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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/9/2012 10:21:18 AM

Hillwilliam

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To the OP. I'm not sure if you have checked this before sending a message to folks but a lot of profiles aren't particularly active.
Before you write to someone, check to see when was the last time they were on the site (It's on their profile). You might want to but I feel it is a waste of time to write a letter to someone who hasn't been on for a month or more.
As for kinky bastids in RW areas, trust me on this one. They're out there. I live on the buckle of the Bible Belt and there are a lot of local kinky folk.

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/9/2012 12:30:48 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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As a couple looking for a third, expect to be ignored. Also, expect your share of folks who can see what they can get out of you (paying for dates, travel money, etc) just because they (the bi-sexual, female submissive willing to join a couple) know they are a hot commodity and can darn near write their own ticket. Your odds on the net are *not* good when you look at the numbers.

Do what it takes to get out into the BDSM and poly communities. You'll have a much better chance in the face to face world.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/9/2012 12:31:04 PM >

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/9/2012 4:32:21 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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As a long-time poster who has done my fair share of unicorn hunting, I offer you a few tidbits of advice:

1. Head over the the polyamory section of this forum and do a search using the keywords "unicorn hunting" and "finding a third."

2. While you're reading, pay special attention to the series of questions I've posted a couple of times that deal with things like living/sleeping arrangements, finances, and chores.

3. Once you've answered those questions for yourselves, incorporate them into your profile.

4. Unicorns also want to know how long you've been in your relationship, how much experience you have with polyamory, why you're looking to date as a couple instead of dating separately (HINT: a one-penis policy is *not* going to go over well.), and whether or not you're looking for a disposable, add-on toy or a long-term commitment. Incorporate all of that information into your profile as well.

5. If you have little or no experience with polyamory DO NOT try to date as a couple. Seriously. Date as individuals first and figure out how you handle jealousy, time envy, etc. If you have lots of experience with poly, disregard this point.

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/9/2012 4:40:30 PM

wnyThroatLover

Posts: 214
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Now that is some fantastic advise, thank you!!!!

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/10/2012 12:19:31 AM

gungadin09

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I'm deleting this thread unread.

Pam

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/10/2012 5:15:47 AM

wnyThroatLover

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Ooh thanks, Pam...

...*sob* we're feeling the love

Haha

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/10/2012 6:29:45 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wnyThroatLover

A love for praise based psychological submission wrapped up in an intelligent, curious, and creative personallity sprinkled with a bit of sarcasm and wit...

Holy shit...that really IS a unicorn, huuh?

I heard my name called... Oh wait... a couple. Sorry. You seem like a lovely couple. Good luck. :)

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/10/2012 6:30:50 AM

wnyThroatLover

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Aah sunshine, that's exactly right! Have you been hacking into our inbox? ;-)

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RE: Attempting to establish a baseline... - 10/10/2012 6:37:56 AM

sunshinemiss

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We've had some really good discussions about this kind of thing over the years, and it's a hard sell. No matter what kind of wonderfulness you have about you. I think, frankly, that any woman who is the kind of woman you would want (from the short little time you all have been posting and my own interpretation of same) would be careful, possibly cautious, and fairly slow moving... molasses slow. Not necessarily - the identical twin unicorn couplet may exist in the world but I doubt it.

And on a 98% unrelated note... I saw a note on my facebook feed that said, "Someone told me to grow up. I immediately removed them from the list of people who can meet my unicorn." (Or something like that. Made me smile. :) Have a lovely evening.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 10/10/2012 6:58:01 AM >

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