one owner and he is the only one I will address as Sir." Every once in awhile they get ticked, but usually they respect it.

Conversely I find it HUGELY disrespectful when someone IMs/E-mails me and the first words out of their mouth are "Hello slut." Sheesh, can't they reciprocate the respect? That is something I will only tolerate with my owner because it is one of his pet names for me. I am a big believer in the fact that you have to give respect in order to get it, if you don't give it to me you will not get it in return.

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RE: Protocol! - 6/15/2006 9:48:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungBlondeSlave
Is this the same as high protocol? I have heard both interchangeably so it gets a little confusing. Although I no longer have this problem since I have an owner and he is the only one I address as Sir I found myself in the same predicament. My biggest problem would lie in how to address them after recieving an e-mail from them and seeing that they sign it as "Master ______" and/or "Mistress _______" etc. I always felt at a loss of how to address in that particular situation.

Just cut off the master or mistress. Unless you're in a socially closed group (who should tell you of any rules they have), or with someone who has been given a socially recognized title (such as duke or lady or president or queen in the "vanilla world") , titles are self imposed and do not require any recognition or usage by you whatsoever.

A

quote:

lso, I'm rather blunt so that gets me into trouble...after the first five minutes of talking to someone and they ask me to adress them as Sir or Ma'am I ask the question "do you own me." When they say no I tell them "no offense but I will save that address for my owner so I don't cheapen the meaning because I will only have one owner and he is the only one I will address as Sir." Every once in awhile they get ticked, but usually they respect it.

I think that's too complicated. If they ask that, I just say "No thanks, I prefer not to use titles" and leave it at that. They either respect it or we don't continue to talk.

quote:

Conversely I find it HUGELY disrespectful when someone IMs/E-mails me and the first words out of their mouth are "Hello slut." Sheesh, can't they reciprocate the respect? That is something I will only tolerate with my owner because it is one of his pet names for me. I am a big believer in the fact that you have to give respect in order to get it, if you don't give it to me you will not get it in return.

Eh some people get turned on by it. Those are the just the dorks you click away immediately. Remember- they think YOU should be giving them respect as well.

If we all waited around for everyone to give respect before we gave any, we'd be in pretty sad shape. Just be yourself, respect YOURSELF by always having good manners towards others, and ignore the ones who choose not to respect you.

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Post #: 23

RE: Protocol! - 6/15/2006 12:59:12 PM

artglfr

Posts: 235
Joined: 4/8/2005
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Good manners are always appreciated. I am a Dom and try to always address others as Ma'am or Sir until I find out otherwise.

Asking people what they prefer works well also. I cannot stand being called "Master" for example and some subs seem to always do this. Master to me implys the "All knowing Omnipotent"... and I am just trying to muddle by with what little sanity I have left.

I enjoy reading your Posts. You seem happy, intelligent and to know what you are searching for. Too bad you don't live in Texas.

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Post #: 24

RE: Protocol! - 6/17/2006 8:32:00 PM

Bearlee

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From: South Central CO
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<grinz> Well thank you, Sir...that was very kind of you to say...

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Post #: 25

RE: Protocol! - 6/18/2006 9:13:27 PM

Kree

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
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(fast reply)
Personally, I do not like the word "Sir". The internet has created a situation where that is the title of choice demanded by morons that would likely put their eye out if the owned a flogger. I rarely comment on my dislike for the word, but a friend used to call me Unsir because I made my comment about it so often.
I prefer to be called Kree, or if someone really knows me, my real name is fine. Respect is NOT given with a title, it is given with action.

As to a title for subs, they have a title... submissive. I do not use the words "sub", "subs", and NEVER "subbie". I respect submission and submissives and feel that using sub, subs, subbie denigrates what these wonderful creatures bring to the table. Call my submissive "subbie" and you might just see her answer by calling you "dommie", while I laugh my ass off as you sputter about insults.

< Message edited by Kree -- 6/18/2006 9:14:13 PM >

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RE: Protocol! - 6/18/2006 9:23:06 PM

feastie

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Basic common courtesy is all that is owed to a stranger in a PM box. Be polite, be nice, but reserve the honorifics for those you know personally and you feel are deserving of them. Beware the stranger that demands it.

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RE: Protocol! - 6/19/2006 12:08:29 AM

KSControl

Posts: 13
Joined: 6/15/2006
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My philosophy is that everybody 'deserves' respect, until they prove otherwise. I'm a Dom, but in r/l, I use sir and ma'am quite often. I grew up in the south, and that's just how I was taught you should address people. In addition, I spent 10 years teaching martial arts, and addressed ALL of my students, from the 8 year olds to the 80 year olds, as sir and ma'am. Online, I generally use people's names. I think it's perfectly appropriate for a submissive to address any Dom/me as sir or ma'am, online or not, just as it is appropriate for Doms to show respect for subs/slaves, both on and off line. While others may have their own guidelines, I tend to think the use of the term 'Master' should be reserved for someone with whom the submissive has a committed D/s relationship. What really matters, however, is that people show respect to others. Chat room Doms are notorious for getting bent out of shape because someone didn't address them properly, but then, they're also notorious for demanding someone kneel and submit the moment they 'walk' in the chat room 'door'. Call me sir, call me KS, K, whatever you're most comfortable with. If you treat me with the respect due another human being, I'm not going to stress too much over semantics. :)

(in reply to mastersayed)

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Post #: 28

RE: Protocol! - 6/19/2006 6:21:28 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
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Kree, if I have called you Sir, I apologize.

For me, the ‘Sir’ part is not really an honorific as is ‘Master’ or ‘Lord’…..but a polite salutation. (read: Dear Sir or Madam). I regularly use the terms Sir and Maam…even in the vanilla world…even to clerks in stores.

I don’t call anybody Master.

If I were to talk to a Dominant in person or online, I would intersperse their nic, their name and Sir, as I wrote. And sometimes Sweetie (though never ‘Hey, you!’) LOL

bearlee/beverly/bear/bj/beej/honey/sweetie/girl...

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RE: Protocol! - 6/20/2006 5:54:23 PM

Totalmaster4you

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Since that I believe Sir is a generic means of conveying respect and I appreciate when that courtesy is used. If someone behaves in such a way as to lose that respect then do not use the honorarium Sir or Master or any other because as it has been said befor it must be earned.

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RE: Protocol! - 6/21/2006 9:10:28 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WolfinShadow
As for me I have a " Lord" title on My AOL SN , But tell people to call me wolf because the lord thing makes me want to write in stone or part the waters of the bathtub. I prefure wolf Unless you are involved with me on a D/s level or are just raise to be respectful which quite a few people still are . Not so Much on the internet , But there are some. and Again , It is their choice , Be it Wolf , or Lord, Or Sir Or Master , because demanded it means nothing but another SN , But given freely ? ::smile:: yes I like it . Its respectful and a nice way for someone to show they think your the cats pajamas, the Bee's knee's , Hot stuff.

Wow for a 40 year old I sound older

Lord Old, Parter of Bathwaters.....*grins* I think we'd vended together a number of years ago at VV? Ring a bell? If you're indeed "that Wolf", it's good to see you once again!

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"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Protocol! - 6/21/2006 9:13:01 AM

MisPandora

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mastersayed

protocol sucks. just do what suits you

Sadly, this is spoken like a true 18 year old that's not learned what honor and respect is.

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RE: Protocol! - 6/21/2006 9:22:21 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
Sadly, this is spoken like a true 18 year old that's not learned what honor and respect is.

While I don't say "protocol sucks" I will say "expecting people to agree to a protocol based on a persons personal relationship orientation is dorky"

And I think people should do what suits them.

I think I understand what honor and respect is and I think it has nothing to do with a persons personal relationship orientation (which is what 99% of these conversations are talking about).

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RE: Protocol! - 6/21/2006 9:29:22 AM

elsie

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Only because i've worked with the public for so long, it's just natural for me to address people with respect as Sir or Ma'am, even if they are assholes. Sometimes i've found that a smile and a courteous "label" can at times turn their attitude.

When talking in chat, i will never address anyone as Master or Mistress because they do not hold my leash. (Goreans are sometimes an exception but not always).

(in reply to kaijahania)

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RE: Protocol! - 6/21/2006 9:39:53 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kaijahania

Hi, just a general query, if chat or on a messenger a Dom talks to me how do i address them? Do subs call all Dom's Master or Sir or just their own particular Master?

Thanks

The best policy IMO is to use terms of Authority...Sir,Ma'am when first contacting
a Dom.
I dont think its inappropriate for a Dom to be asked to be called Master or Mistress when your still in the stages of getting to know someone.It is a show of respect nothing more.

When I take someone on( that would mean more than chatting) I have them address Me by My real name Ms.Shelly.

Its all about personal preference and how strict the particular Dom is.

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RE: Protocol! - 6/21/2006 9:50:33 AM

MisPandora

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From: Philadelphia, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
Sadly, this is spoken like a true 18 year old that's not learned what honor and respect is.

While I don't say "protocol sucks" I will say "expecting people to agree to a protocol based on a persons personal relationship orientation is dorky"

And I think people should do what suits them.

I think I understand what honor and respect is and I think it has nothing to do with a persons personal relationship orientation (which is what 99% of these conversations are talking about).

My statement came from the position that I remember saying the very same thing when I was 18, and had little life experience. (Well, life experience for me was already being an EMT, having held dying people, saving people, etc.....for two years.) Still, I had little regard for propriety.

Several people here have brought up basic forms of address are simply courtesies that we've learned through growing up. My grandfather was a marine. We learned please and thank you and Ma'am and Sir as a way of respecting one another, and no, it had nothing to do with your having to be in a relationship with one another.

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Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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RE: Protocol! - 6/21/2006 9:54:32 AM

slavejlb

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the answer is a simple one, you addres the dom/Master or Mistress is how they wish to be address, most of the time they will let you know, what makes them comfortable
take care and be safe
slave jlb

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Post #: 37