Being Authentic (Full Version)

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godmonger666 -> Being Authentic (10/10/2012 8:31:46 AM)

My attitude has undergone a lot of changes.

Things I that I now realize:
When one is alone and cannot find a partner for whatever reason; keep a positive attitude; don't be angry and lash out at people; once one is comfortable alone, can be alone without driving oneself crazy or upsetting other people; then in time, it could open doors to being accepted by others and having a partner, if it never opens doors and alone the rest of one's life; one can live with serenity and peace of mind.

Never compromise; if not accepted due to a fetish, religion, race, political affiliation, etc... be true to oneself; it is okay to be alone. Be prepared to say 'no' if it means compromising who you are. Don't let frustration expand into anger.

Some may say that I do not know how it feels to be prejudged due to race, religion, etc; because some feel that fetishes are exempt from prejudice; whenever one gets physically assaulted, verbally assaulted, persecuted, excluded because of a fetish, it is as bad as the prejudice against a certain race, against gays, against religions, etc; there is no difference.

am i okay with this? yes, that is just the way it is.

I just walk alone, smiling, content, knowing that I am fine just the way I am.



LadyPact -> RE: Being Authentic (10/10/2012 8:38:01 AM)

While I think the overall message/theory is a good one, I don't think being discriminated against because of a kink is anywhere near the same thing as being discriminated against because of race. (I'm a bit more literal when it comes to the word "fetish.") A kink you can pick up and put down. It doesn't come into your workplace. Your kink doesn't stick out when you are trying to get a cab or a table at a restaurant.

However, the rest is excellent! Most folks don't realize that they are most attractive when they are positive about themselves and are content within who they are. Kudos for that realization.



JanahX -> RE: Being Authentic (10/10/2012 9:49:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: godmonger666

Some may say that I do not know how it feels to be prejudged due to race, religion, etc; because some feel that fetishes are exempt from prejudice; whenever one gets physically assaulted, verbally assaulted, persecuted, excluded because of a fetish, it is as bad as the prejudice against a certain race, against gays, against religions, etc; there is no difference.



Ummm I think there is a HUGE difference.
as in race - you cant help what race you are. Thats it - it is not a choice.

Fetishes are a choice and you dont have to go around telling everyone about it either. First off - its none of their business and unless they ask - why would they be interested in the first place? So why would there be a prejudice against something that really doesnt concern them in the first place?

I have yet to go out into public and someone bring this up as a topic on conversation. eg.: Im at the country club - "oh Hi JanahX, how are you today? Are you one of those nasty disgusting people that are into kink?"



CHF73 -> RE: Being Authentic (10/10/2012 11:06:21 AM)

I agree with the basic message of the OP: only when you're feeling comfortable and happy with yourself, you can find a partner.
I also agree with JanaX: while you can hide (and partially change maybe) your religion, your political affiliation and your fetishes it's impossible to hide your race. So being dscirimitated on the second is very different from being discriminated on anything else.
Anyway, don't think that was the main point of the post.



godmonger666 -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 1:04:06 AM)

if the wrong people find out about a fetish; as i did, got threatened, physically assault, verbal assault, excluded/blackballed, my wife who i left back in March 2009, told everyone she knew about my fetishes to get people to hate me and want to hurt me; she was not the only one to do me that way; but it was the worse... i'm over that... adding to my Foo Fighters song... I walk alone... adding with my head held high... i had that desire/fetish for over 40 years, i would not give it up for my wife, i will not give it up for anyone.



littlewonder -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 1:07:39 AM)

eerr...whatever works for ya dude.



DarkSteven -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 4:53:54 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX
Im at the country club - "oh Hi JanahX, how are you today? Are you one of those nasty disgusting people that are into kink?"


Sock are allowed at country clubs now? What's the world coming to? In MY day, that would never have happened.



OttersSwim -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 7:58:00 AM)

And carrot top socks to boot! [:'(]



GreedyTop -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 8:03:33 AM)

*still looking forward to Janah's Halloween sock*



Calandra -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 8:42:54 AM)

godmonger, unfortunately, only a very very tiny percentage of women actually enjoy your fetish. Many people find it repulsive on a primal level, while others might be non-judgemental but refuse for health and sanitation reasons.

It seems to hurt you that people do not accept your fetish. I am sorry about that, but most people who are into scat play actually enjoy that people dislike it. They revel in the shock factor, the humiliation, the degradation. It seems that you don't fit into the "norm" even among people who do share your kink. That must be very difficult.

I wish you well. Perhaps someone out there will be exactly what you seek.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 9:44:46 AM)

Having people respond negatively and harshly to a fetish is toooooootally different than having people respond that way to you for something you can't control. You're stuck with a skin color and it is broadcast to everyone the minute you walk in a room. A fetish is a hobby.
Completely different.



JanahX -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 10:37:48 AM)

Im a sock from Chanel - HOW COULD YOU NOT GUESS THAT STEVEN?!?! :O)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


quote:

ORIGINAL: JanahX
Im at the country club - "oh Hi JanahX, how are you today? Are you one of those nasty disgusting people that are into kink?"


Sock are allowed at country clubs now? What's the world coming to? In MY day, that would never have happened.




Killerangel -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 10:54:37 AM)

Out of the examples you gave, race is the only one that is obvious to anyone - the other are things that you can keep to yourself. It's not always appropriate to bring up your religion or political affiliation in say the workplace, obviously not a fetish either. Why give anyone reason to be prejudiced? I don't really want to hear about people's religion or politics when I go to the dentist or buy a car. I definitely don't want to hear about their sexual fetish either. The things you are talking about as crosses to bear would be much different if they weren't shared with people that don't need to know about them.

One other thing, if you've lost so much due to your fetish it sounds like alcoholism to me and that it's not a healthy part of your life. Walking alone isn't necessarily the solution. If you are choosing to keep a sexual fetish over having people that are important to you, I'd just consider that a bit more deeply and see where that is getting you. I'm not saying not to hang on to the fetish, I'm saying there is a difference between having a side of yourself and having it overtake your relationships and life much like the difference between a casual drinker or an alcoholic.



Pyramus -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 3:48:21 PM)

Balance is the harmony of nature.



darkenchantments -> RE: Being Authentic (10/11/2012 3:52:33 PM)

I wouldn't necessarily regard a fetish as something we actively choose. The verdict is, so far as I'm aware, still out as far as the psychologists and neurologists are concerned. Maybe its due to our psychosexual development in early and later childhood; maybe its a learned or conditioned response; maybe its due to mixed up neurons! But I don't think its usually regarded as being something we can consciously choose or refuse. Well, not without CBT (and I don't mean the bdsm one here!), psychotherapy or medication.

I'm sorry to hear your ex and others chose to 'out' you on your particular pleasure, godmonger, and I wish you well in finding someone who shares this with you. I sort of get the impression from your profile - in the last sentence! - that you are also willing to bring rather more than just this to a relationship; if this is so, I wonder if it might be a useful idea to expand on this a bit more? A prospective partner might not want to focus solely on feeding you her faeces, but might be perfectly happy for this to be part of a much more rounded relationship.

all best wishes



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